starlite Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 Well, It has been a month since the break up. I am SO much better than I thought I would be and maybe I am speaking to soon...but whatever if I am. I think what is really helping me is that I have accepted that fact that we didnt work together. I understand it. And I also realized I deserve better than him. I think all these factors are what I need. I went 2 non-dates (non dates because I am not ready to date!!). First one was 2 weeks ago...I cried on the way home after kissing him. I wasnt where I am now. Then I went on one last night. I liked this guy. We kissed too and it felt GREAT! Who knows what the future will hold, all i know is I feel happy for often then feeling sad. I knew we needed to break up for a while. It must be for the best!
Twirley Girl Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 I LOVE that you have non-dates! I do too. In fact I'm hoping to have one sometime next week. The beauty of the non date is that they allow your gut to see if you've progressed as far as you think you have. The "cry all the way home" is never good. The "I DID like kissing him is great!" Congrats to you. I hope to be as positive as you in a month.
Author starlite Posted November 8, 2007 Author Posted November 8, 2007 It really is a matter of understanding why you broke up, and accepting it. Accepting it is HUGE! Doesnt mean you have to get over it completely, but come to grips with the fact that in the long run, the relationship wasnt going to work out AND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND AND AND you deserve somone who treats you the way you treat them!!!! I get it! He was not the man for me. I can not accept a liar in my life. I can not accept someone who wants to go out until 3 am during the week and I also cant accept someone who doesnt understand where his loyalties lie. As much as I loved him, it doesnt matter anymore. We have parted, I know why, and it is time to move on and be happy living MY life. The non-dates are nice. The guy I liked kissing, is coming over tonight He called me yesterday to let me know he had a nice time the other night. It feels really nice. Who knows where it will go, right now it doesnt really matter...but who knows.
Msblueyes Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 It really is a matter of understanding why you broke up, and accepting it. Accepting it is HUGE! Doesnt mean you have to get over it completely, but come to grips with the fact that in the long run, the relationship wasnt going to work out AND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND AND AND you deserve somone who treats you the way you treat them!!!! I get it! He was not the man for me. I can not accept a liar in my life. I can not accept someone who wants to go out until 3 am during the week and I also cant accept someone who doesnt understand where his loyalties lie. As much as I loved him, it doesnt matter anymore. We have parted, I know why, and it is time to move on and be happy living MY life. The non-dates are nice. The guy I liked kissing, is coming over tonight He called me yesterday to let me know he had a nice time the other night. It feels really nice. Who knows where it will go, right now it doesnt really matter...but who knows. I think I am coming to terms in a similar fashion. It just bothers me that I spent seven years with someone who was not only wrong, definitely not good for me and most likely bi/gay. I just never really looked at the whole picture because I had a big fantasy going on in my head. I never understood why we never had enough sex...I'm talking maybe once a month? oh my god. And, he was always on drugs. And, he never liked kissing me, holding me, touching me...always pulled away from me in bed. Well, I guess it's just all hindsight, right? It still sucks. But nothing I can do now except move on.
Author starlite Posted November 9, 2007 Author Posted November 9, 2007 I think I am coming to terms in a similar fashion. It just bothers me that I spent seven years with someone who was not only wrong, definitely not good for me and most likely bi/gay. I just never really looked at the whole picture because I had a big fantasy going on in my head. I never understood why we never had enough sex...I'm talking maybe once a month? oh my god. And, he was always on drugs. And, he never liked kissing me, holding me, touching me...always pulled away from me in bed. Well, I guess it's just all hindsight, right? It still sucks. But nothing I can do now except move on. Msblueyes! You definately deserve so much better than that! If we are going to spend our LIVES with someone we need to choose someone who fulfills our needs. We can be as picky as we want because it is our lives. If you want to be with someone affectionate, then find someone affectionate etc. You can and will do better!!!! I wish you the best of luck with moving on.
Msblueyes Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 Thank you Starlite. He called last night, once to tell me about the marvelous job that he & his buddy are working on down south of me...then around 11 p.m. to say his friend had left for cigarettes at 7 p.m. and not yet returned...sounds like drugs again to me. Don't know if it's just the friend or both of them...well, now he knows how I used to feel about him disappearing...karma's a b*tch! Woke up today, sun was shining, a bit cold for FL ... only 71 right now, but I feel good:)
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