Author hopeforlove243 Posted November 12, 2007 Author Posted November 12, 2007 Hi Carrot, I understand what you say, that if he wants to be my friend, he should be ok regardless if I transfer my money somewhere else or not, and I agree with that 100%. I am not using my money to 'buy' him, not at all, but like I said, it is hard to move your money (btw, I am not rich, just a typical mid-class American has some savings after years of hard working) to a random financial adviser. You can see I am actually taking responsibility for my money, otherwise, when I was so upset and angry at him, I could just do it, but I don't think that will do me any good. I am confused now.
carrotgirl Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Hope, I'm not suggesting you're buying your ex at all, rather that it seems you're inadvertently devaluing yourself and what I want for you is to be valued far above $$. Regarding your savings, they're yours to do with as you see fit of course. Just know that your ex has a fiduciary duty to act in YOUR best interest. This includes your "perception" of your best interest. Your ex most likely took one or more legally binding oaths requiring him to avoid conflicts of interest (personal and professional) with regard to advising/managing your (the client) investment. That your ex made a display of any hostility regarding your request to change management of your account, whether within his company or not, should be a very big warning sign to you that he is NOT acting solely with your best interests in mind. Or less mildly, he isn't conducting business ethically. Any solid professional would have found a colleague to take over your account given the situation and your request. Don't be confused. This is blatant disregard for your best interest. Ask some other professionals in the finance industry their thoughts on the situation. Or maybe someone here can give advice from a professional point of view.... Carrot
Capricciosa Posted November 12, 2007 Posted November 12, 2007 Buddhists are weirdos. Be glad you dodged that bullet. Look at it that way and move on to a nonweirdo. This is small-minded and offensive. If someone said that about Christians, there would be armageddon on this board. Have some respect for other beliefs. Even if you don't understand them. And on the subject of the post--religious beliefs & sex life/style are pretty important to a relationship for some people. He is obviously one of them and he has told you he doesn't want to wait for change. He obviously thought about it, and told you the truth as he sees it. Not sure what to say about fashion choices, but I guess that's the easiest to amend, and would bring you to 75%, which is respectable. Looks to me like he is just looking for an out though at this point.
Author hopeforlove243 Posted November 12, 2007 Author Posted November 12, 2007 Your ex most likely took one or more legally binding oaths requiring him to avoid conflicts of interest (personal and professional) with regard to advising/managing your (the client) investment. That your ex made a display of any hostility regarding your request to change management of your account, whether within his company or not, should be a very big warning sign to you that he is NOT acting solely with your best interests in mind. Or less mildly, he isn't conducting business ethically. I see what you are saying now. He thinks he will still do his best to take care of my money even though I am not his girlfriend. Because we share very similar view about investment/where market goes etc, it probably is harder for him to accept the idea that he can't manage my money anymore, he gets upset when he loses any of his clients(it happened before, I know, and I saw his reaction), he is a very sensitive guy. I think he did say "It's your money, you decide what do you want to do" at the end of that conversation, but he was very mad/sad, and I was sad too, so... My thought is that if I can handle being his friend, I'd rather have him to manage my money, I do trust him, and he would explain his every move in details to me, which is way better than a lots of other advisers (I had one before I transfered my money to my ex, that guy didn't tell me much at all regarding about why he is buying those funds, and he didn't review my account every 6 months as he should, basically, he invested at the beginning, then, no changes at all after that). At this time, I still don't know if I can be his friend yet.
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