Jamian Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 I wonder if anyone can help me. My Fiance of 3 and a half years ended our relationship 3 weeks ago saying that I had jealousy issues and that I would not take enough to do with her son whom she had in a previous relationship. I was heartbroken, but tried to accept her decision, although we both agreed that we still loved each other. She text me last week after I have her a last goodbye text asking to meet up with me this week to date again, stating that she was not promising anything and that we should be free to be able to walk away as soon as we (her really) feel it is not working. I miss her so much and aside from what was stated we were good together and got on really well until the last few months. I am very tempted and we have agreed to meet tomorrow night. I know she is not that type of girl, but I'm very afraid that she may end up dangling me on a piece of string only to end it again which would mean having to go through all the heartache again. She arranged the date innitially for tonight, but cancelled stating that she had forgotten a previous salsa class engagement with one of her friends. What I want to know is, is she just keeping me as a back up incase she doesn't meet someone else, or does she still love me enough to view this as a second chance?
Crestfallen_KH Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 This just sounds like a recipe for disaster. You were engaged, preparing to live a life as a married couple. She breaks up with you, and now you are considering a regression in your relationship by dating? I don't know of any scenario where this would work. If you still have feelings for her (and, with such a recent breakup, I don't know how you couldn't) you'll be setting yourself up to be consistently hurt. My experience is that people who break up feel guilt. A way to help ease the guilt they feel is to propose "let's be friends" or "maybe we can date." This is rarely done for your benefit. If you agree to be friends or date, then they can convince themselves they were a "nice guy/gal" and since you agreed to this preposterous arrangement, you must be ok with it, too. What has likely happened, is that she has already started to move on emotionally. How would you feel if she decided to date someone else along with you? This is a very real possibility. Wouldn't it just break your heart? Obviously, in matters of the heart, we often aren't guided by common sense, so the decision it up to you. But, I would seriously recommend cutting her off and going your own way. I really think you'll just prolong the pain. Good luck.
ncpd25 Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Give yourself some respect and tell her, you don't think it's a good idea. I understand you're feelings for her are very much in the forefront but, Don't let her crush you again. Seems she even set the stage by telling you in advance: "We're both free to leave if things aren't working out". I suppose that would be understood without saying it, but, it appears she doesn't have much faith if she's making that clear to you before hand. This way, if she walks again, she can say "I told ou about that stipulation from the begining" and then, she wouldn't feel guilty about walking away. As difficult as it may be, save yourself the pending heartache and tell her "Thanks but, No Thanks....Hasta Lasagna!!" At least you can turn and walk with respect for yourself as opposed to her kicking you while your down and walking away again. Best of Luck my friend!!!
wowIlose Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 If you ever date again you date on your terms not hers. She has no right to set the rules, and if she does you set your own by saying "f*** off". I know its blunt but if you don't this won't end good for you man.
brothermartin Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 If you ever date again you date on your terms not hers. She has no right to set the rules, and if she does you set your own by saying "f*** off". I know its blunt but if you don't this won't end good for you man. ABSOLUTELY! But Im a little fuzzy. She left you because of your jealously issues? Who were you jealouse of?
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