nadiaj2727 Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Wow, OMG, the receptionist at work (who doesn't know of my former affair with my xMM, but who may suspect, and who is very nosy/ gossipy) ust told me that my xMM got a fax from a jewelry store, also sent to his wife's office, with an appraisal of her engagement & wedding ring set. She's like, "what do you think that means? Is she looking to sell her rings? Just change insurance? Are they having problems?" (I think she was asking me these questions just to see my reaction; of course I just shrugged and looked surprised, because I *was* suprised). This is the first time I've gotten independent verification of a divorce in progress. I was beginning to think it wasn't happening at all. I guess he must be getting divorced if his wife is having her rings appraised. But why is she sending him the appraisal too? Often I've begun to think maybe the divorce was originally *her* idea and he was trying to hang on, even though he told me the opposite. From what he's told me, before he even met me she'd said, "We have a loveless marriage, I want out, I consider us separated, you can see anyone you want." (Does this make sense? Would a married woman say this?? They were still living together when I met him. Why wouldn't one of them had left after she'd said that? I've asked him and he said he knows, it doesn't make any sense to him either.) But after he moved out she changed her mind and said she thought they could work out their issues. Then just recently (when I first started trying to break up with him b/c I was tired of waiting & feeling guilty b/c she didn't want a D, and just confused about what was going on), he told me he'd had to have a very hard conversation with her and tell her there was no hope for them b/c he just didn't have any feelings at all for her, and that he knew that would get their D moving. (Why couldn't he have said this when she first said she considered them separated? Why wouldn't he have moved out then?) I wish I hadn't found out this information. It makes me question everything. I used to always tell him I didn't want to see him while another woman is still wearing his wedding ring. What if he's pushing for divorce even harder now that I broke up with him, b/c he wants to be with me and he realizes I'm moving on? That will make me feel horrible b/c I'll always wonder if there was a chance they wouldn't have gotten divorced if it weren't for me. I feel bad for not believing him that a D was at least in progress... but then again, he's told me "a week or two" so many times, how could I not have lost hope? But mostly I feel depressed b/c I've decided I just no longer want to be with him any more at all, because of the kind of person he is and the kind of person our relationship made me become, and I'm afraid he's getting serious about this D b/c he thinks I gave him an ultimatum -- me or her, and he's choosing me -- when really what I've been saying is, "I don't want to be with you anymore." I guess I never should have gotten involved in the first place, then I wouldn't be wondering what would have happened if I weren't in the picture. I am so depressed right now, I feel like I ruined their marriage and I also broke his heart.
whichwayisup Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 I think it's a set up. Seriously, this man is pulling out ALL the stops now! Why would he be allowing this type of personal information to happen at work, let alone allow the secretary who is GOSSIPY see...Yeah, something stinks here. Anyway, if he ends his marriage, he'll end it - Just stay away from him. If in the in future he wants to date you, deal with it then...But, until then, just stay in NC mode and don't get sucked into his dramatic life.
whichwayisup Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 I think it's a set up. Seriously, this man is pulling out ALL the stops now! Why would he be allowing this type of personal information to happen at work, let alone allow the secretary who is GOSSIPY see...Yeah, something stinks here. Anyway, if he ends his marriage, he'll end it - Just stay away from him. If in the in future he wants to date you, deal with it then...But, until then, just stay in NC mode and don't get sucked into his dramatic life.
whichwayisup Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Oops, sorry for the jacob-two-two thing, don't know why that posted twice..
Author nadiaj2727 Posted November 5, 2007 Author Posted November 5, 2007 I don't think it's a set up. I thought the email he forwarded me from her might be a set-up. But I don't have the same feeling of distrust about this (maybe b/c it didn't come from him). Now I just feel depressed, I guess that whether or not it was a set-up or not, I'm afraid he's getting divorced b/c I broke up with him. What I thought I wanted at one time, I no longer want. I don't know how to get rid of this feeling of dread and guilt.
reboot Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 I don't think it's a set up. I thought the email he forwarded me from her might be a set-up. But I don't have the same feeling of distrust about this (maybe b/c it didn't come from him). Now I just feel depressed, I guess that whether or not it was a set-up or not, I'm afraid he's getting divorced b/c I broke up with him. What I thought I wanted at one time, I no longer want. I don't know how to get rid of this feeling of dread and guilt.His marriage is not your problem. His divorce is not your fault. Believe that.
