loquaciousl Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Hi there. I would like clarity please!! BF and I broke up two weeks ago. We dated for 5 months and at the beginning things were great (as they always are)....then we started arguing about petty things. We were also long distance (110 miles) away but saw each other every weekend. His biggest issue with me became the fact that I am overly emotional at times and have abandonment issues, but I was working on them. My biggest issue with him was that he lived at home (he's 34 and has been there a year after his divorce) and he smoked way too much weed (which he started smoking more towards the end of our relationship, that I noticed). Anyhow, he had been acting distant as of late but I thought we were just having problems (other things in our respective lives) that were getting us down. He told he me he loved me and we were just going through a hard time. I loved him very much myself. Two weeks ago I arrive home to find an EMAIL on m.s. from him breaking up with me. He said he had fallen out of love with me and couldnt see me as his one. After a few shocked and painful convos with him I told him I needed a few days to separate myself from this situation, as I didn't want to break up with him but wouldn't beg for him to be in my life as my BF. I was pissed that he broke up with me that way and even more pissed when I found out he had felt that way for TWO months and didn't tell me....he said he "tried". So he kept me as his "friend" on m.s. (This is where the story is petty.) After a few days I deleted him because it was just too hard for me to be demoted if you will. I recv a text from him getting upset and telling me he wished we could be friends. I told him I didn't want to be his ms friend. But after a thought, I added him back. Then last week, I just finally got so tired of feeling bad, I was getting more mad about everything, and the reality of what happened hit me. I decided the best thing would be to delete him, for good. Then, I get a really nasty text yesterday saying something to the effect of, "You deleted me again. Hate me if it makes you feel better, it sucks youre so negative about this. And if it's so easy for you to be this way, you never loved me in the first place." That, my friends, fully sucked. So, in anger I sent him a detailed email stating I thought it was dumb that he was bent out of shape about being "friends" on m.s. and that he didn't respect me enough to pick up the phone. Although I wasn't nasty, I was angry about it. I feel so hurt. And sad, now. My friends tell me he's an a-hole for saying that. But why does he want to contact me and why did he say such hurtful things? Was I wrong here? Help. I don't want to get back with him, I just want to feel better.
sedgwick Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Oh my god. He's being really clueless. You don't tell someone who loves you that you don't love them and then get all bent out of shape because they're doing what they need to do to heal from that. I mean, if he doesn't love you, why is it such a big deal to him to be your online friend? This is a guy who dumped you by email. EMAIL!!! That's almost as cowardly as dumping you by text. You owe him nothing. Don't answer...let him wonder why! Just so you know, someone did the same thing to me after the same amount of time, and it sucked. Anyone who breaks up by email is a major chickensh*t. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but seriously, if he can't even speak to you about it on the phone, he has no right to communicate with you further. You aren't the one being unreasonable here. He is...I promise.
Author loquaciousl Posted November 9, 2007 Author Posted November 9, 2007 Thank you for telling me that...I already responded to him yesterday and laid into him....I feel sh**y about it because I let my anger get the best of me. I think he feels guilty and just wants me to get over things. He told me he doesn't understand why I'm angry which I find unbelievable....thanks again for your support!!
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