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how could he really be done with us?


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Posted

in a nutshell, 10 weeks out of an almost 2 year relationship.

we had been talking marriage, met the folks were the couple that everyone considered "perfect and destined to be together". his father died on valentine's day of this year, he started pulling away even though we lived together. i got nervous and started to lose my faith in him that he would propose to me. (it had been over a year since he had brought it up and taken me ring shopping). I asked him in august and his repsonse was pretty bad. he called me selfish for brining this up 6 months after his father had passed. i was hurt, and it didnt' help when my best friend got engaged. I called him on it, and he said he wanted to work it out and that he wasnt' ready but that he loved me and i was still the woman he was gonig to marry -- but that he didnt' have a time frame anymore.

i was hurt and couldn't let it go.

I attempted to leave (mostly because i think i wanted to shock him subconciously into realizing how great i was) -- but i didn't leave, and we were working it out, till several days later when he came home from work and ended it.

that was 10 weeks ago. I moved out, have been a mess, distraught - i miss him so much, i miss us. i realize that i got obsessed about marriage and don't need him to marry me anymore. i just want to be with him, for us to be together.

we have seen each other several times, he helped me move into my new place the other day (i've been gone since the day he broke it off -- this is just my permenant place).

he mentioned that one of his good friends from eurpoe and that guys' gf is staying at our old place this weekend with him. i really got on with them and wish i was goign to be there with them. plus, sunday the 11th woudl have been our 2 year anniversary.

my point is, if he sees me, returns my calls (only 6 in 10 weeks), admitted he is miserable at home alone, knows I am very sad and upset, why the hell haven't we even had 1 conversatino about getting back together?

Posted

Hi Angie,

Why don't you just call him, tell him you'd like to meet for dinner sometime. If he accepts, you have a in, then you can tell him how you feel. If he doesn't accept, give it a little time, then write him a letter explaining how you feel. Either way, you need to tell him you are sorry for having pressured him to get married so soon after his fathers death. That was just mean & selfish imho. Do you know what it's like to lose a parent?

I think he feels, as i would, very disrespected by your timing in your request.

Sorry if i sound harsh, but as a guy, that's how i would have taken your inappropriate timing. If i remember correctly from your previous posts, his brother didn't agree either & that is why he left you?

Best of luck

Scorp

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Posted

yeah its a bit more complicated but that's the gist.

 

i just mailed him a letter.

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