Feeling Really Unappreciated? Or are my expectations too high?

[gonetildecember]

Your first sentence is def true. During our talk last night, when I told him that I see his non-excitement, not taking initiative, etc as him not caring as much or not missing me as much.. he was shocked. And basically just said, he is just laid back, and knows that i'm "a planner" so usually just leaves it to me. I'm hoping that after bringing it up, he will keep it in mind and try to further his efforts.

 

With the driving thing, I drive and have a car...whereas he doesn't have one.. So I guess the fact that it's EASIER for me has prompted me to offer to do it more. He has offered to take the bus, but I have told him in the past I will drive. After that, he stopped offering.

 

Phone conversations are never really an issue. Because of the LDR we have a sort of pattern. He calls every night before bed, and sporadically there will be a call during the day from either of us..depending on what's going on....or if either of us are going out or so forth just as a consideration we will call to say we won't be able to make the night time call. Althought spontanaiety would be nice.. or getting out of the routine would be nice in terms of calls.. I won't complain about that..because that would be extra i think.

 

See the thing about plans.. is i'm totally satisfied chilling at home and hanging out...I'd just liek him to WANT to come see me or WANT me to go see him.. without me prompting him or feeling like I have to beg for him. I want him to want it as much as i do.

 

I do go out with friends, but then i tend to suffer too because our contact is only limited to weekends.. Maybe I just don't have strong enough willpower. If I pull back I don't see him as often, which is what i'm trying to get in the first place.. see what i mean?

 

LOL.. starbucks guy comment lol

[gonetildecember]

Thanks very much for the post.

 

 

I realise i've also been too available.. to giving.. so his effort level significantly diminshed.. I'm trying to figure out how I can not be so THERE to him.. so he works a bit for my attention..and doesn't just think that when he's available... then he can give me attention cuz i'm always around sort of thing. Keeping in mind that we are in a semi-LDR (every other weekends, around exams and other obligations)

 

 

Any ideas?

[Star Gazer]

I may have missed this, but how long have you been dating?

[gonetildecember]

Started dating the beginning of july... became exclusive beginning of august.