new to dating (again)

[lexi29]

I posted in another forum here about trying to get over my ex. Well in trying to do that I signed up on an online dating site got a ton of responses and didn't really find anyone who interested me except for one guy. He's three years younger than me, we have a lot in common (on paper) and he seems easy to talk to and nice. He also sent me an email before I even had a picture up (took about a week) because he noticed some things on my profile that he liked and took the time to respond to specific things he liked unlike the generic emails I'd gotten from other guys. He lives about 45 minutes away. Once he saw my pictures he became even more interested and asked for my #. Gave him one to a prepaid cell. We kept missing eachother's calls for about 2 weeks (ok I wasn't trying that hard because I'm not over my ex) and the guy called me five times yesterday trying to get ahold of me so I finally called him back today. it was the first time we talked on the phone and he seems nice and easy to talk to. We asked the standard questions, I made some jokes he made some jokes, it was nice. We talked for about 45 minutes (and I was at work at the time!)

 

I didnt' tell him anything about just getting out of a relationship (he didn't ask) he talked about going out somewhere with a friend (I took it to mean someone he went on a date with) and he asked how my experience has been with the dating site. He said he's tried it before (few years ago- because he lives in the middle of nowhere and its hard to meet women) and he's trying it again for 3 months. I don't mean to sound picky but one thing I didn't like is that he asked where I was from (when this is already listed on my profile) and he asked if I liked camping (which is one thing on my profile he commented on because we'd been to the same places and I had emailed him and told him about my most recent trip and today he asked me if I'd been to the same place I emailed him about becuase he was just there last weekend) So it sounds like he's talking to several women and just can't keep them straight. Which I don't have a problem with (talking to several women) I mean it IS a dating site. But I didn't like that basically he didn't remember anything about me. Maybe I'm just too picky though.

 

Anyway he asked what I am doing this weekend (I"m busy) and I told him this so he said if I want to get together for a meal or coffee sometime to call him. He seemed nice and I wouldn't mind meeting him in person just for something to do (and I've already checked him out so I'm not worried about meeting him)

 

I haven't dated in over 3 years and I really don't know what to expect. Even when I was dating I never went on a blind date (basically what this is). do we just sit down for coffee and chat and then leave? If I enjoy his company is it ok to ask him to go somewhere else afterward? If I call him to set up a time (as he suggested as he asked me out for the weekend but i'm busy) do I have to pick the place to meet? We live 45 minutes apart- should I expect him to come closer to where I live to meet the first time or should we meet in the middle (neither of us are familiar with that area) Should I talk to him on the phone a few more times before I meet him?

 

can anyone tell me what to expect or how to handle this?

[lexi29]

No replies- anyone???

[tomwiz]

You can't really be annoyed with him not remembering things about your profile. Online dating is a lot different for guys. For a girl its like putting out a fishing line and getting a bite almost immediately, for guys its like throwing out a huge net (emails) for a few minnos. He has probably sent out tens and tens of emails. But why not meet up with him if you feel safe, I've been following your breakup posts and its simliar situation to mine. I started getting out there again and I'm feeling better about the breakup...even though I havent really clicked with a gal yet, its nice to see that some are interested...there are more out there than our exes

[lexi29]

Tom thanks for the support. I guess I was getting annoyed that he didn't remember anything about me because we've emailed back and forth a few times, and he's been trying to get in contact with me (by phone) for about two weeks now. We've been playing phone tag and if I dont get ahold of him after he's left a message I would just call once and leave a message its up to him from there. This last sunday he called me six times trying to get ahold of me. I finally called him back (and talked to him for the first time, on Monday) I mean if he's putting that much effort into trying to talk to me I'd at least expect him to remember where I"m from or at least that I like most outdoor activities (something we've discussed in detail in our emails) to me it felt like he didnt care to take the time to glance at my profile again or any of the emails we'd sent back and forth. But I'm probably too picky cause I have been out of the dating scene for so long and I"m just used to having someone (my ex) that knows everything about me.

[Leoni]

Meeting in a coffee house on a weekend afternoon sounds like a good place to start.