OWoman Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 I don't think it's a set up. I thought the email he forwarded me from her might be a set-up. But I don't have the same feeling of distrust about this (maybe b/c it didn't come from him). Now I just feel depressed, I guess that whether or not it was a set-up or not, I'm afraid he's getting divorced b/c I broke up with him. What I thought I wanted at one time, I no longer want. I don't know how to get rid of this feeling of dread and guilt. Nadia if it was that simple to MAKE a MM D his W, would there be so many OW on this board hanging around waiting for him to make that move? I don't believe for a moment you MADE him do that. Perhaps it simply hastened what was his plan all along - he saw what the impact was of having someone he wanted on hold until she lost patience, and he's decided to take himself in hand. Or perhaps, as you suggested, it was all W's timing, and she's just now finally ready for the next step. Or perhaps it's all just coincidence, that this was something that had been planned long ago, and it's only happening now and come to your attention. The timing is impeccable. A week or two earlier and it would have undermined all of your conviction and you'd be hanging in there hopefully for him. At least now you've had the space to make an honest call on whether you want him or not. Perhaps he did do it with the hope of snaring you again. But if it doesn't work, that's his loss, not yours. And certainly not his W's!
Author nadiaj2727 Posted November 5, 2007 Author Posted November 5, 2007 OWoman, that's true. Maybe the one true thing he's always been telling me is that he knows he needs to get divorced and that he is going to do that with or without me. I really hope that's the case, because then in a way I helped him more than hurt him (in terms of wrecking his marriage) even though I no longer want to be with him. Or, maybe he didn't really believe that himself but he thinks getting divorced is the only way to be with me. The other day when I said, "you need to start getting over your feelings for me," he said, "You can't tell me what to do with my feelings, I don't want to get over them. When I'm divorced I *will* ask you out, and it's up to you whether you go out with me or not." From that perspective I can see it being a big rush to hurry up and get divorced, to show me that he was serious and that now he can be with me. What makes me feel better is that it's still too late for my standards. If he really wanted to get divorced all on his own, of course also to be with me, he should have gotten a move on it right away. I would have always wondered if he left her to be with me, and that would be an enormous amount of pressure, especially when he's already very clingy/ co-dependent/ needy/ insecure, etc. I don't want to be his reason for doing anything. So if I am, oh well, at least I won't have to spend more time in a relationship with him wondering about his true motives and the reasons behind his actions. (If I don't know this, I shouldn't be with him. Period.) And if I'm not the real reason, then good, at least he is finally doing what he always said he wanted to do, and that makes me feel even better. At least he is not one of those guys who runs back to his W as soon as OW breaks it off... I guess that would be very slimy.
norajane Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Hm, I don't really know how getting a ring appraisal has anything to do with getting a divorce. It's not like that's included in the joint marital assets for division...her rings are hers, not theirs, and his ring is his, not theirs. And if she were thinking of selling them, I highly doubt he would be receiving the appraisal report. I think it's more likely for insurance purposes.
sillygirl32 Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 but, I believe, that all states wedding rings are considered "gifts" and are not including in divorce proceedings. I am currently going through a divorce and know that all of my jewlrey that STXH had given to me, along with my wedding rings, were not even brought into the division of assets. The only reason I would have ever sent my H a faxed copy of my appraisal for my wedding rings would be because we were shopping around for new insurance.... so - I hate to say- but it may have had nothing to do with a possible divorce.
sillygirl32 Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Looks like nj and I were posting at the same time because we said the same thing.....
Author nadiaj2727 Posted November 5, 2007 Author Posted November 5, 2007 No, you didn't burst my bubble, I was just confused about the meaning of this and that sheds some light on it. I thought that if a couple was getting divorced, the wife would want to get her rings appraised since she'll no longer be wearing them. Unless she wants to hang on to them for sentimental value... but if what he's said is true, they've had a bad past and I can't imagine her wanting to hang onto a symbolic memory of the past. I thought she was thinking of selling her wedding rings because he is hurrying up their divorce. The thought makes me sad, I guess it's tied into the guilt I have of being a reason he left her. I didn't want her to experience any pain because of me. From what he says, she's an alcoholic who treats him badly and belittled him. But I know there are two sides to every story and I started to realize that maybe she is just a woman who made some mistakes but doesn't want to get divorced, and that makes me feel horrible.
