Monty P Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 I originally posted this in the Friends and Lovers section "did I miss my chance", but after spending a little more time reading other sections on LS, I'm thinking that it might be more appropriate here. For those that have read the original post, I am sorry that it was so long. This is as short as I can get it and hopefully still have enough pertinent info. I have been friends with this girl for almost 13 years and have been close friends for almost 10 years. We lost touch for a couple years but have reconnected roughly 1 year or so ago. I have had a bit of a thing for her for almost 8 years. We are still close friends. We talk on the phone almost every day, and get together usually a couple of times a week and just hang out.(dinners, drinks, movies in, etc). We are both a bit flirty with each other when we get together but it has always been "friendly flirting" and doesn't ever lead to anything. A little over two months or so ago, it did start to feel like things were progressing towards something more. Then, one night, instead of just the long, never ending hug at the end of the night, we actually kissed. Nothing hot and heavy, but more than friendly. The next few weeks weren't really any different than normal except for allot more good night kisses. Then their was one night that felt different again, and that was the night I asked her to go out with me. She never said yes or no, but I did tell her that she could think about it if she wanted to. Over the next 10 days, she told me about the guy that she was dating (for almost two years), AND broke up with that guy, and that their was no emotional attachment to him, he was just too wierd..... This was over a month ago, and as far as I know, I haven't actually got an answer yet. Due to schedule changes with both of us, we haven't been getting together as much we had been up to that point. We still talk on the phone almost every day, and do get together when ever we can, but nothing has ever been said about it since. About two weeks ago was the first time we have actually kissed goodnight since then. Their was a (somewhat botched on my part) romantic evening a few weeks after I asked her out, and their have been more than a few nights (including a couple of nights ago) where things, I think, could have went somewhere. But not being sure where we actually are, I don't know for sure that they actually could have, and I haven't pushed anything. It does still feel like their is something else here but, because of how we have been with each other, and the fact that I am clueless with signs / signals, (not to mention that I seem to have recently misplaced my cahones) I haven't been able to tell if she is just waiting for me to make another move or not, or if I have already got my answer and what that answer was. I am not sure where to go or how to proceed from here. I know that we will always be friends regardless, but if their is actually more, I don't want to push her away because I was dumb. I'm sure I missed a few things here but I will be grateful for ANYTHING that can be offered. Thanks MP
bigheartkindsoul Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Not sure really Ask her? or ask her out on a date and see how she responds? (make it clear it is a romantic date)
Lyssa Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 I think 13 years is long enough for you to know her. Have you tried talking to her about how you feel about her? This is me - I only kiss a guy if I am interested in him. It doesn't matter if it was friendly or passionate, I will only kiss the guy I am interested in. I don't know about her but the best bet is to ask her out and maybe slip in a bit about what you want from this 'friendship'.
Author Monty P Posted November 6, 2007 Author Posted November 6, 2007 Thank you both for your replies. I have actually been working with the idea of just asking her out on a date again. The part I seem to keep getting stuck on, is how to actually bring it up again. I know just blurting it out in the middle of a conversation is probably not the way to go. Considering how much stumbling I did the first time, I would like to be able to do it a little bit better the second time around. I know she is the same as you are lyssa as far as the kissing thing, witch, believe it or not, is one of the reasons for the all head scratching I have been doing lately. This is one of the things that make me fairly sure their is something more here, but their is the occasional night or two where she would say or do something that makes me think the complete opposite.
Lyssa Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 The part I seem to keep getting stuck on, is how to actually bring it up again. Why is that? What do you mean by 'how'? Is she really busy or are you nervous.. no right time to ask?
Author Monty P Posted November 6, 2007 Author Posted November 6, 2007 Why is that? What do you mean by 'how'? Is she really busy or are you nervous.. no right time to ask? Kind of yes to her being busy, yes to -no right time- I know that timing, even the second time around, is still important. Their just doesn't seem to be any right times or opportunity's lately. She has been a bit stressed over the last few weeks because of work, and has had alot less free time because of school. When we talk on the phone or do have a chance to get together, it usually ends up her venting about work, or watching a movie at her place and her falling asleep half way through. I do try to bring up other things to talk about besides work. But for what ever reason, asking her to go out on a date never seems to be appropriate. Does that make any sence?
Recommended Posts