What is going on with him??

[CAT100]

Ok this is going to be a bit long so apologies in advance.

As some of you may know, my MM is working abroad for a year & told me he'd be back every 3 weeks for 1 week to see me, and conduct business

Well I hadnt seen him for nearly 7 weeks (due to business problems he delayed coming back) yes I went mad, was very upset etc but thats over with now

 

Anyway he was back on ____day I met him at the airport & we spent the night together. Everything was fine.

 

Then he said he had a business meeting on __ afternoon and he was staying there 2 nights. We parted company ___ morning, he said he'd call later as his meeting was a long drive away. By the evening he hadnt called & I texted him saying 'Hey, hows it going, have you arrived yet? x' No reply. By about 10pm I still hadnt heard anything so I texted again, saying 'Are you ok, can you get in touch? x' and his phone was switched off! I went to bed pretty annoyed & upset, then woke up early in the morning & his phone was still off so in my anger & half asleep state I texted him 'Just woke up, I see you just switched your phone off without texting me goodnight & now Im laying here wondering why. Its not a nice feeling & Im wondering whats going on- why the silence.We've been together over years but you still feel its ok to know Im worried trying to reach you but you switch your phone off anyway! How do you think that makes me feel?'

 

He then called me that morning & was like 'You & I are going to have a falling out, I dont appreciate getting a text like that, I didnt have good reception, my battery went flat, I was really tired & went to bed, I shouldnt have to explain myself to you, why the interrogation, dont you trust me' and I said ' I didnt know you had problems with your phone, I do trust you but its not always easy, Im sorry about the text..' and was like 'Dont bother, you should back off, Im busy, Im working, maybe you'll understand when you actually get a job!!' and I said 'Fine, ok ill back off then' and then he said 'ill call you later bye' and hung up.

 

So I left him alone all day, didnt text or call, nothing.

Didnt hear from him all day, he texted ' Ill call you tomorrow' and then switched his phone off immediately!

He then called me this afternoon, said 'we need to talk, things are not good..' and I was really pissed because we were meant to be spending today & tonight & tomorrow daytime & night together. He said he wont meet me today because hes got work to do & 'want to calm down' so now I have to wait till tomorrow to see him!! Im so angry I just dont get it at all.

 

I know hes pissed I havent got a job yet (Ive been a full time student & finished my last exam a few weeks ago, but it takes time to get a job you know!) He also said he was annoyed at having to pay for everything all the time which I can understand, however he nearly went bankrupt a few years ago & I paid for everything such as our holiday, going out etc. He couldnt even afford to get me a Christmas present but I didnt mind. So its not like Ive always been financially dependent on him. I dont know why hes turned me sending him a pissed off text into having a massive go about unrelated issues! Is he gunning for an argument or what??

 

I dont know whats going on his head, please shed some light, I am really scared and angry at having to stew all day till I meet him tomorrow & also at the fact we had a really good few days planned for this week & now its all gone pear shaped

[quankanne]

I dont know whats going on his head,

 

sounds like maybe this time apart has given him a chance to reassess his priorities in his life, and your relationship is far down the list. Not trying to be mean here, but maybe this is your exit cue for a relationship that's not really going to go anywhere?

[LucreziaBorgia]

It sounds like he wants to end the affair, and is pulling out slowly.

[indianlover]

Ok this is going to be a bit long so apologies in advance.

As some of you may know, my MM is working abroad for a year & told me he'd be back every 3 weeks for 1 week to see me, and conduct business

Well I hadnt seen him for nearly 7 weeks (due to business problems he delayed coming back) yes I went mad, was very upset etc but thats over with now

 

Anyway he was back on ____day I met him at the airport & we spent the night together. Everything was fine.

 

Then he said he had a business meeting on __ afternoon and he was staying there 2 nights. We parted company ___ morning, he said he'd call later as his meeting was a long drive away. By the evening he hadnt called & I texted him saying 'Hey, hows it going, have you arrived yet? x' No reply. By about 10pm I still hadnt heard anything so I texted again, saying 'Are you ok, can you get in touch? x' and his phone was switched off! I went to bed pretty annoyed & upset, then woke up early in the morning & his phone was still off so in my anger & half asleep state I texted him 'Just woke up, I see you just switched your phone off without texting me goodnight & now Im laying here wondering why. Its not a nice feeling & Im wondering whats going on- why the silence.We've been together over years but you still feel its ok to know Im worried trying to reach you but you switch your phone off anyway! How do you think that makes me feel?'

 

He then called me that morning & was like 'You & I are going to have a falling out, I dont appreciate getting a text like that, I didnt have good reception, my battery went flat, I was really tired & went to bed, I shouldnt have to explain myself to you, why the interrogation, dont you trust me' and I said ' I didnt know you had problems with your phone, I do trust you but its not always easy, Im sorry about the text..' and was like 'Dont bother, you should back off, Im busy, Im working, maybe you'll understand when you actually get a job!!' and I said 'Fine, ok ill back off then' and then he said 'ill call you later bye' and hung up.

