Turtlelover28 Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 I have known this guy for a month, he never really told me how he felt about me, so i persumed by me seeing him on the weekends it was a sexual thing for him and i with no feelings involved. Well i havent talked to him in 5 days, he called me on sat, but i didnt answer his call i wanted to see what he would say, well on sunday i called him back at around 10:30am, he said he would call me right back he was shopping, when he called me back he told me in a joking tone of voice, you better answer my phone when i call you, i told him i answer my phone when i want to. He asked to see me after the game i said ok i should be free. Well he called and i went to his house, sat in a chair he sat on the couch, he came over to me and gave me a hug and said he missed me, to my suprise i didnt exspect that from him. Later on in the night i was getting up and started to put my coat on, he said where do you think your going, i said home, he said you are not leaving yet i dont want you to go. He then asked me to go lay down with him since he was getting tired, I said alright but i dont want no sex, while laying in bed he was holding me and everything, i was caressing his body just showing him some affection. He tried to kiss me i pulled away, he said, what! do you want to leave me alone, do you want me to leave you alone, i said yes maybe it is best that we do. He then got really quiet and kinda upset, he said well i enjoyed your company i enjoy you i will miss you, then he got up and was holding his head in his hands. To me i thought it was just sex cause he never really told me what he wanted from me nor how he felt. So i persume he wanted more than a sexual friendship with me but he was to afraid to say something. Or was i reading all of his signs the wrong way?
Krytie TV Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 You are nothing more than a booty call. People don't call you to do things on a minute's notice unless it's just about sex. That's why he said what he said on Sunday; by you not answering his call Satuday night, he was bummed about not getting laid. If you consider him walking over to you and kissing you saying "I missed you" as signs of emotional attachment, you need some education about men. He got upset when you went to leave because he was counting on sex and didn't get it. Have fun with him all you want, but expect nothing more than sex.
oppath Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 I would agree Krytie, except they've only dated a month. I'm not sure she should count on seeing him more than on weekends or him being emotionally expressive at this point.
shadowplay Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 Yeah, I read your other threads and his intentions are ambiguous but I definitely wouldn't rule out the possiblity that he wants a relationship with you. The main problem is you've been sending him mixed signals. You need to show him you're interested and be consistent if you want him to take you seriously. You're driving him crazy and he's bound to walk ASAP. I would have a talk with him, tell him you really like him and would like a relationship but you need to know where he's at and need to make sure he doesn't just see you as a booty call. Also tell him you'd like to be exclusive.
Krytie TV Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 I would agree Krytie, except they've only dated a month. I'm not sure she should count on seeing him more than on weekends or him being emotionally expressive at this point. But let's go with the presumption that people put their best foot forward at the one month point. Would you call a girl you were interested in a relationship with at 10:30 to do something that night? That's one of the least respectful things someone can do. That says you're worth his time, but only the "sex part" of his time.
shadowplay Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 But let's go with the presumption that people put their best foot forward at the one month point. Would you call a girl you were interested in a relationship with at 10:30 to do something that night? That's one of the least respectful things someone can do. That says you're worth his time, but only the "sex part" of his time. He may be just pursuing the sex aspect of the relationship at this point because she's not giving him anything more (in the emotional department). I think he's not taking her seriously because she's sending him the message that she's not taking him seriously. This is why she needs to tell him frankly about her intentions and ask him what his are. At that point she will be better able to assess the situation. One of them needs to step up to the plate and put some effort in.
Kamille Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 Question 1: why would you assume he only views you as FWB? Question 2: how does the fact that you think this is all you two have inform your actions and reactions? Question 3: What do you want with this guy? I'm starting to get the impression that you might have some self-esteem issues and that this is why you are using the 'he sees me as sex only' as a sheild for your own emotions. You would like him - or us- to convince you that he wants more, yet you are not willing to tell him, or us, or perhaps even yourself, that this is what you want. Don't you deserve a great relationship if that's what you want? Do you find it inconceivable to think that he might want more with you?
Author Turtlelover28 Posted November 7, 2007 Author Posted November 7, 2007 Thanks for all the input, and yes i do like him but really never knew where he stood with me and how he felt about me, i show him affection all the time thinking he might get the hint that i do like him and told him i wanted to see more of him, on sunday while i was talking to him he had his eyes closed and my eyes started to welt up cause i could see myself with him, he kept asking me whats wrong, i told him i couldnt tell him cause i would really start to be emotional and men dont like to see women cry, so i told him i would write it in a note, while leaving he asked when would he get his note, so i took this as a sign that maybe he did want more with me and he cares how i feel about him, but then again i dont know maybe mixed signals.
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