Lauriebell82 Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 Thank you for proving my point. LOL, your welcome.
Author autumnsky Posted November 7, 2007 Author Posted November 7, 2007 I agree. Like other people said, you may want to try to get some counseling. That way you might at least find out if this is a problem that can be fixed or not. I'm a counselor myself, and in my experience chances of working out problems are much greater when both individuals are willing to try to work it out. Is he willing to deal with this issue? Sounds like he is not taking responsibility, and turning the whole thing around on you. Probably not helping the situation. He's a perfectionist, and doesn't want to admit he has a problem. I will be willing to try anything to fix this because I really hope I don't have to end a relationship over something so (seemingly) simple.
Author autumnsky Posted November 7, 2007 Author Posted November 7, 2007 It's interesting--but not altogether surprising--that the female posters are much more empathetic of a woman not getting enough sex than a man not getting enough sex. I feel for you guys now!
tanbark813 Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 I feel for you guys now! Maybe you can help your fellow women to see the light.
Author autumnsky Posted November 7, 2007 Author Posted November 7, 2007 Maybe you can help your fellow women to see the light. I think I'll make it my new cause.
Lauriebell82 Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 He's a perfectionist, and doesn't want to admit he has a problem. I will be willing to try anything to fix this because I really hope I don't have to end a relationship over something so (seemingly) simple. Have you told him that? That you love him and are willing to do anything to fix the problem? I know you don't want to end the relationship, but if he's not willing to work on the problem, it's not going to get any better. You need to tell him that! Don't threaten to dump him, but communicate to him how much you love him and want to solve the problem. Say that you don't want to lose him, and that you will do anything to help him. Maybe this will snap him back to reality. If he tries to turn it around on you, stop him and be direct about it for him not to do that to you. By the way, any problem that is effecting your relationship isn't neccessarily simple. Incomptible sex drives is a relationship threatening issue that needs to be dealt with.
curiousnycgirl Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 LOL at Tanbark and Oppath - I truly believe I am an exception to the rule you describe of women. I have quite a number of friends who use sex as a tool to get their husbands to do something. I think that is shameful, manipulative, disgusting (and self-depriving) behavior and tell them so!
Lauriebell82 Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 LOL at Tanbark and Oppath - I truly believe I am an exception to the rule you describe of women. I have quite a number of friends who use sex as a tool to get their husbands to do something. I think that is shameful, manipulative, disgusting (and self-depriving) behavior and tell them so! The withholding technique! I agree it's stupid.
tanbark813 Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 I think that is shameful, manipulative, disgusting (and self-depriving) behavior and tell them so! Well if things go south with your bf then give 'ol Tanny a call.
Author autumnsky Posted November 7, 2007 Author Posted November 7, 2007 Have you told him that? That you love him and are willing to do anything to fix the problem? I know you don't want to end the relationship, but if he's not willing to work on the problem, it's not going to get any better. You need to tell him that! Don't threaten to dump him, but communicate to him how much you love him and want to solve the problem. Say that you don't want to lose him, and that you will do anything to help him. Maybe this will snap him back to reality. If he tries to turn it around on you, stop him and be direct about it for him not to do that to you. By the way, any problem that is effecting your relationship isn't neccessarily simple. Incomptible sex drives is a relationship threatening issue that needs to be dealt with. I just talked to him. I told him that I want to be with him and I hope that we can work things out, that its not about the sex itself but what sex is a medium...I told him that I don't want to feel rejected and unattractive because it makes me resent him and that I want to deal with the problem now, because bad things happen when people are unsatisfied with a relationship. Hope it works!
Lauriebell82 Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 I just talked to him. I told him that I want to be with him and I hope that we can work things out, that its not about the sex itself but what sex is a medium...I told him that I don't want to feel rejected and unattractive because it makes me resent him and that I want to deal with the problem now, because bad things happen when people are unsatisfied with a relationship. Hope it works! Yay, good job Autumn! Did he say anything?
Author autumnsky Posted November 7, 2007 Author Posted November 7, 2007 Yay, good job Autumn! Did he say anything? Not yet, he's at work...I'll update when he does!
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