What are the signs of someone who is cheating or is with someone new?

[Jasmine777]

Does anyone know the signs that a man is cheating or at least is with someone new?

[Crestfallen_KH]

If he says "I just want to be single." I've never heard anyone say that who didn't have someone already or someone lined up.

 

You can also google "infidelity" and find a lot of information on this subject.

[SunnyLady]

From experience iv managed to compile this list. However some guys are very skilled at hiding these signs. So you may or may not see some of the signs.

 

1) He becomes more distant...a bit out of touch. He starts to withdraw.

2) He becomes touchy and irritated by things you do...things that you've always done start to iritate them. He picks an argument over nothing.

3) He becomes impatient, dsntt want to have indepth discussions about the rship or your fears or doubt if you bring up issues. Minimal reassurance when you express fears and doubts.

4) In bed, he isnt as as attentive as he used to be in the past...he might strat demanding you do new things for him, to him. Perhaps the other woman is doing these to him. Or your sex life may change.

4)he spends less time doing intimate things with you... or his schdule becomes tighter ...for "some reason".

 

5) You begin to miss him more...it feels like you're not in a relationship even though you are in actually in a relationship. You begin to feel negleted and things don't improve.

 

6) Sometimes you get this gut feeling. Although it might simply be paranoia. In my case my suspiscions were confirmed.

7) He becomes more secretive, is restrictive of his phone etc . ( He might even change the password to his emails and all that).

8) You find yourself making more of the effort to do everything...things stop being mutual.

 

9) He become very critical of you. You begin to feel unappreciated.

Errr can't think up anymore, but for me the major tell tale sign was the diminishing attention he gave me. Went from being a doting man to a distant, moody, cold, impatient and critical man. He even told me i was boring in bed!!! Haha.

 

Flipping the coin

 

some men are skilled at covering their dirt. These ones at least have a conscience. They become nicer, sweeter, make nice gestures etc all in a bid to eliminate any form of suspsicion from one's mind.

 

Nevertheless...these signs may manifest as a result of other factors such as stress, worries etc.

 

But ild say more often than frequent, when these signs linger on, the man walked out of the rship, his cheating ways came to light or his attitude forced his lover to leave (he technically left her with no choice but to leave although not expressley saying so).

 

What's been going on? What signs are manifesting?

[Jasmine777]

Well for one thing, he has become distant and cold. He has tried to tell me that I am boering and not any fun anymore which I know is not true. He says he wants his space and now he just wants to be single. He went from telling me all the time how lucky he was to be with me and how much in love he was to not picking up his phone and saying he wanted to break-up. Now that we are broken-up, he calls me, wants to keep me hanging around but he will only want to talk for like two seconds and then hang-up. It is weird because his mood changed very drastically over night. He also kept telling me that you knew this was comming but guess what, our relationship was going very well. He is making things up that are bad about me and the relationship that just are not true. He claims up and down that he is not seeing someone new and that he wants to someday get married to me but why would he change so drastically. I have been searching for an answer and I am still clueless. We were in a relationship for about six years and all of a sudden he wants it to be over. What also gets me is he tells me to calm down and that he may want to get back together soon. I am VERY confused and I am trying to stay away from him but bottom line I want to know if he met someone and he will not tell me that. He also took pictures down off of his fridge, of me. If anyone has anymore signs of a cheater or signs that someone has found someone new, please let me know. Thanks!

[Crestfallen_KH]

 

Well, it doesn't look good. It sounds as if he wants to "try out" another relationship, yet keep you as an option. Obviously I can't know that for sure, but if you suspect that someone is cheating on you, you're usually right.

[SunnyLady]

Crest has summed it up. I think he has someone but he is not so sure it will work out , so wants to keep you on standby incase that affair fails.

 

Wow...mine is doing the same thing!! I think he calls you to ensure you don't move on completely and sort of leave him behind. So his random calls albeit short, are a reminder and reinforcement of his existence in your life. He doesnt want to be with you right now, which is why the conversations are short...but he is not quite ready to let you off completely. Typical selfish man! They believe we will always be there, i think they actually feel women don't move on.

