guilt_and_regret Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Hi, I've posted very intermittently on these boards as I've gone through my (very painful) divorce earlier this year, and since that time I've gone through the sometimes laborious process of getting back on my own two feet. I'm a man in my mid-to-late twenties. About three months after the dissolution of my marriage, I ended up becoming romantically involved with a close female friend who I'd been spending a lot of time with. I didn't have any intentions with her, I guess we just got close and it just sort of happened. She was afraid at the time of being the rebound girl, and I was scared of the same thing and we talked about it extensively. She said that she understood the risks, but wanted to see where things went with us anyways, that she couldn't help herself. Anyways, we've been together for about 2 1/2 months since then, and I'm finding myself kind of scared and confused. I have heard from so many people (and it's no doubt quite true) that I should be on my own for a period, date around, don't get into anything too serious, etc. But I seem to have taken the opposite course of action and find myself wondering things like...."is this doomed to failure?", "am I going to wake up one day and feel trapped?", and so on. Right now I really enjoy being with her, and actually feel like I'm falling in love, against my best interests. But can this be a healthy relationship when my wound from my previous relationship is still not fully healed? I don't want to get back with my ex under any circumstances, but I do still think of her and our life together and feel undefinably sad. Is it possible to develop very real and lasting feelings for a new partner, while still mourning the loss of an old one? Or, should I not think in such grand terms, and just enjoy what I have now, without trying to figure out what the future holds?
amaysngrace Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 My BF and I hooked up with fresh wounds. We had both been divorced within four months of meeting each other. I like to look at it this way. Had we been married we'd have never given the other the time of day. It's the way we both are. But as fate would have it, we met after both of our divorces were finalized. And we live three blocks away from each other. Yet we never met. Maybe your marriage ended to free up room for this girl. You just never know.
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