Ursula Coyote Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Please…I really need some coping strategies. The one who hurt me/cheated on me literally lives next door. How can I cope with the emotional roller coaster and the loss when I have to see him so regularly? How can I try to move on when I see who he is sleeping with. I’m really shattered by his cheating and am absolutely devastated. How can I try to get over it when it’s in my face all the time? UC
Scorpio13c Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 Hi Urban, Any reason you can't move somewhere else?
NocturnalRaids Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 That or major in philosophy. Thats what I'm gonna do anyway.
Valrad Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 Keep yourself busy...and in the meantime see what you can do about moving elsewhere. My favorite thing to do is having sex and the city marathons they always make my day. But keep yourself busy. Hang out with your girlfriends. Get out of the house. Start running off your pain. Itll be a good stress relief plus youll get in good shape. By the time you realize you are begining to cope and move on, youll be in hott shape.
Author Ursula Coyote Posted November 6, 2007 Author Posted November 6, 2007 I'm afraid that moving is NOT an option. I live on a farm.....and that is a part of the problem. I can't get away as much as I would like, I have to be here to look after the farm. I have no choice but to see what he's doing. It's so so hard. I feel like my heart has been crushed and discarded like a piece of trash.
bigheartkindsoul Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 in time you won't care but I understand this must be really hard for you to see daily. Keeping busy is a great thing, I did this anyway to aid my healing from heartbreak. Other than that move? ignore? or start doing monkey see monkey do?
Twirley Girl Posted November 8, 2007 Posted November 8, 2007 I learned today that turning up the radio / TV really loud is a nice way to drowned out the sound of car doors and pulling the garbage cans up from the curb. (If you hear less you're less tempted to look out the window). I also learned that running the dishwasher at strategic times also drowns out noise. And if you yell (OUTLOUD) "I AM NOT LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW!" at yourself each time you're tempted, it works. Just some suggestions. Its either that or never be home or move. Distract and ignore. Good luck.
angel v Posted November 9, 2007 Posted November 9, 2007 urban coyote, i understand totally what you're feeling, i am feeling it too - my ex comes frequently to visit the children, and i have to smile and pretend to be nice, and he tells me when he will be unable to come, (because he is with his new girlfriend), and we have to exchange calendars to arrange childcare (so i see who he is with)... it sucks. it is not fair. we can either fall apart & rot away, or pull ourselves together & work hard at making life BETTER than it ever was with such a cheater in our lives. you are so lucky to be rid of him, YOU are the lucky one to be free of someone so careless. it can be so hard to see that, but i try to keep in mind that any 'problem' is only an opportunity for something better. it is up to you, & me, to create that something better. i live on 20acres & understand the need to be there. have you thought of finding someone to move in/share? Spare room, caravan, etc, or arrange for supportive friend/s to visit? For the first month i fully booked myself with having understanding people around & available. (in person, on phone, on email). Next, i painted/fixed up an old caravan and am arranging someone to stay in it. I like the WWOOF organisation. Do you have any hobbies/interests you could get involved in? Do whatever you have always wanted to do. Do something outrageous. Do anything, just keep busy & find some joy & fulfillment in life. you will start to fill your mind with new things again. and in exploring new things, you will discover a new strength within you.
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