tegragirl Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 my boyfriend and i have been dating for a year and six months, we also lived together with my son from a previous realationship.We had what i thought was a minor fight, and he decided he need time apart for us to grow. He is now living with his brother, im heart broken i feel he was my soul mate, and i really dont see why he felt he needed to leave. he says he still loves me but he will need time to think things out, more than 6 months. I feel i cant wait that long, he wont listen to me when i try to talk to him, hes full of anger. what can i do? its hurting me to wait for him to call. how long should i wait or should i give up? im alone and dont have any family close. i need some advice Link to post Share on other sites
LondonChick Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 About 6 months to think about the relationship? It sounds like your boyfriend does not want to be 'tied down'. I'm sorry, but he sounds very selfish. Maybe I'm wrong, but if he wanted to continue a relationship with you he would have sat down with you and talked through your problem. But judging by his reaction he doesnt want to do that, he probably wanted to leave anyway, and the minor disagreement was used as an excuse. Dont sit around waiting for him to call. You need to get on with your own life not just for you, but for your child too. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 Don't wait a minute for him to call. A guy who wants six months off from a relationship does so to get on with his life. A person who cares about another works things about without getting so angry and he doesn't need space from someone he loves. This will be a losing proposition for you. You don't need a guy who pulls away like this after what you perceived was a minor argument. He has some serious underlying issues and you don't need to be a part of them. You are officially a free lady. Heal from this and go find yourself a MAN, not somebody who needs a half a year to "grow" up! Link to post Share on other sites
Carly Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 In your post you mention your son as if he's just a little fixture that has nothing to do with your concerns. Lady, it's your son who you should be concerned about, not yourself. You have a son from one realtionship, then you're living with the type of guy who bolts at the drop of a hat. And you are writing us for advice about him?! I have infinitely more concern for your child than for you or your weasle ex-boyfriend. Here is my take: You have two big problems that require attention: 1) Poor judgement in men. 2) Little regard for the well-being of your son. Your son needs a mother who is more concerned about her son's emotional welfare than her next guy. By allowing someone to live with you and your son, you have opened up the door for your son to become attached to a father figure, a love figure for mom, and all the hope (in this case FALSE hope) for security that come from it. When your guy walked out for "six months to think" he committed a form of abandonment that could be very hurtful for your son -- particulalry if he was already abandonded in any way by his real dad. For the sake of your son, I hope that you will not allow another irresponsible louse to shack up with you and bring false hopes to your dear, vulnerable son. If however you find someone who is mature, committed, emotionally and financially responsible, and willing to be a real husband to you AND a loving father figure to your son, then great. Otherwise, rent a good kiddy movie with your son, make some popcorn, and focus on creating a loving and secure life with just the two of you. Link to post Share on other sites
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