we're both in relationships, but experiencing intense chemistry

[lawgalkv]

Looking for some advice of course,

 

I am in a serious relationship (live-in boyfriend), in our early twenties. We have a great relationship, take good care of each other, still romantically stimulated, have similar financial and life goals etc. We aren't married or engaged, but heading that way. Another man in my life and I share amazing, undeniable chemistry. He too is in a pretty serious relationship (although not engaged/married). He has approached me that he is ready to leave her for me. I can't deny our chemistry, but at the same time I cannot hurt my boyfriend. I feel the only reason I may even be considering this is because I am not engaged or married yet....maybe I want to venture to this man to assure i have no regrets?

 

I have not acted on this chemistry yet. And i'm seeking advice. Do i get to know the other man better (without physical intimacy of course) to find out who I belong with? or do i avoid the other man and stick to my current boyfriend?

 

please advise

[norajane]

Neither. You make a decision about the relationship you're in - do you love this man and are you interested in a future with him? If this other dude with the chemistry vibe hadn't come along, would you be at all thinking about leaving your bf?

 

If you love him and wouldn't have considered leaving, then you have to realize that you will be attracted to people your whole life. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you're dead and you no longer notice anyone else. But what people who are committed to their partners do when they feel that attraction is to just ignore it and let it die.

 

If you don't love your bf, and were already considering whether you should leave him, then deal with that issue without considering this other guy. If you end up leaving, then you will know you left for the right reasons - because you aren't right for each other and wouldn't be happy in the long run. Then you take some time ON YOUR OWN and get through the break-up fallout before starting to date anyone else. It's not fair to the new guy to rebound right into his arms...

 

Never leave a relationship for anyone else. Leave a relationship only because it's not right for you.

[Bryanp]

How would you feel if your boyfriend was thinking of doing what you are doing?

[zilverenvlinder]

You're going to regret giving up a good, solid thing for some flingy crush when you're crying yourself to sleep, lonely and sad.

[Blue Eyed Brain]

If you have any doubts about your live-in bf, then I would definitely explore others, letting your bf know that you need to take it slower, a break or separation.

[reboot]

If you have any doubts about your live-in bf, then I would definitely explore others, letting your bf know that you need to take it slower, a break or separation.

I am in a serious relationship (live-in boyfriend), in our early twenties. We have a great relationship, take good care of each other, still romantically stimulated, have similar financial and life goals etc. We aren't married or engaged, but heading that way.

She isn't having doubts about her boyfriend, she's just gotten infatuated with another guy. Grownups learn to deal with such things in a constructive way. We can be attracted to someone else without having to act on it.

[Phateless]

She isn't having doubts about her boyfriend, she's just gotten infatuated with another guy. Grownups learn to deal with such things in a constructive way. We can be attracted to someone else without having to act on it.

 

Well said. Tough call... only the OP knows. She just has to do some soul-searching.