kittensmittens Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 I dreamed I was in our old apartment and, for whatever reason, there was a window inside the apartment (in the dream). I was peeking through the window and I saw this girl sitting on a couch and a guy in the background. Then I turned around and saw my ex in the same room as me, and got angry at him, assuming that girl I just saw was his gf and the guy in there was him. He kind of laughed and said "no, that's so and so's (one of his old roommates) gf". I was SOOOO relieved and went over and hugged him and we rolled around on the floor and laughed. And then I woke up to this f*cking sh*t reality that I don't think I can take much more of. What the hell do I do here? I'm beginning to think I'm not ANY better than I was 3 1/2 months ago!! I cry all the time again. I still think about him all the time. Thoughts of him and her together, and things like him going over to her house, or her playing with OUR cats, or being in MY old apartment that I miss everyday, or him complementing her, or introducing her as HIS GIRLFREIND, or having SEX with her....are making me CRAZY!! I can't take it!! And I can't stop!! I don't know what to do, I really feel like I'm going out of my mind. I miss him so f*cking much, I feel like I could explode. After all the things he did, I thought he would have a heart and come back...I thought it would get to him. How can he forget me??? If I had ANY inkling this is what was in store, I NEVER would have left town that night. I should have gone to visit him when he tried to come back. I shouldn't have been so insecure for so long. I can't stop blaming myself. Maybe he wouldn't have been so horrible to me in the end if I hadn't pushed him to that. f*ck me!!! I can't take this.
Krying Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 Hi Kittens. I know how you feel as I'm basically depressed like crazy right now. I just sleep, mope, don't eat, sleep some more and hope that the day will pass quickly. It doesn't. Funny how time is relative. When I was with my ex, hours seemed like minutes. Without her, seconds seem like days. I too had a dream that was so real it actually freaked me out. No words were exchanged. My ex simply looked at me, into my eyes, reached down and grabbed my hand and squeezed my hand. An incredibly strong feeling that things would be ok and that she would come back to me were overwhelming. I immediately woke up and was shocked to find out it was a dream. It was sooo real. And I've had dreams where I knew I am dreaming. I've never had a dream that felt so real and freaked me out. This one did.
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