Don't want to scare him off

[neergkris]

Hi, I"ll try to make this short. I've been divorced for a little over a year, have two children in elementary school. I recently met a man who has been divorced for about 5 years, also has two children, a little older than mine. We have been dating for about 7 weeks now. We started having sex after our third date, which I realize now was too soon. He is the first man I have dated since my divorce; I have only been with two other men, have never had another serious relationship. He has only had a few serious relationships, as he was married all through his 20s. My question is this:

 

We see each other about 3 times a week, talk on the phone most days, text a few times a day...but I seem to always be the one calling, texting. He has a phone that he has to answer for his job from 3:30 to 10 PM every weeknight, which is his cell phone, so it's hard to get ahold of him. I don't call him when he has his children at night during the week or every other weekend.

 

He has a myspace page; we are friends on it. He doesn't get on there every day, has said how technologically inept he is, and actually had his niece do his page for him. My problem is that the place where it says who he'd like to meet, it still says "beautiful women." Some of his friends, who are women, say how they need to get together, post comments, etc. It makes me so jealous... Now, he's 35, I'm 30. He's said how it's getting hard to meet women, how he doesn't have anyone...he said these things in the beginning..gave all sorts of hints about not having anyone significant in his life for awhile.

 

I am not dating anyone else, am developing strong feelings for him. I'm afraid to bring up exclusivity with him, for fear of A) finding out he's still dating other women and B) worried it will scare him off.

 

But we are having sex, protected, of course. So in my mind that means something, but perhaps it doesn't. I"m not sure what to do. Some nights I can't get ahold of him at all, but the next day when I call or he calls (I usually am the one calling) he wants to make plans to see me that day etc. When we're together we usually make plans for the next day, or if he has stuff to get done for work, or kids, etc, we make plans for later in the week.

 

Any advice? I don't want to scare him off, but at the same time I want to know where we stand. Is 7 weeks too soon to talk about this, even though we are already having sex, which I realize we started doing too soon. We should have talked about all this before we had sex, I know

[Illiandra]

You should talk to him and see what he wants out of this relationship. If he wants his cake and eat it too. Then you can decide what to do with the relationship.