upto_here Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 hi guys i haven't been here for a while ,try to heal my own way if that what you call it....i have been nc with my exmm for nearly 5months now and i think i did quite well but until recently i found out his new cell phone number and i was reallt temted to call but i didn't but my brain and my heart doesn''t work together... damn!! but no i did not call him but my brain tell me to find out what kind of the man he is...so i text him pretend to be a stranger texting the wrong person....but at the end we start to exchange the text i can't believe what i read that he is si interested in chatting to a starnger even say that thinking about what i might look like!!!! i felt so sick in the stomach...he even introduce himself as his real name and state where he lived ..then i feed him the line saying that is he looking for a bit on the side with no tide or theres a few and he said who would't!! and no he haven't been that lucky! even more sick!! and thats only breifly!!!! i don't know what to think anymore...even typing now i am shaking....i never know this guy at all he is a complete stranger.....and i felt so sick the anger is coming and i can feel it but try to calm myself down....please give me some advice i really need you guys....
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 No new contacts = no new hurts This is a blow to your heart and soul, and a bad one. It has set you back, but there is nothing that says you can't simply put one foot in front of the other and start that walk back toward healing again. Setbacks are normal. So is starting again.
KATANYA Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 So you text your ex-MM as a 'stranger', meaning he did not know it was you and he had NO IDEA who he was talking to. Then he proceeds to suggest he would be up for a casual fling but couldn't be that lucky, tells you his name, where he lives, etc.....what part of this man do you miss? It sounds to me like ex-MM probably has MANY flings/A's and he's not really all that particular about who he has them with or under what circumstances. Take strength from that and use your anger to keep you moving away from him....not back to him! He obviously has very little regard for himself (his health) or for women if he is willing to just 'pick up' anyone - including a stranger on a wrong number text message. You broke NC but he doesn't know it was you so count your blessings, pick yourself up and keep moving in the direction you have been for 5 mts. You lost very little when you lost him! Imagine how you'd feel if you were with him now and had done the same thing with the text ---- you have many answers about ex-MM; all point to the fact that he is a dog and doesn't deserve anymore of your time!
Shades of Grey Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 Upto-here, I can completely appreciate how hurt and upset and sick you must be feeling, however since you felt the urge to test him in this way it seems that sadly his behaviour probably deep down doesn't come as a surprise. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do except carry on moving forward the way you have been. Temptation to keep checks on him like this will always be present but you don't need any more gut wrenching hard evidence to confirm what deep down you already know about this man. That he doesn't deserve your time or your tears. Look after yourself. x
frannie Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 I bet that was something of a shock... but as someone else said, you tested him, so somewhere inside you you must have realised or suspected that he'd be like this..? And that's good because it means your gut was telling you something important! You say it feels terrible now... but you know, once this sinks in I bet it will feel really good, to know that you did the right thing to end it with him. You're lost nothing really, because he's not worth your time. As soon as that sinks in, you'll start to get better much quicker, I think.
Author upto_here Posted November 6, 2007 Author Posted November 6, 2007 Please forgive me, I don't wish to sound cruel, but exactly what were you expecting when you texted him? He is a proven lier and cheat. Those character flaws don't just disappear because you gave him your heart. He is no respecter of feelings or love. thanks guys,,yes it is hurt and show me who he is ,yes i have an inkling that way not just now but before we bloke up his wife did as well even before we together always check on him etc...anyway i thought of manythings and refuse to be his victim..if that what it is and part of me still denying it...that he's not that kind...what a fool i accept that its take guts to do this ...i didn't expect he will reply back when i text him first time,,,as normal people if someone text you and you don't know what they talking about you will ignore it the gut feeling always tell you that its was the wrong number and you will do nothing.,wouldn't you?
Author upto_here Posted November 6, 2007 Author Posted November 6, 2007 No new contacts = no new hurts This is a blow to your heart and soul, and a bad one. It has set you back, but there is nothing that says you can't simply put one foot in front of the other and start that walk back toward healing again. Setbacks are normal. So is starting again. its true ,i was doing great before i text him and now i feel like i'm back to square 1 again...(((sigh)) what i'm i doing hurting myself time to times again....when he asks how old i am and where i lives ..i even tell him my name for example my name is sam ...he must have thought theres so many sam ..but yet again he doesnt back of....what a jerk...is that what you think i should do? healing again and leave it..what shall i do if he text again....my brain is so not working now....