CAT100 Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 I am so depressed right now, I feel like I ruined their marriage and I also broke his heart. Well I dont think you can ruin a marriage single handedly! Hes the one that said the vows etc etc so whilst you may have been complicit in the marriage breakdown by getting involved, most of the fault is with him IMO
sillygirl32 Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 People are allowed to make their own choices in life... I guess that I am hanging on to our wedding rings, not for some sentimental value, but just in case a monetary "emergency" comes up in the future, but for no reason would I be sending my STXH the appraisal if we were going through a D. Be careful - I left when I found out my H had OW on the side. He NEVER admitted it and I am aware of some of the "horrible" things he had to say about me to OW. It just so happens that he has no one to back up those "horrible" things when it came down to it. He couldv'e taken the higher road and just told me that he wanted out of our marriage, regardless of finding someone else, but he didn't and has caused a tremendous amount of pain for me, our children and our friends and families and probably the OW too. Good luck....
Author nadiaj2727 Posted November 5, 2007 Author Posted November 5, 2007 sillygirl wrote-- Be careful - I left when I found out my H had OW on the side. He NEVER admitted it and I am aware of some of the "horrible" things he had to say about me to OW. It just so happens that he has no one to back up those "horrible" things when it came down to it. He couldv'e taken the higher road and just told me that he wanted out of our marriage, regardless of finding someone else, but he didn't and has caused a tremendous amount of pain for me, our children and our friends and families and probably the OW too. I understand what you're saying and I realize now that it's so true. At first he had me convinced that she came home and drank every night and was cruel to him. He said she emotionally abused him. I felt so bad for him and felt like he deserved a relationship filled with love. He told me she never shared any of his hobbies with him and that she was not interested in anything he did. But I started to see otherwise-- for instance, he gave a presentation at work about a climbing trip he went on, and she came to see it. Some other women at work were asking her how she deals with being apart from him when he's on 2 month trips and she said she only gets worried when they are too high up in the mountains for him to be able to call her every day like he normally would and let her know he's okay. It broke my heart to hear her talking about her H with such genuine-sounding care and pride, as a W should. When I told him, he scoffed and said he only called her once the whole trip. He said if he were with me it would be a different story -- he'd call me every single day. It made me wonder if she was lying to the women at work to preserve appearances or if he was lying to me about not calling her, because *both* couldn't be true. And even if his version was true, it made me feel disgusted at him for not calling his wife to check in with her when he was on a dangerous expedition, and bragging that it would be different with me. I've had several occasions to observe her b/c we're all in the same line of work and sometimes she'd come to the office, etc. I realized she was a real person who had feelings and had gotten married for a reason. I know appearances/ people putting on airs can be deceiving (he certainly deceived me with appearances), but she seems to be a genuinely nice person who everyone thinks is just great. It annoys him that everyone likes her and says he's got such a nice wife when "she's so mean" to him. When he over-reacted to things I said (for instance, he would say "how can you hurt me so badly?" when I would bring up a negative feeling about our relationship or something I would like changed), I realized that maybe one day he would say *I* was emotionally abusing him too, just because he took my sincere attempts to let him know what I was feeling so personally and over- sensitively. It was like he could never be wrong about anything and if I accused him of any negative action I was "hurting" him. He's also told me that he never loved her like he should have when they got married, that he spent their honeymoon playing basketball and surfing with the locals instead of being with her, that he never gave her the emotional support she deserved, and that she should be with someone who could make her happy like he can't. So I thought, well no wonder she became angry and bitter, if in fact she did. And why would he marry someone he doesn't have feelings for and then stay with her for 16 years until he meets me? It really didn't seem like a situation I wanted to be apart of anymore. He always wanted me to do things he liked to do (and admittedly I enjoyed, but they started as his activities) -- such as getting up at 5am and going trail running in the mountains, when I'm definitely not a morning person, and going rock climbing with him, and I began to see that maybe he wanted someone who liked to do everything he likes, but he wasn't that interested in doing things she/ I liked to do. I know she was very involved in horse riding and dogshows and from his own accounts he never participated in any of that with her. And yet he complained that she didn't do his things. It's one of those things where if he didn't work on it with her, what would make him want to work on it with me? If he said bad things about her, which I feel were at least exaggerated if not blown totally out of propotion, what would stop him from one day saying bad things about me to some new girl? It was not at all attractive and one of the reasons I wanted out. I think he's a little too self-interested and he becomes resentful if someone else doesn't make their life all about *him*. I didn't realize that (or a lot of things) at first, because I was blinded by a fantasy that I thought was love. I realized she is very successful and independent, and he enjoyed my ego stroking since I am brand new at this career and looked up to him so much. I'm sure I filled a void for him he felt his wife was never able to... mostly because he didn't even have feelings for her (so he says) and he didn't put any effort into their relationship. It seems like he wanted her to be "oh honey, you're so great" all the time, like I was in the beginning.
