swatdog Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 Hey everyone... So what does it mean when a girl calls you, even though you've been exes since Feb of this year, at least twice a week, sometimes even twice a day, and during the conversations she would sometimes bring up difference memories or phrases we had when we were together? To give you a little info, this girl and I were in love. I was her first kiss/boyfriend. Everything was great, despite the opposition from family and friends. But we were literally forced apart by her parents because of a slight age difference (1.5 years - Me, 18 and her 16). We never "ended" it ourselves. It quite literally just had to end, because her parents were threatening a restraining order against me because we were caught multiple times sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night (even thought we NEVER did anything, and I never would because of the age difference, especially at time in life). We never talked to each other and came to a "mutual" agreement that we were broken up. When we were forced apart, she spread crap about me to her friends and even to my friends, and tried to make my life crap because she thought I "broke up" with her when I didn't and she was hurt. I literally had no choice but to leave, and I tried explaining that to her. She would call me a player, etc.. A couple months later (June) I moved to Florida and she really didn't like that. Anyway, my question is why would she still call me and email me (I never call her, unless once in a blue moon), but at the same time when she does, she tells her friends and other guys who she sort of has a small thing for, that I'm bugging her and that I CALLED HER, and I'm the one who made her life crap? What is this? Immaturity? Why does she do that? I mean I know she's hurting and I am still too, but I have found a way to channel that hurt and anger into something positive. Is it because shes still hurting and wants me back but she thinks she can't have me, and is maybe too young and immature to know how to channel that hurt and anger away to a different place? Shes the kind of person who will hold feelings within until she EXPLODES. I don't think she knows how to deal with emotions. Anyway, what do you guys think?... girls??
Ocean-Blue Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 Hey everyone... So what does it mean when a girl calls you, even though you've been exes since Feb of this year, at least twice a week, sometimes even twice a day, and during the conversations she would sometimes bring up difference memories or phrases we had when we were together? To give you a little info, this girl and I were in love. I was her first kiss/boyfriend. Everything was great, despite the opposition from family and friends. But we were literally forced apart by her parents because of a slight age difference (1.5 years - Me, 18 and her 16). We never "ended" it ourselves. It quite literally just had to end, because her parents were threatening a restraining order against me because we were caught multiple times sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night (even thought we NEVER did anything, and I never would because of the age difference, especially at time in life). We never talked to each other and came to a "mutual" agreement that we were broken up. When we were forced apart, she spread crap about me to her friends and even to my friends, and tried to make my life crap because she thought I "broke up" with her when I didn't and she was hurt. I literally had no choice but to leave, and I tried explaining that to her. She would call me a player, etc.. A couple months later (June) I moved to Florida and she really didn't like that. Anyway, my question is why would she still call me and email me (I never call her, unless once in a blue moon), but at the same time when she does, she tells her friends and other guys who she sort of has a small thing for, that I'm bugging her and that I CALLED HER, and I'm the one who made her life crap? What is this? Immaturity? Why does she do that? I mean I know she's hurting and I am still too, but I have found a way to channel that hurt and anger into something positive. Is it because shes still hurting and wants me back but she thinks she can't have me, and is maybe too young and immature to know how to channel that hurt and anger away to a different place? Shes the kind of person who will hold feelings within until she EXPLODES. I don't think she knows how to deal with emotions. Anyway, what do you guys think?... girls?? She's probably angry with you. Also, she seems to have lingering feelings for you (hence the references to things from your relationship). She sounds like she's confused. She's probably trying to sort things out by talking to you...to see how you'll react, to see if there is anything there for her to go on. If you don't want a relationship with her, I suggest you ask her not to call you. Otherwise, decide if this is something you wish to deal with. The fact that she spread gossip about you is of concern. Is this the kind of person you want to date? Perhaps she's matured since the breakup... But again, it's always wise to keep away from those who are spiteful (ex or not).
Author swatdog Posted November 10, 2007 Author Posted November 10, 2007 She's probably angry with you. Also, she seems to have lingering feelings for you (hence the references to things from your relationship). She sounds like she's confused. She's probably trying to sort things out by talking to you...to see how you'll react, to see if there is anything there for her to go on. If you don't want a relationship with her, I suggest you ask her not to call you. Otherwise, decide if this is something you wish to deal with. The fact that she spread gossip about you is of concern. Is this the kind of person you want to date? Perhaps she's matured since the breakup... But again, it's always wise to keep away from those who are spiteful (ex or not). Yeah I agree, because when we talk, she'll at time bring up other guys that she's dated since me, even though she hasn't had a boyfriend since me though, and I was the last person she's kissed. I know that she's trying to bring up those other guys to see if I'll get jealous. I try my hardest not to, even though she tries to push my buttons all the time. She knows how I feel, and I explained to her what exactly happened after we separated and why I did what I did (moved away), and that I had no choice. I have and never will call her up and tell her that I love her. I never really liked that when her and I were together. I admitted that shes in my thoughts constantly, but I never did tell her that I want her back. Because we simply CAN'T be right now, even though I would do anything feasibly possible to have her back. I enjoy her calls, I look forward to them, but I ignore half of them because I feel like I have to. We're not together anymore, and I'm not obligated to picking up the phone anymore (never really was when we were together anyway), which makes her mad and not call me for a week or so sometimes. I don't know. When we were together, we expressed an interest in being together forever and continuing what we had when I came back from my 2 year mission I'll be going on for my church in the next 4 or so months, so I guess a part of me is hoping that maybe if I limit contact, and maybe never get all of this resolved that it will constantly be on her mind, and those feelings will still be there when I get back. I dont know, I just think I could use this as a door opener, but I also hope I can get her to a point where it deosn't cause her much pain anymore, because I really do love her.
Crestfallen_KH Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 She sounds pretty immature, but...she is only 16, and if you were her first love then that's always a big deal, no matter what age you are. I agree with Ocean Blue. She did what she did out of anger and hurt. And by mentioning the other guys, she's "feeling you out" to see how you'll react. It's obvious that she either still has feelings for you, or wants closure but doesn't know how to give it to herself. Would you really want to start back up again, particularly since this would now be a long-distance relationship (you're still in FL, I assume)?
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