GetdownNY Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 I joined this forum not too long ago. Not sure if I need to break down my story again so I won't go into great detail. So yeah like the subject/title says. Some of my friends, one being my best friend, are celebrating their birthday together with my ex girlfriend's birthday. I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but we share alot of the same friends. Even though we share the same friends, many of them believe this breakup is better for me. She didn't really reciprocate the love and effort I put into the relationship especially the 2nd half to tail end of the relationship. I was pretty worn out from all the stress of trying to make things work. My friends also believe the break would be good for her so she can figure out some personal things in her life and learn how to be independant. The last couple weeks been tough because I heard that she's already seeing someone new. This totally confuses me because the last time we talked, she told me she was second guessing things. Thought I'd run into her eventually but so far I haven't. Thought I'd see her at a Halloween party but she didn't swing by. I know I will have to see her soon at the upcoming multiple birthday party. There's a great chance he'll be there. Why wouldn't he? They have been hanging out alot (supposingly.) Plus, it's her birthday. I want to be there. I want to support my best friend. I also want to see for myself if it is true. I want to see this new dude and what he's all about. I don't know why, maybe it'll help me get over her faster or piss me off so much I'll stop wanting to be with her. I know I still love her. It's been really painful. Been crying all week. This is the most emotional I think I have ever been. Not sure how I'm going to react. Have you ever been in this situation before? What's the best way to handle it?
sedgwick Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 DON'T GO to the party! Trust me, you don't want to see them together, it will only set you back. Offer to take your friend out for lunch, or give him a gift, but explain to him that you don't feel ready to attend the party. I cannot even imagine seeing my ex and his new girl at a party. It would set me back all the way to the beginning.
heartoutside Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 I disagree, kind of. I'm not sure how long ago you two broke up, but it seems like it's still very fresh. Basically you can go or you can not. If you go, you know she'll be there, this "new guy" if he exists MAY be there. If you have to also be prepared to talk to either of them and be confident in how you react. I went through something very similar. Went to a halloween party 2 weeks ago and my ex showed up with her new BF. They basically stayed on the other side of the room all night, and she ended up texting me in the middle of the party telling me to "say hi" and her BF at one point tried joking around with me like we were Best Friends. I ignored both of them the whole night, and didn't say a word to either. It sucked, it really sucked. And the next few days I was in the gutter, but at the same time, I think it helped me let go a little more. It didn't bring me back to the beginning, not even close, but it did take me down a rung or two for a few days, and then I came back stronger. But again, it's all about the individual and how you handle your reaction and emotion. I actually may have to see them both again this friday at my friends b-day party. And I would be lying if I didn't say I've thought about not going. I still don't know if I'll go....
heartoutside Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 I forgot to add, if you do go and they are both there don't go out of your way to talk to them. But if you happen to run into either of them, just say hi and walk away, don't start a conversation... I didn't say anything to either my ex or her BF because neither of them came up to me, and I wasn't going to go out of my way to say hi to them. And when she sent the text telling me to say hi, I felt there was no need to even acknowledge their presence. I hope things are different for you.
CaliGuy Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 I forgot to add, if you do go and they are both there don't go out of your way to talk to them. But if you happen to run into either of them, just say hi and walk away, don't start a conversation... I didn't say anything to either my ex or her BF because neither of them came up to me, and I wasn't going to go out of my way to say hi to them. And when she sent the text telling me to say hi, I felt there was no need to even acknowledge their presence. I hope things are different for you. I agree, return the greeting but don't go out of your way to talk to either of them. The point you want to make is that you're fine and they don't bother you. Never let them see you sweat. Even better, if you go to the party, bring a date
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