 

Wow, my ex started formulating ideas...about me. He complained about every single thing! He made himself believe things that were non exsistent all in a bid to talk to walk out. But now he seems to be upset at my lack of contact, even questioning me for not contacting him!

 

Look this guy obviously is seeing someone. Im 99.9percent sure. He is way too fidgity to be single. He is being very selfish. Well i suggest you try to move on with your life and let it reflect. I bet you he will come back in full force...and even if he doesnt well ygood ridance to bad rubbish. I hope i don't appear too stern its just that men can be soo selfish. Does he actually expect you to wait around for him? He must have a lot of confidence...well most of them do.

[Crestfallen_KH]

Yep, I'm with Sunny. When my STBXH started having feelings for his now-girlfriend, he said "he just wanted to be single," said "our issues were workable, but I just don't have the desire to do the work" and started becoming more critical of me. He began to blame me for problems in the relationship and even started inventing issues. He would alternate between acting irritated and down around me to nice and accomodating.

 

He also said I didn't give him enough privacy (um, we were married) and started becoming more secretive with his cell phone and activities. He started going for walks at 9:30 at night took he cell phone with him. When the big blow-up happened, his first desire was to divorce - not even consider counseling or working on the marriage. He also refused to leave his current job (she was a co-worker, who has since been fired...hehehehe ) He really, really minimized his feelings for her, and tried to convince me he wasn't leaving me to be with her. Well, two weeks later he moved in with her after her husband moved out.

 

It's sad, really. They all sort of follow the same script when cheating and it sounds as if you're guy has a copy. I'm so sorry.

[SunnyLady]

Crest, that was a touching story. Im so sorry.

 

Unfortunately they all sort of follow the same script ...just like Crest said. Its shocking, the same script. Mine complaied about his space too. Became so secretive about his activties and phone. Shortly before our split he lashed out saying i was "too clingy". Why? Beacause i tried to embrace/kiss him after an argument. Something he had in the past always encouraged me to do.

 

But that's the way it goes. The irony is the more you try to love them and shower them with care, the farther away you push them.

 

*sigh*. don't know what to say Jasmine, hope you head gets clearer soon. It must be pretty confusing but now you have some facts to assist you.

Best Wishes. Let us know of any updates

[Jasmine777]

So here is a breif up-date. My ex-boyfriend claims he does not want to see anyone and that he wants to be single before he becomes tied down and married. He wants to talk to me all the time but I have not been picking up any of his phone calls. He says he is not sure what he wants right now. I am still confused!

[lexi29]

Jasmine, your ex sounds a lot like mine. He told me he just wanted to be single that he felt tied down (we were talking about marriage two weeks before he left me and HE was the one who brought it up). Told me he didnt' want to date anyone else , that he couldnt' even see himself being interested in anyone else for 3-6 months. Said he wasn't interested in dating or hooking up with anyone. Told me he still wanted to be friends and we could still talk. Was a bunch of bullsh**. NOt sure if this is the case with your ex but mine already had someone else lined up (and ex of his from years ago) and started dating her right away. I found out about it by accident. He said he didn't tell me because he didn't want to hurt me. His new relationship didn't last long and he called me wanting me back after 3 weeks of dating her.

 

Your ex wants to keep you around as an option. It sucks because I'm sure you still love him and he is using you as his back up in case he cant find anyone to date. Or in case it doesn't work out with whoever he is dating behind your back (if thats what he is doing). My advice is don't answer his calls, go no contact and make him realize he will totally lose you (and not have you as his security net) if he doesn't want to commit to you. Let him miss you.

[Jasmine777]

It is so crazy how we all have similar stories! At least I don't feel like I am the only one going through this. This is painful to say the least! I am finding out that his bestfriend in the whole world is a complete jerk and I think he is influencing him. Not to exuse his behavior but his friend is a huge womanizing creep. He is starting to see a married woman who is in her 40s and he is only 26. This woman gets around big time and is known throughout town. I am starting to freak out about this because my ex was so loyal and faithful and I am so afraid he is going down the wrong path by hanging out with this jerk. He has a mind of his own but I am still sort of in denial that we are broken up! We were in a long relationship! Everyone thinks this is crazy because we were a great match and everyone thought that we would get married and have kids! I guess we probably won't now!