imstunned Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 i frequently fight the temptation to do what you have done and pretent to be a stranger and get in touch with my exmm. I dont do it as its too soon, but after reading your thread I wont ever do it. No good can come of it. If he texts again DELETE IT. My ex mm pretended to be somebody else when he texted me (long story) - its not a game you want to get into. And is it only really me that it has occured to that he knows fine well ts you? People tend to have texting mannerisms - just a thought. . . .but whatever - DONT GO THERE. Nothing can come thats good out of you and him textng while you are pretending to be somebody else. Just my opinion. xx
Chrome Barracuda Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 hi guys i haven't been here for a while ,try to heal my own way if that what you call it....i have been nc with my exmm for nearly 5months now and i think i did quite well but until recently i found out his new cell phone number and i was reallt temted to call but i didn't but my brain and my heart doesn''t work together... damn!! but no i did not call him but my brain tell me to find out what kind of the man he is...so i text him pretend to be a stranger texting the wrong person....but at the end we start to exchange the text i can't believe what i read that he is si interested in chatting to a starnger even say that thinking about what i might look like!!!! i felt so sick in the stomach...he even introduce himself as his real name and state where he lived ..then i feed him the line saying that is he looking for a bit on the side with no tide or theres a few and he said who would't!! and no he haven't been that lucky! even more sick!! and thats only breifly!!!! i don't know what to think anymore...even typing now i am shaking....i never know this guy at all he is a complete stranger.....and i felt so sick the anger is coming and i can feel it but try to calm myself down....please give me some advice i really need you guys.... Now you see what type of man he really is. All you was to him was a quick sex partner!!! These married men who cheat on their wives with you women tell themselves that! IT's the truth. But now that you know how his character is will you still go back to it? I mean why stay with a serial cheater??? I mean he has no respect for his wife, what makes you think he's gonna respect you? C'mon snap out of it.
justice Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 Now that you know the truth, you can go on. You read it first hand, be a better person!
Author upto_here Posted November 7, 2007 Author Posted November 7, 2007 :lmao:oh dear oh dear....i haven't reply the text back for 1 day now...and i quite relieve...but today i got 6 messages from him..i was so stunned ...i am feeling so sick as ever ..he asks me if i;m up for the good time...what is this.....what i'm i gonna do....((((sign))))
reboot Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 If you really don't want him contacting you. You could tell his wife or you could get a restraining order. Either would work. I like the first choice personally.
Author upto_here Posted November 7, 2007 Author Posted November 7, 2007 If you really don't want him contacting you. You could tell his wife or you could get a restraining order. Either would work. I like the first choice personally. i used to tell his w that ,but she's not believe me...he asks me to chat with him in msn ,i will ..thats my plan .....i',m so bitchy ..i don't like it at all.....but i am angry
KATANYA Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 If you have already told his wife and she didn't believe you, show her the texts or better yet, text him with her there???(If you have that kind of rapport with her). Personally, I would not be texting him anymore or doing the msn thing because he will eventually find out its you and then one of two things will happen -----you two will start the A again or he will break your heart by saying he way 'just kidding around' blah blah blah and back off. Either way.........you lose! I'm just a little confused though - do you want to resume your R with this man? After knowing what you know, why are you still questionning what to do? Not being critical, just want to understand what it is that you want or are confused about. Take care.
Author upto_here Posted November 7, 2007 Author Posted November 7, 2007 If you have already told his wife and she didn't believe you, show her the texts or better yet, text him with her there???(If you have that kind of rapport with her). Personally, I would not be texting him anymore or doing the msn thing because he will eventually find out its you and then one of two things will happen -----you two will start the A again or he will break your heart by saying he way 'just kidding around' blah blah blah and back off. Either way.........you lose! I'm just a little confused though - do you want to resume your R with this man? After knowing what you know, why are you still questionning what to do? Not being critical, just want to understand what it is that you want or are confused about. Take care. no no no ..i don't want to resume the r with him again i don't think i can do it ,,but the truth is i just want the whole world to know ..what kind of a man he is especially his w....i know either way i will lose .....i already lose...i questioning about should i text him back and get him hook until i get the clear evidence....to show his w...to prove to her ....or sholud i stop texting him and get on with my life after i know the truth...
Author upto_here Posted November 9, 2007 Author Posted November 9, 2007 no no no ..i don't want to resume the r with him again i don't think i can do it ,,but the truth is i just want the whole world to know ..what kind of a man he is especially his w....i know either way i will lose .....i already lose...i questioning about should i text him back and get him hook until i get the clear evidence....to show his w...to prove to her ....or sholud i stop texting him and get on with my life after i know the truth... after a few thought ...i get the grip ..i admit that i am angry ..but i see with my clear eyes now what a pig he is ....what a completly idiot....obviously....i did not text him again ...he maybe suspect its was me...i don't b***dy care anymore...the whole year is completly mess ...and i,m not letting myself down again....i remind myself that..
Lyssa Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 You should let him go and move on with your life. Don't let any guy bring you down or make you feel bad about yourself! It shows that he's a p****-chaser and he's not worth your time.
Chrome Barracuda Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 I agree with lyssa. No more chasing married men..!!! I mean that's what guys alot of times do! Dont feel sorry for yourself. Examine what you did to put yourself in that situation and make stronger boundreis with yourself no matter what you may feel!
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