Sean0775 Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 So, I met a girl on a personals site and asked if she'd like to talk. After briefly exchanging messages, she gives me her phone number. Ugh, I was hoping for an IM name. Nothing is more awkward than talking on the phone the first time you're meeting someone. It's almost 9 o'clock here, so I should probably get to this pretty quick. If all else fails, she's a Christian who exercises and doesn't smoke while I'm an Agnostic who smokes and considers stocking shelves a couple times a week the only exercise I need. If it doesn't work out, I'll just blame that.
Author Sean0775 Posted November 8, 2007 Author Posted November 8, 2007 That went fairly well. We seemed to have a decent amount in common, and my filthy habit wasn't too much of a deal breaker. She seemed more concerned with whether I swear a lot and if I'd be willing to go to church with her should we start dating. Who knows, if that law goes into affect where a pack of smokes will cost like $9, I'll be quitting. As much as I hate wasting time in church, I could drag myself there once in a while if I was dating someone and just think of it as a really lame date. As for swearing, I say the F word about 93 times a night at work, but not really at all outside of work, so that won't be a problem. I suppose I'll keep updating this for anyone that might give a damn.
The Loacker Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Damn, you two haven't even gone out yet and you're already supplicating to her demands. You gotta have boundaries, man. You have to value yourself, and women respect that.
Author Sean0775 Posted November 8, 2007 Author Posted November 8, 2007 Damn, you two haven't even gone out yet and you're already supplicating to her demands. You gotta have boundaries, man. You have to value yourself, and women respect that. What exactly am I supplicating to and how exactly am I not valuing myself? I said during the conversation what I would be willing to do should a relationship blossom, but there's no way in hell I'd set foot in a church with her early on. As for quitting smoking, if the price goes up much I had planned to do so anyway.
The Loacker Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Well, if you don't want to go to Church with her, tell her. If you don't want to quit smoking, tell her. If you swear a lot and think it might come out when you're with her, tell her. I don't know how your conversation with her went, so maybe you didn't answer any of her questions, but don't give up your values (or make her think you will) just because you want to go out with this girl.
crazy_grl Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Did you ask her why it's important to her that you go to church when you don't follow the religion? I can only think of 2 reasons: 1. She wants you there to show people she's not single. 2. She's hoping you'll convert. If it's the second, you might be in for some relationship conflict.
Author Sean0775 Posted November 8, 2007 Author Posted November 8, 2007 Well, if you don't want to go to Church with her, tell her. If you don't want to quit smoking, tell her. If you swear a lot and think it might come out when you're with her, tell her. I don't know how your conversation with her went, so maybe you didn't answer any of her questions, but don't give up your values (or make her think you will) just because you want to go out with this girl. Well, she'd be giving up just as much since I wouldn't be adhering to her values completely, so I'd call it a compromise if anything. I've given up on finding someone who's everything I want in a woman out of the box because she doesn't exist. I'm ok with going to church once in a while as long as she's ok with me walking outside for a smoke.
Author Sean0775 Posted November 8, 2007 Author Posted November 8, 2007 Did you ask her why it's important to her that you go to church when you don't follow the religion? A female friend of mine tells me it's an acceptance thing. Basically, me accepting and respecting that she's a Christian, and I probably would only have to go a few times to show I'm ok with it unless she's really hardcore religious. If she's hardcore religious, it probably isn't going to work out since she'll probably want me to convert/rediscover my faith...which isn't happening.
crazy_grl Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 A female friend of mine tells me it's an acceptance thing. That might be true, but unless your friend has read the girl's mind, this is just an assumption. Not the same as asking her why she wants you to go. If I were you, I'd ask this girl about her expectations for her partner's religion, her experiences with dating people who aren't Christian, and all that.
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