Brooks06 Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 So my ex finally called me. It was a really good conversation. We just caught up, updated each other on family/life, and for once she dominated a conversation and told me to just listen. She told me she is very happy and that I sound like I am doing really well, and that she is sorry she has been a big bitch over the course of the last month and a half. She said she is still going to the college I am at (but just because she loves it, not really because of me). She said she is proud of me for doing the things that make me happy and for not letting this hold me back too much. It gets confusing because I dont think she is really sure what she wants. She told me she is really happy and that she knows this breakup had to happen, even if its just to teach both of us who we really are (because we have been dating since we were kids pretty much). She apologized a lot and took a lot of the blame for letting us go downhill. It gets confusing when she said she still loves me, she just doesnt know what that love is right now. Like if its just as friends or as true love. She said let her breathe for awhile, that our paths will cross again, and we will talk more one day down the road. We only talked about the past and the present, we didnt really dwell on the future. I feel like we are finally on good terms and can eventually develop a friendship, but I know she is my soulmate and it hurts not knowing if this will circle around. She said it would be fine if I dated other people. I think she likes someone else, and I guess the only way she will ever circle back around is by dating and seeing that no one else compares. Any advice on what I should do from here? Like I said, one day I would like her back, but it sounds like she is happy and I dont want to get in the way.
Author Brooks06 Posted November 6, 2007 Author Posted November 6, 2007 any ideas what she is thinking? what i should do?
tomwiz Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 Continue to move on, sounds like she is testing the waters. Meet other girls, see what kinds of personalities you like and don't like. date around alot...that way if things may eventually lead to something, you'll be able to see with clear eyes if its right or not
Lyssa Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 She's not ready and who says that when you love someone, you have to be together? We would like that, all of us to be with the one that we love but sometimes it just doesn't happen that way! She loves you and from what she said, she loves you as a friend and is proud to have you as one. You both sound very young and there is so much more to explore out there. Why don't you do that? Just enjoy your friendship with her now and see how things go from there. Don't force it. Let it happen on its own.
Jmina Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 She only considers you an option and shes keeping you within arms reach JUST IN CASE she cant find anyone better. she is probably still somewhat attatched also. never make someone a priority who only considers you an option. half of what she said to you sounds like she said it to release some of her own guilt, not to make you feel better. you can make what you want of that.
alwayshurt Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 She said you can date other woman if you like so she's over you. Do what she said, date others and forget about her. She is gone.
qwertyu Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 i know it's not what you want to hear when people tell you to date others or she shouldnt get your priority becos shes not placing you as hers. at least for my case cos i know im really not interested in others & i dont see the point in trying out for the sake of it. she sounds kinda like my ex but i dont know, there's rly nothing we can do i guess. like you, im always trying to figure how he truly feels inside. i guess the only thing we can believe in is "if its meant to be, it will be" ? i know it sounds completely crappy cos its like giving everything up to fate but somehow i kinda believe in it, it's just up to us to accept it. ohwell
CaliGuy Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 So my ex finally called me. It was a really good conversation. We just caught up, updated each other on family/life, and for once she dominated a conversation and told me to just listen. She told me she is very happy and that I sound like I am doing really well, and that she is sorry she has been a big bitch over the course of the last month and a half. She said she is still going to the college I am at (but just because she loves it, not really because of me). She said she is proud of me for doing the things that make me happy and for not letting this hold me back too much. It gets confusing because I dont think she is really sure what she wants. She told me she is really happy and that she knows this breakup had to happen, even if its just to teach both of us who we really are (because we have been dating since we were kids pretty much). She apologized a lot and took a lot of the blame for letting us go downhill. It gets confusing when she said she still loves me, she just doesnt know what that love is right now. Like if its just as friends or as true love. She said let her breathe for awhile, that our paths will cross again, and we will talk more one day down the road. We only talked about the past and the present, we didnt really dwell on the future. I feel like we are finally on good terms and can eventually develop a friendship, but I know she is my soulmate and it hurts not knowing if this will circle around. She said it would be fine if I dated other people. I think she likes someone else, and I guess the only way she will ever circle back around is by dating and seeing that no one else compares. Any advice on what I should do from here? Like I said, one day I would like her back, but it sounds like she is happy and I dont want to get in the way. My advice to you is "Don't put your life on hold waiting for her to come around..."
wowIlose Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 curious to know how long it took her to call you? Where you in NC during this period. Dont pick up next time
Author Brooks06 Posted November 9, 2007 Author Posted November 9, 2007 She called me probably two weeks into the break up saying she wanted me back...we met up, talked, and the next day she basically broke up with me all over again. I went no contact for three weeks after that (for the most part...). Well, I've been talking to a mutual friend of ours and we were going to go on a date when my ex got involved and made the friend feel bad..I wrote a very lengthy pissed off email to my ex telling her everything I do from here on out does not involve her. I told her I wanted to move on with my life, that she is a terrible person for playing these games with me and not giving me closure. I think this hit home so she told me she would call me later in the week for "closure"..I couldn't resist answering. Like I said it was a decent conversation and I guess we are on friendly speaking terms in a way. We'll see what happens, but I doubt anything more than a casual conversation every now and then.
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