This may sound consieted, but I still want to ask.

[brothermartin]

Are women threatened by men that uderstand them? Not in a creepy, stalker kind of way, but like a boyfriend/husband just knowing what his wife/girlfriend might do or say in a given situation. Most men I know say they dont understand women, but I feel I have a better understanding of women than they do. When I've encountered women that realize this, they seem to not like it very much.

Are women in general threatened by a man that is not totaly clueless about them?

[amaysngrace]

I guess it depends if it's accurate or speculation. If some guy was trying to catagorize me with every woman in the world I'd be offended. But if he appreciated my feminine side or my emotional side or whatever and we clicked then I would be cool with that.

 

Very cool with that.

 

But if a guy says "I understand women" as if we are all the same I think that makes him a hand-job.

[underpants]

I can only speak for myself but I do like it when someone 'gets me'.

 

However, if I smell bad manipulation tactics employing this talent then that is a turn off.

 

I respect someone who can call me on my bs and someone not too hypocritical to not allow their own bs to be spotlighted. Here and there.

 

That being said, I could say the same thing about men.

 

There are people that like to live in denial and those who relish the truth and are comfortable with honesty and truth. Male and female.

[brothermartin]

I guess it depends if it's accurate or speculation. If some guy was trying to catagorize me with every woman in the world I'd be offended. But if he appreciated my feminine side or my emotional side or whatever and we clicked then I would be cool with that.

 

Very cool with that.

 

But if a guy says "I understand women" as if we are all the same I think that makes him a hand-job.

 

No, Im not saying I understand women like all women are the same. But all women, like all men, share similarities. Those similarities are what I see and understand.

[amaysngrace]

But all women, like all men, share similarities. Those similarities are what I see and understand.

 

Like what? I know lots of men and I don't really see as many similarities in each of them as much as I see differences.

 

So what are you talking about?

[brothermartin]

Example: most men would choose to sit at home on Saturday and watch the game rather than go shopping at the mall. Thats not saying that all women like to go mall shopping, but a lot of women do and a lot of men like to hit the couch and catch the Braves game. Similarities.

[amaysngrace]

Okay well I guess maybe that applies to the guys you know but not the guys I know.

 

Some watch the game. Some go to the beach. Some sit on the beach. Some surf. Some mow the lawn. Some hike in the mountains. Some take in Nascar. Some go camping. Some ride their Harleys. Some play with their kids because that's when they get to see their kids. Some even go shopping for something new for Saturday night!

[brothermartin]

Yeah, some of the guys I know do those things to. Most of the women I know go shopping, spend time with thier kids, do stuff around the house, go to the movies, etc.

But how many women do you know that change thier own oil, or clean out the AC filter? I would guess not as many as men that do that. And if you do know any women like this, I'd love to meet them.

[KittenMoon]

I knew a guy who "got" women. He really did.

 

He was also creepy as all get out. For no real reason- he was a nice guy, my friend, and wouldn't hurt a fly.

 

Yet there was something disconcerting about his "sensitivity". I can't quite explain what. But I can say, if you're like this, try to show it through actions more than words. Like if you can tell a woman is really upset, trying to talk about her feelings might make you look all Dr.Phil-creepy; instead, just be like: "You seem upset, wanna go get a drink or a sundae and chill out a bit?"

 

This is all my opinion of course. But if a guy shows he understands what's going on, without getting all specifically emotionally creepy, it's a cool thing.

[brothermartin]

I knew a guy who "got" women. He really did.

 

He was also creepy as all get out. For no real reason- he was a nice guy, my friend, and wouldn't hurt a fly.

 

Yet there was something disconcerting about his "sensitivity". I can't quite explain what. But I can say, if you're like this, try to show it through actions more than words. Like if you can tell a woman is really upset, trying to talk about her feelings might make you look all Dr.Phil-creepy; instead, just be like: "You seem upset, wanna go get a drink or a sundae and chill out a bit?"

 

This is all my opinion of course. But if a guy shows he understands what's going on, without getting all specifically emotionally creepy, it's a cool thing.

Yes! This is what Im talking about. But I dont understand something. Why would asking a woman to talk about her feelings make me "creepy"? I've had women ask me to talk about my feelings and it never really bothered me, but it was usually a woman that I was close to like a friend or girlfriend. Why would a woman feel uneasy about this?

[spooty]

talking about feelings makes you more sensitive than the average guy, and since you are more sensitive this is thought of as less masculine. boys are taught from early ages to withhold emotion and to not be very interested in the minor details of it. so, even though we say we want sensitive guys, we're actually more attracted to the strong silent reserved types. while some women may go so far as to feel that you are acting "gay" most will see a guy that is more in touch with emotions as less masculine and therefore less male. by having characteristics that are regarded as female, women may pull back and not see you in a romantic way.

also, the uneasiness may be a control issue. women are used to be the ones who have the control over the emotions and emotional conversations in a relationship. think about the lengths girls will go to get a guy to talk to them or ask "what's wrong?". even though the guy has to break the ice, the girl usually is behind the manipulation and hints to get him to that point. asking about feelings is, in a way, beating women at their own game.

