bigheartkindsoul Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 So I have a dairly active social life, I go to the gym etc, I go on dates, I have my work and although am home/field based talk and get on well with my colleagues and customers. But why do I feel so lonely? Christmas is coming, the winter is drawing ever near, being single at this time is horrible, when you wanna stay in but would love to cuddle up infront of the fire, go for winterwalks with SO. God I just feel so lonely, it's not fair. I only wanted to be happy, to love and be loved, instead got shat on from a big height. I donno what to do apart from hibernate and come out in the springtime and start again. Feeling glum and unwanted really.
Lovegod Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 I had to check your profile to make sure you weren't a guy. How sad is that for today's man? There's so much good that comes out of being single - especially during the holidays, and you're choosing to wallow in the 5hit of loneliness. Let's look at the positives: - You can buy yourself xmas gifts instead of gifts for him and his stupid inlaws - No love poetry - No "what do you want for xmas?" - "I unno :S" - No freezing your proverbial nuts off during the winter walks - No finding a fireplace to snuggle near. - No condoms when you have sex with yourself Man, I had it good when I was single!
AllInOne Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 [COLOR=black]Try doing some volunteering. Doing something for somebody else now and then always lifts my spirits.[/COLOR]
squeak Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 People are always alone, the things you are describing are a myth. Imagine waking up at 3AM, married for many years, your spouse is next to you but you start crying because you realize you are always alone, even with someone constantly by your side. People think love cures that alone feeling-it does not. Everyone is alone .....together or not.
brothermartin Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 What up BIGHEART. First of all, feeling lonley is OK. Sounds crazy, but its not. Because you're not feeling lonely for HIM. Yes, the guy hurt you, but you are still here! Yes, he dumped you, but you survived! Sure, he turned out to be a real s**t, but you are NOT! You've got a hell of a lot more going for you than you realize! See that. Give that some time to penetrate, and you will understand what a wonderful person you are and how lucky an average joe would be to have you! As for what to do in the meantime about the loneliness, dance! Go to a club, a pub, a bar, a joint, a friend's house. Wherever you can find some goods tunes, and dance until you sweat! Its better than working out, and a less serious crowd of people.
Lizzie60 Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 I never feel lonely... I do not envy 'couples'... I would not trade my lifestyle for anything in the world right now... Sometimes, I'm wondering what it would be like to have someone in my life... to snuggle in front of the TV... humm... it just feels strange... and it confirms that I do not need anyone to be happy... I agree with Love... Being single is amazing!!! è
jcster Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 The fastest way to misery is to focus on everything that you don't have and ignore everything that you do. The list will never end - once you gain the lover - you lose the freedom. Everything in life is a tradeoff. All that we can ever control is our attitude. So - you started off with this wonderful list of good thing in your life, and then disqualified them all with a "but I really want..." statement. I think the true path to happiness is counting your blessings and losing the grocery list of wants.
jcster Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 People are always alone, the things you are describing are a myth. Imagine waking up at 3AM, married for many years, your spouse is next to you but you start crying because you realize you are always alone, even with someone constantly by your side. People think love cures that alone feeling-it does not. Everyone is alone .....together or not. So true. I've been there, and having someone next to you is no cure for lonliness. Loving yourself - becoming a whole person - will cure it.
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 8, 2007 Author Posted November 8, 2007 So true. I've been there, and having someone next to you is no cure for lonliness. Loving yourself - becoming a whole person - will cure it. I do like myself, I do like my own company, do you not ever want to share part of your life with someone special, someone to love and love you? I don't get it. I.e. I like to watch a DVD on my own I do this alot, however occassionally it would be so wonderful to cuddle up on the sofa and watch with someone who makes you feel warm and loved. I don;t need someone to make my life I'd just like someone to enhance that final part that is missing, i.e. love. I miss passsion, I miss sex, I miss love - thats how I am built. Thats what makes me a human being, to not want these things surely means you are robotic in your way of living (I donno I am just putting thoughts to paper) If it is a myth then why do so many people suffer with it? Why does the whole world just not remain single?
Timberlane Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 I don't know, BHKS. I seem to be less worried about being alone over the holidays now that I kind of don't recognize them. I haven't really celebrated Christmas since the ex left for Europe. And I don't miss it to tell the truth. I do like the vacation so I'll be on a trip I'm sure. As for feeling unwanted, I think it's true that there are guys out there that are into you. You just haven't connected with them yet, but you might even already know them. I get that feeling that I could start something with women I have met recently if I only got to know them better or if circumstances were better. Just knowing you have that potential is reassuring.
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