Dear Lady Disdain Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Hi there... My ex has been waiting for me every night after college for six weeks and offering me lifts home and following me a little and I'm tempted to get back together. His class coincides with mine. Everyone else I know though is warning about this and calling him a stalker. I still love him though and I think this is his way of showing me how he feels. I have college once a week. What do you think please? Love DLD x
bessieboo Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 I would say make up your mind quickly! If you don't want to be with him and it's over for good, make it clear to him, you will have to have the guts to let him hate you. And if you do want to get back together you should and stop putting him through the misery. If you want to be with him, you shouldn't listen to what other people are saying about him. If you've already been together, you should know his personality. I know it's hard to break up with someone, especially if the haven't taken it too well, but you need to think about why you ended it in the first place
Author Dear Lady Disdain Posted November 9, 2007 Author Posted November 9, 2007 Thank you bessieboo...I do want to get back together with him really. It's just fear stopping me because he was a bit of a committment-phobe and wasn't over his ex before. But I guess I'm not likely to be rejected judging by his behaviour. I am quite upset that everyone is calling him a creepy stalker now. Thank you so much for your reply. Love x
sedgwick Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 I totally agree with Bessie. If he's not doing anything seriously scary (like following you everywhere you go and emailing and calling you all the time), I wouldn't call him a stalker, I'd call him someone who's trying to show you he's committed. If you want to get back together with him, stop torturing him already! Tell him exactly why you're concerned about getting back together with him, see what he says, and if you're satisfied with the answer, go for it!
Author Dear Lady Disdain Posted November 9, 2007 Author Posted November 9, 2007 Thank you for your kind reply. I don't mean to torture him, it's just I am scared of opening up to him. I'm scared of getting hurt. But I would love to be with him again. I am sending him this email:Hi there...(name followed by pic of star) thanks for a nice drive - your new car's a beauty. See you next tuesday x Does this sound okay. Then we can maybe reconcile...or maybe looking forward to seeing you on tueday? x
bessieboo Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 I would say these 'friends' are probably more jelous than anything else, otherwise I'm not too sure why they would be conserned. I mean it doesn't sound as if he's doing anything than anyone else suffering from a broken heart hasn't done before him. If you are going to back with him it might be an idea to start off slowly, allowing you and him some time to adjust to be back in the relationship. Hope everything works out ok
Spinderella Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Before you send the email, ask yourself why you think people could be warning you against him. What reasons could they have for this? Do these people know any better, or less well than the people whose advice you just so readily took? Do you know the answers better than anyone?
sedgwick Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 I think that email sounds just fine. And heh, name followed by a star.
Author Dear Lady Disdain Posted November 9, 2007 Author Posted November 9, 2007 Thank you everyone...he didn't treat me well before but he appears to be trying to show me he has changed his ways (also I pushed him away a little myself - I have intimacy issues) and I'm thinking maybe I should give him a chance. He has a reputation around the college a bit but I don't really believe in judging people according to hearsay and rumours x
Spinderella Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Thank you everyone...he didn't treat me well before but he appears to be trying to show me he has changed his ways (also I pushed him away a little myself - I have intimacy issues) and I'm thinking maybe I should give him a chance. He has a reputation around the college a bit but I don't really believe in judging people according to hearsay and rumours x How is he showing you he has changed? Do you think people change rapidly? How do you believe in judging people?
Author Dear Lady Disdain Posted November 9, 2007 Author Posted November 9, 2007 Hi Spinderella... I know you are concerned from my previous post and I would write a lot more and answer all these questions but unfortunately I have to go out to work any minute now! I will write back more on this thread later on. Love DLD x
Spinderella Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Did you send the email though or are you going to wait?
Author Dear Lady Disdain Posted November 9, 2007 Author Posted November 9, 2007 I'm waiting...still a bit doubtful! It's stored in hotmail...better not send it by accident x
Spinderella Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Good, wait until you are certain before making any decision.
Author Dear Lady Disdain Posted November 9, 2007 Author Posted November 9, 2007 Yeah...the email was composed three days ago and still haven't sent it! x
Author Dear Lady Disdain Posted November 9, 2007 Author Posted November 9, 2007 Hi everyone... I sent the email to him because I am curious to see what will happen next and what the outcome will be. I suppose its a form of testing him... I might be able to decipher more about how he feels. I can handle the rejection should one come because there are some other guys I know who are interested in me. I just feel sorry for the guy in a way because he seems to have all the traits of BPD like me. And maybe I have been cruel keeping him on a string for all these weeks... I am prepared to handle any outcome. Should the outcome not be good I will just move on... Spinderella...I will answer your questions - I would be grateful for your insight. Thank you everyone Love DLD x
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