imstunned Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 he gave a presentation at work about a climbing trip he went on, and she came to see it. Some other women at work were asking her how she deals with being apart from him when he's on 2 month trips and she said she only gets worried when they are too high up in the mountains for him to be able to call her every day like he normally would and let her know he's okay. It broke my heart to hear her talking about her H with such genuine-sounding care and pride, as a W should. When I told him, he scoffed and said he only called her once the whole trip. He said if he were with me it would be a different story -- he'd call me every single day. It made me wonder if she was lying to the women at work to preserve appearances or if he was lying to me about not calling her, because *both* couldn't be true. And even if his version was true, it made me feel disgusted at him for not calling his wife to check in with her when he was on a dangerous expedition, and bragging that it would be different with me. I find it so so weird that your MM IS a clmiber and my ex MM pretended to be the kind of climber that he is. Weird! Sorry - not really relevant to your post - lol - but I just think its sooo weird! x
TogetherForever Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Is there any possibility that the wife is looking into an upgrade of her current wedding rings?
whichwayisup Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 sillygirl wrote-- Be careful - I left when I found out my H had OW on the side. He NEVER admitted it and I am aware of some of the "horrible" things he had to say about me to OW. It just so happens that he has no one to back up those "horrible" things when it came down to it. He couldv'e taken the higher road and just told me that he wanted out of our marriage, regardless of finding someone else, but he didn't and has caused a tremendous amount of pain for me, our children and our friends and families and probably the OW too. I understand what you're saying and I realize now that it's so true. At first he had me convinced that she came home and drank every night and was cruel to him. He said she emotionally abused him. I felt so bad for him and felt like he deserved a relationship filled with love. He told me she never shared any of his hobbies with him and that she was not interested in anything he did. But I started to see otherwise-- for instance, he gave a presentation at work about a climbing trip he went on, and she came to see it. Some other women at work were asking her how she deals with being apart from him when he's on 2 month trips and she said she only gets worried when they are too high up in the mountains for him to be able to call her every day like he normally would and let her know he's okay. It broke my heart to hear her talking about her H with such genuine-sounding care and pride, as a W should. When I told him, he scoffed and said he only called her once the whole trip. He said if he were with me it would be a different story -- he'd call me every single day. It made me wonder if she was lying to the women at work to preserve appearances or if he was lying to me about not calling her, because *both* couldn't be true. And even if his version was true, it made me feel disgusted at him for not calling his wife to check in with her when he was on a dangerous expedition, and bragging that it would be different with me. I've had several occasions to observe her b/c we're all in the same line of work and sometimes she'd come to the office, etc. I realized she was a real person who had feelings and had gotten married for a reason. I know appearances/ people putting on airs can be deceiving (he certainly deceived me with appearances), but she seems to be a genuinely nice person who everyone thinks is just great. It annoys him that everyone likes her and says he's got such a nice wife when "she's so mean" to him. When he over-reacted to things I said (for instance, he would say "how can you hurt me so badly?" when I would bring up a negative feeling about our relationship or something I would like changed), I realized that maybe one day he would say *I* was emotionally abusing him too, just because he took my sincere attempts to let him know what I was feeling so personally and over- sensitively. It was like he could never be wrong about anything and if I accused him of any negative action I was "hurting" him. He's also told me that he never loved her like he should have when they got married, that he spent their honeymoon playing basketball and surfing with the locals instead of being with her, that he never gave her the emotional support she deserved, and that she should be with someone who could make her happy like he can't. So I thought, well no wonder she became angry and bitter, if in fact she did. And why would he marry someone he doesn't have feelings for and then stay with her for 16 years until he meets me? It really didn't seem like a situation I wanted to be apart of anymore. He always wanted me to do things he liked to do (and admittedly I enjoyed, but they started as his activities) -- such as getting up at 5am and going trail running in the mountains, when I'm definitely not a morning person, and going rock climbing with him, and I began to see that maybe he wanted