finallyhappyme Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Re-cap: I had a HS sweetheart. He had commitment issues so I left. Started dating my ex for 3 years. HS sweetheart popped up out of nowhere during 2nd year when ex and I were on break because ex didn't appreciate me. I hooked up with HS sweetheart during this time. Then left him cold and go back with ex. 3rd year ex and I not working out, I think it's due to things that may never change so I leave him and start dating HS swweetheart again. Recently told HS sweetheart I can't date him because I still love my ex. Then I realized I'm a nutcase like most of you are thinking and I'm to this point: So I finally told HS sweetheart that I loved him but I was not in love with him. He flipped out and got emotional and angry. Understandable. Worst is that he said he would wait forever and that he could take me leaving him a million times. That he loved me that much. But he told me that as for right now it hurt too much and told me if I truly cared for him I would not contact him for a long time. I promised. So HS sweetheart and I are on NC. NOW EX & I: So in the midst of my drama Ex and I exchanged e-mails about the things that went wrong in our relationship. I finally opened up my heart and soul and told him EXACTLY how I felt about everything. I was expecting denial back and more blame flipped on me but instead I have gotten the opposite. THIS has messed me up really bad. I really had it engraved in my head that I was leaving for good because no matter how many times I tried he would not admit that he was to blame for a lot of our problems. But now he's apologizing for everything and saying that he finally understands and that he will work on all of it. He apologized and told me how happy he was that I opened his eyes because he was blilnd. The last text he sent me was that he loved me, I owned his heart and that he would make me proud. ??? ( make me proud or another girl in the future?) So we left it at that I didn't call and he didn't call. I told HS I couldn't date him anymore and then yesterday i got the text from my ex saying : He texted me that he remembered I had a doctors appt and that he knew I hated going alone that would I mind if he went along? I really did hate going along and we weren't on bad terms really since the e-mails so I said ok. I showed up at his house and the last time he didnt want anybody to see us. This time his brother was home and he let me come in and his bother and I chatted briefly. We spent the day so happy yet acting like if we were back together ( holding hands, kissing, hugging ) then we returned to his place and yes ( we had I-HAVE-MISSED-YOU-SO-DAMN-MUCH-SEX ) he walked me to my car kissed me deeply and said he loved me and closed the door, then I left and went to work. No one brought up the relationship we just kinda pretended like everything was cool. NOW IT SUCKS! I left work yesterday and he never called, didn't call at night, hasn't called all day today. I know I need to be alone and we BOTH have things we need to work on but I feel that knowing what we know now and if we are both wiling to work on those things we could have something beautiful. Thing is throughout conversation that day at the docs he made it clear that he was having fun, that he had plans this weekend with the guys and he seemed completely unaffected by our breakup. No hint of working it out or anything He did say if I didnt have plans for Thanksgiving that I was welcome to go to his familys house. ?? So I'm confused..I dunno if to say something, let it ride out, have patience and wait for him to day something, continue acting like friends, I DUNNO??? I'm so confused and he hasnt called I dunno if to do NC on him until he breaks and wnats to work it out?? Because honestly I can't keep having sex or pretending like everything is ok. I DON"T want to rush back into a relationship with him..but knowing that we were on the course to 'working things out' and 'not having sex with other people' would really calm me down. But i don't know how to ask him or bring this up?
Author finallyhappyme Posted November 8, 2007 Author Posted November 8, 2007 :bunny:Bumpity bump before I leave work..
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