dt311unity Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 Back in June my fiance broke up with me. I was pretty sure she was cheating on me with somebody and telling me lies about things. I installed a keylogger on my laptop because we still lived together and she always used my computer. I found some things out from that. We were only on a break for about a week. Now we are back together and doing good. I haven't checked the keylogger for a long time and didn't really know it was still running on the computer anymore. Well this morning I get a call from her saying that she found the keylogger on the computer. She was pretty pissed off. I told her that I put one on there at one time but I didn't know it was still on the computer. I also said that I haven't checked it or haven't been snooping around on her at all. Both which are true. She didn't really believe me. I didn't tell her that I put it on there back when we broke up because I thought she was cheating and I wanted to try to protect my self from her. It just sucks that it decided to pop up or whatever because I haven't even used it lately and didn't know it was still on there. How can I try to reconcile this situation.
Lovegod Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 Why are you living with a woman you don't trust?
reboot Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 It's your computer, you can install any damn thing you want on it. If she has nothing to hide why is there a problem?
finallyhappyme Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 The truth shall set you free my friend. She's already mad at you..so I say just tell her the honest truth. " Babe I put it on a while back because I thought you were fooling around, after I checked it a couple times i realized what I was doing was wrong, so I stopped checking. Then I completely forgot about it. * We were doing so well I honestly forgot about it, please don't let something like this ruin all we have worked for to get where we are today* She might not be able to trust you for a while though and that's understandable.
Author dt311unity Posted November 6, 2007 Author Posted November 6, 2007 I do trust her and that's why i haven't check it at all lately and didn't even think it was still on the computer. I didn't even know what the hell she was so upset about on the phone until I thought about it for a moment. I agree, it's my computer and I can do what I want with it but at the same time I feel bad because it is still on there and I'm not using it anymore. Do I tell her why I originally put it on there hoping she understands? Or do I play dumb and try to blow it off as no big deal?
Author dt311unity Posted November 6, 2007 Author Posted November 6, 2007 I like your response finallyhappyme. I think that would go over best. I really don't want to lie to her about the whole ordeal. I just wish she will understand because I know she hasn't always been truthful to me.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 I do trust her and that's why i haven't check it at all lately and didn't even think it was still on the computer. I didn't even know what the hell she was so upset about on the phone until I thought about it for a moment. I agree, it's my computer and I can do what I want with it but at the same time I feel bad because it is still on there and I'm not using it anymore. Do I tell her why I originally put it on there hoping she understands? Or do I play dumb and try to blow it off as no big deal? Good advice. Honesty is always best. She'll get over it. When she does, have a keylogger event. Uninstall it together and go have a beer or a nice dinner together. Make it a good thing, not something that will hurt the both of you.
finallyhappyme Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 Good advice. Honesty is always best. She'll get over it. When she does, have a keylogger event. Uninstall it together and go have a beer or a nice dinner together. Make it a good thing, not something that will hurt the both of you. Exactly,,emphasize how silly it was for you to even have done that and how embarassed you are about it and mention how happy you are now that you don't even need it. She will might flinch at the truth at first but then she should appreciate your honesty.
bish Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 Back in June my fiance broke up with me. I was pretty sure she was cheating on me with somebody and telling me lies about things. I installed a keylogger on my laptop because we still lived together and she always used my computer. I found some things out from that. We were only on a break for about a week. Now we are back together and doing good. I haven't checked the keylogger for a long time and didn't really know it was still running on the computer anymore. Well this morning I get a call from her saying that she found the keylogger on the computer. She was pretty pissed off. I told her that I put one on there at one time but I didn't know it was still on the computer. I also said that I haven't checked it or haven't been snooping around on her at all. Both which are true. She didn't really believe me. She didn't really believe you? Well tough toenails. You said you found some things out about her, I assume she was cheating unless you meant something else, so you had just cause to put it on there. So if she was a cheater when you put it on there, she should feel like a real hypocrite to complain about it. If she wasn't a cheater...then....oops. But you could have told her you didn't know anything about it. Spyware programs will put their so-called "innocent" keyloggers on there. You could have told her she got it from the net....from the adult dating sites she more than likely went to!! (just kidding.....or did she?) I didn't tell her that I put it on there back when we broke up because I thought she was cheating and I wanted to try to protect my self from her. It just sucks that it decided to pop up or whatever because I haven't even used it lately and didn't know it was still on there. How can I try to reconcile this situation.