someone who liked to do everything he likes, but he wasn't that interested in doing things she/ I liked to do. I know she was very involved in horse riding and dogshows and from his own accounts he never participated in any of that with her. And yet he complained that she didn't do his things. It's one of those things where if he didn't work on it with her, what would make him want to work on it with me? If he said bad things about her, which I feel were at least exaggerated if not blown totally out of propotion, what would stop him from one day saying bad things about me to some new girl? It was not at all attractive and one of the reasons I wanted out. I think he's a little too self-interested and he becomes resentful if someone else doesn't make their life all about *him*. I didn't realize that (or a lot of things) at first, because I was blinded by a fantasy that I thought was love. I realized she is very successful and independent, and he enjoyed my ego stroking since I am brand new at this career and looked up to him so much. I'm sure I filled a void for him he felt his wife was never able to... mostly because he didn't even have feelings for her (so he says) and he didn't put any effort into their relationship. It seems like he wanted her to be "oh honey, you're so great" all the time, like I was in the beginning. This is fantastic, and what I mean by fantastic is, you now "see" him for who he is. You have so much insight into your situation, him and this is what you need to remember if you ever find yourself missing him, or wanting anything from him.
Author nadiaj2727 Posted November 5, 2007 Author Posted November 5, 2007 TF wrote: Is there any possibility that the wife is looking into an upgrade of her current wedding rings? Ha ha, I never thought of that. That doesn't seem to make sense since he moved out. I guess he could have gone back to her and said "let's work it out" after I broke up with him, all the while begging me to stay with him... all in an attempt to keep stringing us both along. And maybe he was so grateful that she took him back that he suggested the upgrade. I don't know, lol, at this point, anything's possible and I never know what's going on with him!!! What do you think about this? The other day, after he kept calling me and asking me questions, I told him we needed to have one final conversation so that he could get out any last questions or clarifications, etc., and then he couldn't contact me anymore at all. He wanted to do it face to face instead of on the phone. (Of course). He wanted to come to my house. I said no, b/c I don't want him there anymore. He would be playing with my dogs and never leaving. So I suggested a cafe down the street. He said, "No, I don't want to cry at a cafe." (Oh please) "I don't want to do it in a public place." I said, "Okay then, I'll go over there if you don't want to come here or go anywhere public." He said, "To the condo?", sounding kind of surprised. (Where he's been staying since he moved out of their house in May). I was like, "Yes, if that's where you're still living," (thinking, maybe he rented a more permanent place where he could bring his dogs, like he'd kept saying he was going to do since he first moved into this temporary place). He said, "What does that mean?" all defensively. I thought, hmmm, maybe something's up. I said, "Where are you?" and he said the name of the street that he and his wife's house is on as well as where his condo is. So he could have been at either. I didn't want to press the issue because I just don't care much at this point, if he's at their house for whatever reason, good, and if he isn't, good, I honestly don't care except out of curiosity and astonishment at what he might do next lol. He told me not to come over that evening, to come over the next morning instead, so we'd have "more time" to talk, which I thought was strange b/c he used to have nothing to do but sit around in the condo and ask me to come over. Really I didn't care where we met or where he's living, as long as it wasn't at my house and as long as we could get it over with and stop dragging it out. He said he would call me the next MORNING after he got done running in the mountains... he always gets up and goes really early and is done by like 9 or 10. Noon rolled around and he still hadn't called, and I thought it might be his attempt to make me wait around on him all day, so I sent him a text asking if he still wanted to talk or if we should just skip it and start having no contact. He texted me back and said he had just gotten off the mountain (highly unlikely) and was driving back. He asked when/where was good with me and I said let me know when you're at the condo and I'll come over to talk. He said, "I have to drive right by your place, shouldn't I just stop on my way?" I said, no, I didn't want him to come to my place. He said he would call me when he was at his condo, and a little while later he did. When I got there, he was parked in the back parking lot instead of in the driveway like normal. He was sitting on the back curb waiting for me. *I* always parked in the back in case his friend Steve (whose parents own the condo he's temporarily renting) happened to stop by, he wouldn't see my car. This was the first time *he* had ever parked in the back. I said, "Why are you sitting out