marrty24 Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 When is it ok to contact your ex? My ex broke up with me over 3 months ago, and we had a falling out since. Basically, about two and half months ago she led me on one night out, and then the next day said it was all a mistake. I was extremely hurt by this, but all it did was make me want her more. She has even blamed me for some terrible stuff that has happened to her, and sent me the bill for a flat tire she thought I gave her which was very suprising and hilarious at the same time that she thinks I would do that. I think blamed me because it makes it easier for her to get over me. Probably the largest reason why we broke up was because of her mother, who for some reason has never liked me. I think because I was taking away all she has left, and the mother is afraid to be alone. I don't think I love this girl anymore but I do still have feelings for her and care about her. I would like to contact her and see how she is doing but I'm afraid she will not even have a conversation with me. I'm not saying I want to get back with her, but I would consider it if it were a possibility. How should I go about contacting her? If even at all. Also how do you deal with a mother that does not like you despite all the good things the daughter has to say about you, and how the daughter feels about you.
CaliGuy Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 Short answer. Never. Don't contact her. Move on. She sounds like she's a bad fit for you. Why are you concerned with what someone's mom thinks of you?
Author marrty24 Posted November 7, 2007 Author Posted November 7, 2007 I don't care what her mom thinks of me. I know who I am and I know that I'm a good guy with alot going for me. My ex cares about what her mom thinks, no matter how ridiculous it is. Thats my problem half the time I'm over it but then the other half I miss her and wish there was a way it would work out.
Crestfallen_KH Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 I think if you are the left, then you should go strict NC as soon as you can. You find yourself hanging on every word, trying to figure out "what it really means." If they are nice to you, it's almost worse than if they are mean to you, and if it's made clear they have "moved on" you can just feel your insides caving in. When my divorce is final, I'm done. I won't reach out to him again EVER. Now, if he contacts me somewhere down the line, I'll see how I feel, but even then I'm not going to run to meet him "as a friend" or whatever. I probably won't even respond unless I feel I am really, truly over him and have healed enough so that I don't experience pain IF I agree to meet him. NC is hard, but it's ten times harder to feel like you've made progress, to only be "reset" in the process again through contact. Invariably, the contact never gives you what you truly need or want and you just expose yourself to so much pain and sadness. You just have to focus on yourself and give yourself the closure you may want.
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