loripuff Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Hey everybody, I've still not come to terms with today's events. My MM crush who has been coming onto me for the last month just dropped a huge bomb on me. A little over a week ago, I decided to cool things off because he is married and I work with him. Today, he snuck up behind me, touched my neck, and started to ask me questions about my work schedule....I wasnt' really sure what he was getting at, but I wasn't prepared for what he was going to say and ask. I asked him why he wanted to know about my schedule. He told he his wife is 5 weeks pregnant and that SHE requested that I be her doctor. What the hell am I gonna do about this? I can't be her physician. It's totally inappropriate. Do I just come out and tell him that I cannot in good conscience take his wife as a patient because of my feelings for him? It would be admitting openly whatever is going on between us and I was hoping to just let it cool down. I keep going over in my head, could I have been wrong about his behavior toward me, but I'm actually kinda dense about man/woman thing and NEVER know when there is something brewing, but with this guy, it was different. I know that if his wife knew how he was with me, she would be upset. What do I do???? This is SO crazy. I need help.
crazy_grl Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Can't you just say you don't feel comfortable being her doctor? Do you need to give him a reason?
indianlover Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Just tell him you prefer not to take on friends as clients - I would hope he'd get the hint and backdown
Author loripuff Posted November 8, 2007 Author Posted November 8, 2007 The unfortunate thing is that he knows I've had several friends and co-workers as patients, do special requests, and even worse, I took care of his wife about two years ago so we have an established relationship. It's hard to cease care with an established patient. It would require me to explain myself and find her an alternative physician. Is there anything I can say to him so that he discourages her from continuing on as my patient?
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Wow, he's quite the prize. He's got himself a newly pregnant wife at home and he's sleazing it up at work trying to get laid. Guess he can't use the lie they all use - that he's not having sex with his wife. How can you even RESPECT someone this low?
frannie Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Just tell him you would not feel comfortable doing that, and you hope he understands. End of conversation, and you don't need to give him any explanations.
Lyssa Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 You've got your hands full, no slot for anyone at the moment or yeah, just tell him you're NOT comfortable.
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 He thinks that by being her doctor, he will have plenty of excuses to "consult" with you.
Author loripuff Posted November 8, 2007 Author Posted November 8, 2007 Good input guys....making me even MORE thrilled that I resisted the urge to jump in his pants. So much for the NICE guy I thought he was.
child_of_isis Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 I would be very very careful if I were you. If his W is an "established patient", you are treading on dangerous ground. I would drop the crush...like yesterday. This is all so wrong. Wrong wrong wrong.....! Don't let this freak warp your head like this. Earth calling loripuff...... The unfortunate thing is that he knows I've had several friends and co-workers as patients, do special requests, and even worse, I took care of his wife about two years ago so we have an established relationship. It's hard to cease care with an established patient. It would require me to explain myself and find her an alternative physician. Is there anything I can say to him so that he discourages her from continuing on as my patient?
child_of_isis Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 The thought of you even having to resist is the scary part. You have to refocus. This MM is not a colleague....this is a patient's husband we are talking about....you do understand the vulnerable position that you will be putting yourself in if you carry on with this fantasy? A BS and an ethics committee would destroy you. Good input guys....making me even MORE thrilled that I resisted the urge to jump in his pants. So much for the NICE guy I thought he was.
Gwyneth Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Oh wow...this is like dysfunctional. He must not be all that bright to ask you, the woman he cheated on his wife with (?) to be the doctor for his pregnant wife. What a loser is right! If my MM EVER did anything like this, I think I'd kick him in the balls and make him sterile. What balls this guy has! Definitely go with "NO" as your answer. It's not fair at all to the wife and baby, or YOU!
child_of_isis Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 My first thought was...... he getting off on the thought of his lover "examining" his wife. snickersnort.
Author loripuff Posted November 9, 2007 Author Posted November 9, 2007 Dear Child of Isis, Trust me when I say, I'm as disgusted as you are with his behavior, I have not and will not have a physical relationship with me, and I didn't know she was his wife at the time and I only saw her once. The only reason I knew this was he told me today that I had seen her before. I didn't recall it. In no way would I EVER be involved in such an egregious ethical violation.
Lyssa Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Have you told him that you are not interested in becoming his W's physician?
whichwayisup Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Ignore him. I hope you end the friendship completely now. If she calls you and asks you to be her Dr, just tell her you're not taking any new patients then maybe recommend someone else for her.
whichwayisup Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 I know that if his wife knew how he was with me, she would be upset. OFCOURSE she would be upset and probably SICKENED by this too. I'm not too sure of your situation and how serious your A is with him, but I hope you now see him in a different light and end it. I mean, she is 5 weeks pregnant, and he isn't leaving her...What is the point of having the A with a man who is about to become a father. It's just sick, wrong and inappropriate behaviour of him, and for you, well, I hope you have some empathy for her and give him the boot, end it the A and never look back.
PoshPrincess Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Lori, I don't think you owe him an explanation. If he has any sense he will know exactly why you don't want to be his Ws physician. It's totally inappropriate. And if his W wants to know why, let him explain it to her!
child_of_isis Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Okay, we agree that his behavior is/was disgusting....but who even cares? He is pond scum..he is nothing in the big picture. But what concerns me is that you actually entertained the thought.... Let's not do that anymore.....MMMMMk?Dear Child of Isis, Trust me when I say, I'm as disgusted as you are with his behavior, I have not and will not have a physical relationship with me, and I didn't know she was his wife at the time and I only saw her once. The only reason I knew this was he told me today that I had seen her before. I didn't recall it. In no way would I EVER be involved in such an egregious ethical violation.
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