corazoncito Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Oppath, I understand where you're coming from in a lot of your doubts. I just finished a PhD and I'm also in a field where you don't have the luxury of picking where you live because jobs are not abundant. Based on my experience, and my friends who've finished up their PhDs, that last year or so is really turbulent and stressful. It's a culmination of so much work on your part, conflicting feelings about really wanting to get it right vs. just getting it done so you can move on with your life, and so many uncertainties about the future, particularly if you have to go where the jobs are. Trying to start a new relationship when you're in that transitional phase isn't a good idea if you have to force it. I've seen several long-term relationships implode when one of the people involved reached the point where you're at. It's sort of a "do or die" period for an individual on so many levels, personal and professional. I'm sure your GF is all that you say she is, kind, intelligent, motivated. A good person. But that doesn't automatically make her the right person for you. It really doesn't sound like your heart is in it. That doesn't make you a bad person. Don't try to force a connection you aren't truly feeling. IMO, this doesn't sound like the right person. It also sounds like you are in a period where you're not ready for a committed LTR. That doesn't mean you never will be. It's just not the right moment now.
Author oppath Posted November 9, 2007 Author Posted November 9, 2007 corazoncito, I think you hit it on the head. It is a very uncertain time in my life, and in some ways, I need that support, but for everyone here who says "you are finding reasons not to" in some ways, I feel like I would be forcing myself to do it, just to do it. Maybe I'm resisting, but I honestly feel like I would be forcing myself. It is a do or die time with me, or I am about to enter that phase. I have the time, even the most hard pressed phd dissertation will still give time for a relationship, it's more the mental efforts.
stillafool Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Wow, seems this thread got hijacked!!!:confused:
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