[amaysngrace]

But how many women do you know that change thier own oil, or clean out the AC filter?

 

The AC has a filter?! Who knew?

 

I just take the cover off in springtime and put the cover back on in fall.

 

I got really bad yelled at by a mechanic for not having my oil changed for so long. I told him my exH worked at a car dealership. They had a service dept. It wasn't my worry.

 

He didn't like me saying that.

 

I see what you're saying Martin. The role playing thing. But that's not really the only identifying factor to describe a whole gender. Because some don't even fit the norm. Plus it doesn't really take much observation to see that women plant flowers while men chop down trees.

 

I don't really get what you're boasting about.

 

And by the way, I do my own yardwork. Clean my own gutters. Take out the garbage. Put air in my tires. I even know how to change a flat. But that doesn't mean I 'get' men.

 

It means I'm too poor to hire somebody to do it for me.

[KittenMoon]

Yes! This is what Im talking about. But I dont understand something. Why would asking a woman to talk about her feelings make me "creepy"? I've had women ask me to talk about my feelings and it never really bothered me, but it was usually a woman that I was close to like a friend or girlfriend. Why would a woman feel uneasy about this?

 

I think perhaps there's an inherent fear that a guy could use his emotional sensitivity to take advantage in some way, y'know?

 

To me, it's on a similar level as when guys get uncomfortable with, or label a woman a bitch when she tries to take an alpha position in a group. Certainly, this isn't rare in the business world. (just an example off the top of my head)

[Krytie TV]

I get the feeling, OP, that you are basing your vast understanding of women on on experience you had with a woman. Some people don't like to talk about feelings. There's nothing "out there" about that observation. I think you're drawing a generalization from a limited experience.

[halfarock]

Just because you understand or “get” a woman doesn’t mean that you have to be feminine about it. But if you observe a certain woman and get a sense of her, then by picking up her clues it’s easy to understand her, to know how to react to her.

[Phateless]

It's "conceited" with a C.

 

I think just because you understand women doesn't mean you should relate to them AS WOMEN, if that makes sense? I can read people pretty well, but if you tell them about it it kind of freaks them out. Rather, you should use what you pick up to build rapport, instead. Make sense?

[T - mac]

if you understood women so well you wouldnt be asking this question

[brothermartin]

The AC has a filter?! Who knew?

 

I just take the cover off in springtime and put the cover back on in fall.

 

I got really bad yelled at by a mechanic for not having my oil changed for so long. I told him my exH worked at a car dealership. They had a service dept. It wasn't my worry.

 

He didn't like me saying that.

 

I see what you're saying Martin. The role playing thing. But that's not really the only identifying factor to describe a whole gender. Because some don't even fit the norm. Plus it doesn't really take much observation to see that women plant flowers while men chop down trees.

 

I don't really get what you're boasting about.

 

And by the way, I do my own yardwork. Clean my own gutters. Take out the garbage. Put air in my tires. I even know how to change a flat. But that doesn't mean I 'get' men.

 

It means I'm too poor to hire somebody to do it for me.

Point taken.

[brothermartin]

if you understood women so well you wouldnt be asking this question

 

If you're a woman, you just proved my point.

[brothermartin]

It's "conceited" with a C.

 

I think just because you understand women doesn't mean you should relate to them AS WOMEN, if that makes sense? I can read people pretty well, but if you tell them about it it kind of freaks them out. Rather, you should use what you pick up to build rapport, instead. Make sense?

 

Not exactly what I do. I have a "problem" with pointing out other people's

double-standards, namely women's, and they dont usually take it as well as a guy might.

[popey]

I like it when a man gets me. I HATE it when a man THINKS he gets me, and insists as much, and he's wrong. i find this to be quite common.

[Phateless]

Not exactly what I do. I have a "problem" with pointing out other people's

double-standards, namely women's, and they dont usually take it as well as a guy might.

 

That's called elitism, arrogance, and a superiority complex. Why do you feel the need to do this?

[RecordProducer]

Are women threatened by men that uderstand them? Not in a creepy, stalker kind of way, but like a boyfriend/husband just knowing what his wife/girlfriend might do or say in a given situation. Most men I know say they dont understand women, but I feel I have a better understanding of women than they do. When I've encountered women that realize this, they seem to not like it very much.

Are women in general threatened by a man that is not totaly clueless about them?

Women might have some general characteristics, but they do differ in many aspects. I don't understand if you're talking about a positive disposition toward women or you really can see through their actions.

Once I met a person with whom I didn't have to fight cuz we communicated very well on an abstract level. But we disagreed on the basic things.