R2litefan Posted May 19, 2003 Posted May 19, 2003 Hi All, I have a situation that I can use the help of others to help guide me in the right direction. Here is the situation: I met Paul at work a year and 1/2 ago, we became interested in each other, with him telling me that he really liked me and wanted to get to know me better, but wanted to take things slow. I had no problem with that and we continued to talk to each other at work and even planned to go to a Nascar race together, but the race plans fell apart when he couldn't get off of work but we still talked all the time. We had a Nascar bet each week and really had fun with that, meeting each week, talking about racing and about other things. He told me right from the start that he didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone at that time in his life, there were things that he felt he needed to have for himself before involving someone else in his life. I respected him for that, as he wanted to own his own car, have a place of his own and to have a stable job. How can you complain about that? All was going well, he got his full time position at work and I asked him if I was hoping for nothing, that all I needed to know was if there was hope, I didn't need anymore than that right now, and he told me that he liked me, to keep hoping. I was very happy with that answer, but two days later, he lost his job for no reason I might add and things went from good to bad. I did all that I could do at work to try and get his job back, which by the way I did, but while he was off of work (2 months) all he saw when we ran into each other was work, not me and he took all of his anger out on me because of what work did to him. It really put a strain on the friendship, actually I figured the friendship was over and that he wanted me out of his life, and then he was called back to work, and I went and talked to him but he was very cold toward me. I was also told by one of his friends that he moved in with a girl who makes lots of money and lives on a golf course. That really hurt me because of what he had told me he wanted before letting anyone in his life. In the past few weeks at work, he has been more responsive and sweet toward me, when he looks at me his eyes soften and he smiles at me. He has made comments to me that he has done some really stupid things, banging his hand on his forehead while saying stupid, stupid, stupid. I just don't know how to take this, was he trying to say he was sorry for taking his anger out on me and that he still wants to be friends? I just don't know. He is very special to me, not only as a friend but as a confidant as well. I am confused on what to do, should I continue to keep hoping, seeing things are somewhat back to the way they used to be before he lost his job, or should I just stay away and end the friendship all together? Please help me if you can. Thanks.
Tony T Posted May 19, 2003 Posted May 19, 2003 I don't see any good reasons for hanging around this guy. He's living with another lady...didn't keep his word to you. He's financially unstable and he goes bonkers when difficulties arise in his life instead of hanging with his relationship and working things through with his partner. Nothing good is going to come from having him in your life...even if he wasn't living with another girl. Move on!
jessicakicksbut Posted May 19, 2003 Posted May 19, 2003 The way I see it was that he may have been seeking to get ahead materialistically and financially, and was not interested in a relationship because in his mind it "hindered" his goals. Since you did not make enough money to help him reach his goals, he found someone else who did...unless the co-workers are lying to you.
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