reboot Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 pffftttt.... women's advice. It's your computer. If you want a keylogger on it that's your business. I don't understand how she even discovered it. You let her on your computer with admin privileges? Bad idea.
norajane Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 You put it on there, so unless you uninstalled it, why would you think it wouldn't be there? I'm with those who say it's your computer, you can install whatever you want on it. And since you say she hasn't been truthful with you in the past, she has to admit she's given you cause to be suspicious in the past, so be honest about why you put it there. She may not like it, but she had to snoop to find the keylogger, didn't she?
finallyhappyme Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 You put it on there, so unless you uninstalled it, why would you think it wouldn't be there? I'm with those who say it's your computer, you can install whatever you want on it. And since you say she hasn't been truthful with you in the past, she has to admit she's given you cause to be suspicious in the past, so be honest about why you put it there. She may not like it, but she had to snoop to find the keylogger, didn't she? Good point! How did she find the keylogger anyways??
Art_Critic Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 It's your computer. If you want a keylogger on it that's your business. While I do agree with this I would also say that basically you are in a damned if you do and damned if you don't kinda position.. It is your computer.. but then she did catch you essentially spying on her.. A toughie.. a hardline stance gets you broken up with.. I feel the same if you told the truth.. I say you just lay it out there and make amends.. if you want to keep this girl that is.. If not.. then just tell her it is your computer and you installed it a while ago and you don't have to explain why it is on there.. See where that takes you
Mustang Sally Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 Ok. YMMV and JMHO and all that disclaimer business, Buuuuut.... What's with all the dishonesty (on BOTH sides) in this relationship? I mean, seriously, man...
KenzieAbsolutely Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 i haven't check it at all lately and didn't even think it was still on the computer. what did you think it would do, just magically disappear? you installed it, you knew you would have uninstall it. i'm sorry, i just find it hard to believe that a suspicion strong enough for you to spy on someone in such a drastic way became such a past memory that you forgot all about this thing. i think you should try being honest with yourself before pretending to be honest with someone else.
Lovegod Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 what did you think it would do, just magically disappear? you installed it, you knew you would have uninstall it. i'm sorry, i just find it hard to believe that a suspicion strong enough for you to spy on someone in such a drastic way became such a past memory that you forgot all about this thing. i think you should try being honest with yourself before pretending to be honest with someone else. I agree 100%. If you really did trust her, you wouldn't have needed to install the keylogger. If you want to give her an honest answer, tell her you don't trust her, and now you have even less reason to trust her since she was snooping around on your computer.
Author dt311unity Posted November 7, 2007 Author Posted November 7, 2007 So I told her why I had initially put it on the computer, because I thought she was cheating on me. The only reason I did that was because we live together in a house and I pay a lot of the bills and take care of most of our finances and I didn't want to support her anymore if she was cheating on me and just mooching off of me living in the house. She understood because of the way she just wanted to break up and leave. She said that she would have been suspicious if she was in my shoes when everything happened too. She actually wasn't really all that mad when we talked about it. It turns out that when I first put the keylogger on the computer I downloaded and installed it twice. I uninstalled one of the programs but the other program was still on the computer. Both of the programs were only trial programs. It turns out that a screen was up on the computer telling you to go to their website in order to buy and register the program to keep using it. Everything is fine now. One more day of work and then off to vacation in North Carolina! Thanks for your input everyone.
marlena Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 OK! I'm getting paranoid. How does one know if a keylogger has been installed?
Lovegod Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 OK! I'm getting paranoid. How does one know if a keylogger has been installed? A good virus scanner will pick it up.
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