here?" (also odd) and he said, "Just waiting for you to get here." I said, "Then why are you parked in the back?" and he said, "Oh, just in case Steve decides to stop by for some reason." It made no sense to me. I was thinking maybe he'd moved back in with his W and he didn't want anyone to see his car there when he was not supposed to be living there any more. We went inside and I was expecting the place to be cleaned out, but his normal stuff (not that much... a lot is still at his wife's house) was still there. It was the oddest thing. As we were sitting at the table talking, his cell phone rang and he was like, "Oh, that's Steve," and he turned it off without answering (I didn't see who was calling). Then there was a knock at the door!!!! Now mind you his friend Steve is the only person who ever knew he was staying there, and in all the days I went over there, Steve had never showed up at the door. MM ignored it and Steve or whoever was really at the door went away. He said, "how strange." I said, "Look, obviously you were expecting someone to show up, or else why did you park in the back instead of the driveway?" Then he said, "Oh, Steve had mentioned something earlier [when he was up on the mountain??!] about possibly doing something today and I had a feeling he might drop by." But before he told me he had parked in the back on the "OFF" chance that Steve would "HAPPEN" to drop by... why not just tell me this new version of the story in the first place?? I really didn't know what to make of it, and I don't care b/c now we are done having any contact and that's what I wanted. I just can't figure out why he was being so secretive. It's crossed my mind that he told his W where he was living (before, she knew the condo complex but not his specific one) and he knew she might stop by to check it out? Or else he told someone else where he was living. B/c if it was really his friend Steve, why wouldn't he have just told him he had plans and he would call him when he was done with them? And why wouldn't he have told me the second story the first time I asked about the jeep? I don't know. I just can't figure him out and I'm glad I don't have to anymore.
Author nadiaj2727 Posted November 5, 2007 Author Posted November 5, 2007 WWIU wrote: This is fantastic, and what I mean by fantastic is, you now "see" him for who he is. You have so much insight into your situation, him and this is what you need to remember if you ever find yourself missing him, or wanting anything from him. Thanks, you're right, it is fantastic. I don't know why I wanted to rescue him from his bad situation in the first place. Now I realize it's better to find someone who's already in a happy situation, just single and ready to share it with someone else. I wish I didn't always think about him and waver back and forth between hating him, feeling sorry for him, still having some feelings for him (as stupid as that is), etc. I wish I could just tell myself "he's a loser, and that's that", and be done with it.
whichwayisup Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 I wish I could just tell myself "he's a loser, and that's that", and be done with it. Keep telling yourself this and one day you'll believe it.
OWoman Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 I just can't figure out why he was being so secretive. It's crossed my mind that he told his W where he was living (before, she knew the condo complex but not his specific one) and he knew she might stop by to check it out? Or else he told someone else where he was living. B/c if it was really his friend Steve, why wouldn't he have just told him he had plans and he would call him when he was done with them? And why wouldn't he have told me the second story the first time I asked about the jeep? Or his new GF? Perhaps he parked at the back so she wouldn't know he was there, having spun her some story about having to go somewhere else, after their morning activities. Either way, it's clear he's not prepared to be honest with you even during your "final" conversation, when he really would have nothing to lose by coming clean (and, possibly, some respect to regain by doing so). That's pretty sad.
PoshPrincess Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 Nadia, don't blame yourself for their break-up. If it was going to happen then it would have happened sooner or later anyway, with or without your involvement. If his M was that good then he wouldn't have got involved with you in the first place. Just be grateful that you no longer want him. Some of us haven't been that lucky! His D (or not, as the case may be) is nothing for you to concern yourself with now. You are free to move on! Lots of luck x
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 UGH!! This loser is one of the biggest LYING A*SSHOLES on God's green earth. Enough already!!! Remove the lying scumbag from your life and be DONE with it.
frannie Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 nadia, even if it turns out he is getting divorced, you need to remember: a) This is not your fault, nor your responsibility. b) You don't have to see him, or explain or justify yourself to him. c) You should not feel bad or worried in any way about this. You just keep on doing what you're doing and leave him in the past.
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