shadowofman Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 I'm interested in knowing how often a partner of yours, past or present, has suggested or pressured you to have a threesome or other form of promiscuous sex. If you could list them along with the degree of suggestion/pressure. Men and women's stories wanted.
lost4ever Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 I was in a relationship where the man would bring it up often; always in a off handed comment type way (which didn't bug me much) but I knew I wasn't ready for it, so I never replied after the first time....one time with this guy we were at a club and another couple walked in, they were "totally checking us out" from what he said, anyways he ended up sending them a drink and they came over to the table and started flirting, I freaked out and went in the rest room to vent to a bunch of strangers, it felt like a set up, those girls thought it was a set up too, anyways when I got back to the table the couple and my BF had already made tenitive plans for me and the other girl to get together...I was upset and told him I didn't want to do this, he said it was fine, but he would really really like me to consider....In the end it didn't happen, but for the next 4-5 months (the rest of the time we were together) he would make off handed comments about how the perfect set-up happened and I blew it....That felt like a lot of pressure and I really was upset from then on.
Author shadowofman Posted November 7, 2007 Author Posted November 7, 2007 So that is two men out of how many? Just trying to get an idea of how many people, maybe percentage wise, try this tactic.
lost4ever Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 that was the same guy....I would say 2 out of 7 in my life have pushed for three-some
Author shadowofman Posted November 7, 2007 Author Posted November 7, 2007 Sorry, I really want to hear from a bunch of people, but I'm still interested in this. So, the other five, no hint of interest at all? Did any of them cheat on you?
Darkstar1 Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 Non of previous partners have ever suggested that. I would be offended if they did.
Author shadowofman Posted November 7, 2007 Author Posted November 7, 2007 Darkstar1 So how many partners have you been through and non have suggested? And is this something that you make very clear from the beginning? That questions like these are offensive.
lost4ever Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 Sorry, I really want to hear from a bunch of people, but I'm still interested in this. So, the other five, no hint of interest at all? Did any of them cheat on you? None of the others ever brought it up, so I would assume no intrest, and if they did cheat I didn't know about it-- I don't know why you are asking, but I feel it is vaild to express sexual desires in a relationship, just don't try to force them to change their mind
Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 I've had a few partners bring it up. It's them always wanting 2 women and 1 man, but the offer always ends up 2 men and 1 woman. I would say: 3 out of 5 men
annieo Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 I brought it up early on in my relationship with my h, when were experimenting all over the place with each other. And I didn't just suggest another woman, but another man as well (on a different occasion, not both at the same time). These conversations usually took place while drunk. While the thought was momentarily appealing as a fantasy, we both realized that the potential pitfalls (disease, rampant jealousy, the end of our wonderful relationship) were not worth the momentary thrill. And since my h has taken the liberty of hitting the strip clubs while out of town (without my knowledge initially), he has been able to look at all the novel naked female bodies he likes. Not being a male stripper fancier myself, I am **** out of luck. Thank god I'm not bitter...
Citizen Erased Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 You're actually asking this to get ideas aren't you?
Darkstar1 Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Darkstar1 So how many partners have you been through and non have suggested? And is this something that you make very clear from the beginning? That questions like these are offensive. More than one, but less than 10.
Curmudgeon Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Non of previous partners have ever suggested that. I would be offended if they did. If ever one had suggested it, that would have been the end of the relationship.
TudorII Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 This suggestion only came up when I was with a "fun for now" parnter. Unless you are in an open relationship or have exhaustedly discussed all the pros and cons that will come from it...its not for the even the most stable of relationships. What will seem like a fun, wild and crazy night will end up being a big regret and wedge in the relationship that leads down a road of doubt, insecurity and pain. Now if your not in love and it is in fact just a "fun for now" relationship...then run don't walk to your 3some and don't forget the party favors!
Curmudgeon Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 What will seem like a fun, wild and crazy night will end up being a big regret and wedge in the relationship that leads down a road of doubt, insecurity and pain. Now if your not in love and it is in fact just a "fun for now" relationship...then run don't walk to your 3some and don't forget the party favors! I was an only child. Therefore I never learned to share!
Author shadowofman Posted November 8, 2007 Author Posted November 8, 2007 None of the others ever brought it up, so I would assume no intrest, and if they did cheat I didn't know about it-- I don't know why you are asking, but I feel it is vaild to express sexual desires in a relationship, just don't try to force them to change their mind So 2 out of 7 with what seems to be a healthy environment to talk about such things. I've had a few partners bring it up. It's them always wanting 2 women and 1 man, but the offer always ends up 2 men and 1 woman. I would say: 3 out of 5 men That's how my relationship has worked out. Basically I'll take any group sex I can get. I brought it up early on in my relationship with my h, when were experimenting all over the place with each other. So annieo, is this your only only experience with any relationships? You're actually asking this to get ideas aren't you? Trust me, there are no ideas that would help me achieve what I am looking for. And I've already tried. I'm interested because I want to know the numbers here. How many men try to get their girls to have group sex? How many girls try this? It is my opinion that these people are promiscuously oriented and that will never change. They are high risk for cheating and will never be satisfied with one partner for the rest of their lives. Sure there are people like annieo and her man that just entertain the thought, but these are not the people that I'm interested in. I'm interested in knowing how many people there are like myself. People that are almost exclusively focused on promiscuity and group sex. People that try and manipulate a partner into having group sex. More than one, but less than 10. Thanks for the enthusiasm. If ever one had suggested it, that would have been the end of the relationship. I was an only child. Therefore I never learned to share! So none. Do you think that they knew that the suggestion would have meant curtains? And it's alright with me if you don't want to share. Everyone is entitled to set their own rules. This suggestion only came up when I was with a "fun for now" parnter. Unless you are in an open relationship or have exhaustedly discussed all the pros and cons that will come from it...its not for the even the most stable of relationships. I understand that this is the way it is for some people. So are you saying that only one partner has talked with you about this and it was not a very committed relationship? This is your only experience with possible threesomes?
