Ashbash11 Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 I have to say, I finally took the advice of people here and I started no contact with my ex-boyfriend... it's been a week and I'm still going strong! It's been hard, because we have this unhealthy, addictive relationship and he's already called me several times, but I just didn't answer the phone... (we've been broken up for 2 years, btw....) I finally came to my senses and realized that I am never going to get what I want out of this guy. He was never in love with me, and he never will be. He doesn't want a relationship with me, so I need to move on. I still have feelings for him and I have suffered long enough trying to be his "friend" for the past couple of years.... I'm finally setting myself free!!!! It's quite exhilirating... I guess my only question is, what do you all do when you start to crave contact with your ex? What if you start to miss them? How do you stay busy?? I need some suggestions, so I can keep this going... !!!
wowIlose Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 I stop and talk to myself. No matter what I tell myself that calling is only going to temporarly relieve me of any sorrow, and after that its going to get worse. We've only been broken up 3 months but I am now at almost 2 weeks NC, that includes msn, text or anything. I have even blocked her on my msn so she can't see me online. Shes still on my facebook but in a couple weeks I'll faze her out of there too. So yea, NC is the only way your going to move on. So when you get the urge to call just ask yourself if you wanna feel this way forever.. cuz if you keep contacting him thats what will happen. Good job on finally realizing for yourself tho. Just stay strong!
bustertypsy Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 NC,NC,NC,it's the only way to go. No matter how much you want to contact your ex do not do it. Of course if you want them to know that you are weak and can't live without them,then excuse me,get on the phone right now and tell them this. No seriously,by making contact only shows them that you are a mere morsel of pity without them. Wouldn't it be better if they stopped hearing from you? Imagine when they don't get that I.M.,that E Mail,that text msg,that drunken phone call....imagine!! They begin to wonder,they begin to doubt,they begin to get curious about you.Sounds good,doesn't it!?!Well no contact never brought an ex back that had lost their feeling for their partner,but it DID bring back an ex that split from the person they still love. Not only did they come back,but they came back with newfound respect for the time and space given to them while they were apart.Not a bad start for a reunion,don't you think??So,no matter what your goal,NC will not disappoint Oh...love... You say in love there are no rules Oh...love... Sweetheart, You're so cruel (Bono)
kittensmittens Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Not sure if I'm in the position to offer advice on what to do when you crave contact, since I've certainly been there (and probably will be again)....but one thing that has helped me a tiny bit is looking at past patterns--realizing they ARE patterns. It's easy to want it BECAUSE it's the pattern, but to look back at a long history of the same thing happening over and over and over again---only to land you in the same place you were years ago---makes you stop and think. It makes you realize, if it doesn't end NOW....when will it end? I don't know if that makes any sense or helps any, but that's all I got! I also try to remind myself that comfort and happiness aren't always the same thing. : / Imagine when they don't get that I.M.,that E Mail,that text msg,that drunken phone call....imagine!! They begin to wonder,they begin to doubt,they begin to get curious about you.Sounds good,doesn't it!?!Well no contact never brought an ex back that had lost their feeling for their partner,but it DID bring back an ex that split from the person they still love. Not only did they come back,but they came back with newfound respect for the time and space given to them while they were apart.Not a bad start for a reunion,don't you think??So,no matter what your goal,NC will not disappoint Aw, dang. I wish I hadn't emailed him back.
Author Ashbash11 Posted November 9, 2007 Author Posted November 9, 2007 Thanks for your responses, guys. Yes, I agree. If it doesn't stop now, when will it EVER stop? The cycle will just keep repeating itself over and over and over again... my other question was, what happens when he gets a new girlfriend? How am I going to feel as the ex who can't let go? I'll look even more pathetic... As hard as it is to maintain, NC is definitely the way to go.
wowIlose Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 beat him to the punch and get a new boyfriend But seriously, as hard is it seems, what he does now is irrelevant. Of course its difficult to not think when you been with someone for a while but in all honesty we only ever have two options, both involve pain. Out of sight out of mind.
Surfer Girl Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 What do you do when you crave him.... Remember.... Doing the same thing is going to bring you the same results.... It becomes a pattern... I want you, I don't want you..... Do it different this time.... Will make a difference in your life.... You seem to want to move on.... NC is the only way.... Think about you... if you want it to be different you will.....
Scorpio13c Posted November 10, 2007 Posted November 10, 2007 I have to say, I finally took the advice of people here and I started no contact with my ex-boyfriend... it's been a week and I'm still going strong! It's been hard, because we have this unhealthy, addictive relationship and he's already called me several times, but I just didn't answer the phone... (we've been broken up for 2 years, btw....) I finally came to my senses and realized that I am never going to get what I want out of this guy. He was never in love with me, and he never will be. He doesn't want a relationship with me, so I need to move on. I still have feelings for him and I have suffered long enough trying to be his "friend" for the past couple of years.... I'm finally setting myself free!!!! It's quite exhilirating... I guess my only question is, what do you all do when you start to crave contact with your ex? What if you start to miss them? How do you stay busy?? I need some suggestions, so I can keep this going... !!! Holly cow Ash! i can hardly believe you stayed in contact with him for 2 years since your breakup. There should be somekind of L S "Medal of Valour" given to you for enduring that long. I think you'll do just fine maintaining NC, as i think you've finally come to your breaking point. I wish you lots of support! Scorp
Author Ashbash11 Posted November 11, 2007 Author Posted November 11, 2007 Yes, I know. 2 years of contact with the ex... masochistic? nah.. of course not! Coincidentally, I was doing amazingly well with the NC until this weekend. I ran INTO my ex boyfriend TWICE! And we live in Boston, of all places. The whole gigantic city, and we STILL ran into each other! Soo, I had to talk to him. Does this mean that I broke NC? I guess under these circumstances, maybe not. It was fun, because when I saw him, he started demanding why I hadn't returned his phone calls last week and "what is going on?" *must* *keep* *going* *with* *no* *contact!*
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