 

So I left him alone all day, didnt text or call, nothing.

Didnt hear from him all day, he texted ' Ill call you tomorrow' and then switched his phone off immediately!

He then called me this afternoon, said 'we need to talk, things are not good..' and I was really pissed because we were meant to be spending today & tonight & tomorrow daytime & night together. He said he wont meet me today because hes got work to do & 'want to calm down' so now I have to wait till tomorrow to see him!! Im so angry I just dont get it at all.

 

I know hes pissed I havent got a job yet (Ive been a full time student & finished my last exam a few weeks ago, but it takes time to get a job you know!) He also said he was annoyed at having to pay for everything all the time which I can understand, however he nearly went bankrupt a few years ago & I paid for everything such as our holiday, going out etc. He couldnt even afford to get me a Christmas present but I didnt mind. So its not like Ive always been financially dependent on him. I dont know why hes turned me sending him a pissed off text into having a massive go about unrelated issues! Is he gunning for an argument or what??

 

I dont know whats going on his head, please shed some light, I am really scared and angry at having to stew all day till I meet him tomorrow & also at the fact we had a really good few days planned for this week & now its all gone pear shaped

 

Well, I hope your MM isn't my MM (because that would explain why he's being cold)...Same profile - working abroad (outside of the UK) for a year or two - but he goes home less than once every three weeks. And he's wealthy so I don't think Xmas is a problem for him - but maybe it is with two kids in college and two mistresses. lol.

 

Anyway outside of the jokes - Usually a change in behavior indicates a change in situation. Like his marriage is going better. I would say just ask him, bit if he's anything like my MM he doesn't like to talk about these things. Anyway good luck!

[ICallsEmAsISeesEm]

Do you suppose Mr. Mid-Life Crisis has managed to SNOW yet another gullible college co-ed into being his playtoy, like he's done with you?

 

That's your history with this guy, correct? He LIED to you about being married and fooled you into thinking he was available and you started 'dating' him. You didn't find out til months down the road that the lying con man was married. I don't know WHY you insist on glossing over such a MAJOR MAJOR point in this so-called relationship, like it was simply a bump in the road. Anyone who starts right out the GATE lying isn't worth the powder to blow them up. If I remember, this guy is in his mid-to-late 40's as well. You don't see the cliche in all this? Mid-life crisis guy wanting to puff up his ego by conquering a young gal half his age? Sheesh.

 

No doubt, he's probably found another gullible young lady that he's lying to and telling he's single.

 

And quite honestly, who cares that this miscreant is angry that you haven't gotten a job? What a complete LOSER. The lying con man CONNED you from Day #1 so he could dip his wick in the Fountain of Youth (let's call a spade a spade here, shall we?) and then he has the NERVE to complain that he's had to spend MONEY on you?

 

Well, I guess a selfish lying pig like this WOULD also expect his concubine to start spending money on him. People like this need to be locked away from society, not adored by young ladies who don't know any better.

 

And you stay with this creep because....why?????

[frannie]

... quite honestly, who cares that this miscreant is angry that you haven't gotten a job? What a complete LOSER. The lying con man CONNED you from Day #1 so he could dip his wick in the Fountain of Youth (let's call a spade a spade here, shall we?) and then he has the NERVE to complain that he's had to spend MONEY on you?

 

I have to say my blood was boiling while I read your post, cat, and what ICEAISE wrote above pretty much sums up what I was going to write... only I'd have put it more politely of course. Even so... it's spot on.

 

This bit really annoyed me too:

 

"I shouldn't have to explain myself to you... don't you trust me?"

 

Where shall I start..? Oh never mind. How the hell can he talk to you like that!? And no, why the devil would you trust him?! Grrrr no wonder you're mad!

[Lyssa]

'Dont bother, you should back off, Im busy, Im working, maybe you'll understand when you actually get a job!!' and I said 'Fine, ok ill back off then' and then he said 'ill call you later bye' and hung up.

 

Wow. Unbelievable!! He doesn't even try to understand your situation!

[2sunny]

he's positioning himself to break it off with you.

 

he pick a fight on purpose so he could point the finger and blame everything on you. you are probably making too many demands for all the women he is trying to juggle.

 

what an *********... find a man that will treat you with respect... an available man.

[lonegal]

Have to agree with others on this one. Not being mean, but seems like He is trying to push you over the cliff so you'll probably snap and make it easier in ending the A. He is laying the groundwork for something. Can't add anything more except good luck and hopefully everything will turn out better for you.

[whichwayisup]

I agree with everyone else, he's being jerkish and it's intentional. He's preparing you for what's coming, even though he's doing it in a cruel way..

 

You might feel better if you end it first, for your own sake.