RecordProducer Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 I'm interested in knowing how often a partner of yours, past or present, has suggested or pressured you to have a threesome or other form of promiscuous sex. If you could list them along with the degree of suggestion/pressure. Men and women's stories wanted. Never! I brought it up though and it didn't yield with any success. My husband has tried a threesome with two women in the past and didn't think it was hot or anything. If ever one had suggested it, that would have been the end of the relationship. Curm, you and I and your wife? No? OK, leave your wife out.
Author shadowofman Posted November 8, 2007 Author Posted November 8, 2007 RecordProducer Are you telling me that your man has little to no libido at all. Sexless marriage and the threesome suggestion didn't work. What about with another man? Maybe he's a little gay?
thrustrebel Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 I've had a couple actually, of both types. MMF, and MFF. The first was with my best friend and a girl I was having a casual thing with. The second was with my long time girlfriend (whom I considered a soulmate until last Wednesday - another story), and a Danish female friend I had staying! First time (MMF) we were playing strip poker and getting wasted. Second time (MFF) it was Truth or Dare whilst wasted. Third time (girlfriend and Danish friend from second time), was just because we'd already done it and liked it. With the girlfriend, it was odd. We had discussed her bi-sexual tendencies but she had never tried anything before. For some reason her and another girl didn't get me jealous so I let it happen. I did get involved but in terms of full sex, only really 'penetrated' the girlfriend. She would have got really jealous if I had done anything that serious with the other girl. So yeah, in my honest opinion it's all about knowing your other half well enough to know without asking what is acceptible and what will upset them etc. And I feel proud to know her first lesbian experience occured whilst I was there! But I have never suggested it or pushed anyone in to it. One awkward fetish to hint at will do me just fine thank you!
RecordProducer Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 RecordProducer Are you telling me that your man has little to no libido at all. Sexless marriage and the threesome suggestion didn't work. What about with another man? Maybe he's a little gay?No, he is not gay at all. The threesome suggestion was not meant to improve our sexless life; it was at the very beginning and ha was against it. Ya know, I don't understand why our marriage is sexless. He says it's because we don't get along, but I think he is full of it. Some of it is physical and I don't feel comfortable discussing it, but I also think that he is being "faithful" to his twin brother who hates me and did everything to kick me (as well as his ex-wife) out of my husband's life. His twin brother doesn't want him to be married and I think my husband didn't want to get emotionally attached to me through sex. He can't stand his brother's pressure and he is divorcing me, while in very bad terms with his brother, too. Of course, my husband says our break-up has nothing to do with his brother. But he is not even aware of how apparent their sick, mutually codependent relationship is to an outsider. I told him yesterday that I would be looking for another man, because he apparently doesn't want me.
marlena Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 My ex husband. He actually brought a friend home one day for that purpose. I chucked both of them out. And, yes, he was very promiscuous. Now yuo know why he is an ex!!! I have been in three other LTRs. Neither ever mentioned something like this.
marlena Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 Grammar Correction. Sorry. None of them mentioned something like this.
dkmyfilet Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 I had a threesome (FFM) with my exH, twice. His suggestion first, my suggestion second. Of course, we were also drunk. But I wouldn't have attempted it if I didn't feel we had a solid R. I don't care for jealousy and all that crap. Since I've been dating, I'd say two out of 10 have talked about it, but it was never insisted upon, and we never dated long enough to do anything anyway. I definitely wouldn't attempt it unless I was really in a solid R and knew we could both handle it.
Lizzie60 Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 I'm interested in knowing how often a partner of yours, past or present, has suggested or pressured you to have a threesome or other form of promiscuous sex. If you could list them along with the degree of suggestion/pressure. Men and women's stories wanted. None of my 'life partners' have suggested a 3-some... Some MMs I've been with have suggested it... (2 women and him) but I am not close enough with any woman I know for that type of sexual exploit.. not that I would mind.. because the man only wants the 2 women on him.. I would not touch the other woman.. at least I don't think I would... we never know... But a 3-some was a fantasy I had... (2 males of course) and I lived it twice... different partners each time... the second time was amazing... I loved it.
Trialbyfire Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 If ever one had suggested it, that would have been the end of the relationship. I couldn't agree more. I was an only child. Therefore I never learned to share! Not an only child but I also never learned to share a partner 'nor ever had the inclination to be taught this kind of sharing. Perhaps it's because I've always loved and valued my partners.
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