BrianG Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Hey its been a while because I have been reading threads to get by. About 5 days NC. 5.5 years together and living together, she moved about because i broke her trust. never cheated but lied. We were supposed to go to a concert together tonight but she broke up with me and moved out of the apartment. We bought tickets to go to 2 concerts together, a past one and this one, while i was at the other one she texted me about how it was after she broke up with me. I want to do the same because i want to talk to her first of all and I want to get her back even though she probably isnt thinking about it the way I am. I dont want her to forget about me. Here is a reason to contact her even thought everybody on here and friends have told me not too. but i want to talk to her so bad. Please help!!!!! she is the love of my life and nc and doing nothing but working on myself is killing me not talking to her.
MattyTee Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Hey Brian, I feel for you buddy. I'm not going to tell you not to break your NC but I will tell you that you need to be able to face whatever happens if you do. I broke NC last week and I got closure (obviously not what I wanted) - she said she didn't love me any more and I got a whole lot more than that. I'm heartbroken all over again and am walking away from the situation. All I'm saying is be prepared
pinktiger Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Matty, my ex wanted to be my friend and he does not understand why I am still sad since it has been 4 weeks. Does it mean he never loved me before? Why is it so hard for him to understand that love hurts?
Author BrianG Posted November 5, 2007 Author Posted November 5, 2007 i dont know, she texted me about the prior concert that we were supposed to go too. "saying how is pinback :(",...she texted me that after she broke up with me and i really want to text back the same thing about the band we were supposed to see tonight. i probably might not get a response, but i dont care really, what do i have to loose? she is the love of my life and as each day of nc passes i feel her slipping futher and further away. I feel like i need to do something. I also want to email her friends but i heard that is a no no because i dont want to push her even farther away. i already know we are broken up because she has moved out her stuff, etc. after 5 years together. I cannot give up though, if you love someone you will do whatever it takes, guess just having a hard time letting go maybe, so confused
alwayshurt Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Brian, I would go for it. I would text her but keep it very low. Just a simple and short message to test the field. If she doesn't answer, stop contacting her and move on.
Author BrianG Posted November 5, 2007 Author Posted November 5, 2007 well i just did it, ***k it, i just want her to be happy and what do i have to lose, if she doesnt respond then i just have to move on. i want her to be happy but i want to be happy also and i deeply love her and do not think i could be happy being just friends with someone whom i wanted to be my wife. I am sad but realistic in that i know myself well enough to know i would not be able to handle being just friends. I would love to have the opportunity to make things right with her as a person for lying to her but i think it would just killing me internally seeing someone who is so great and having the opportunity to be with her and screwing it up, but that is the past and i think i just have to work on my character flaws and just make myself happy. Just having a hard time forgiving myself for the biggest mistake of my life. She has not responded and i pretty much knew she wouldn't i guess i just have to LET GO
MattyTee Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Hey Brian, I'm not saying that NC is the way to go necessarily. You have to go with your heart in the end but I would make sure that you give yourself some time to reach a decision. If you meditate (or want to try) then give that a go. Don't feel alone in this. Letting go is incredibly difficult. I still can't and I've heard those dreaded words: "I don't love you anymore". Just let it take the time it takes. All I'm saying is that I want you to be aware of what might happen, I'm not saying you should give up. I just want you to be ready for it... As always says - keep it short and simple if you do send anything. Try not to be needy or pushy. I believe when I did that I pushed my ex away. Keep strong Brian. Go with your heart.
MattyTee Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Matty, my ex wanted to be my friend and he does not understand why I am still sad since it has been 4 weeks. Does it mean he never loved me before? Why is it so hard for him to understand that love hurts? Hey Pink, I really feel for you, you know *hugs*. The truthful answer is I don't know. It has been three months for me and I'm not over my ex. It will just take the time it takes. I'm sorry, I know that isn't what you want to hear. I think being friends is possible but when one person has moved on and the other hasn't then it's a bad idea. I'm saying this from experience because I sort of tried this again. I then found out she likes someone new and my heart cracked all over again! I'm sure that he did love you. He might be bottling up feelings, he might understand very well the hurt you are going through but to protect himself he needs to put a boundary there. Pink, this is time for you. You need to focus your love back on to you. Start putting your foot down about what you need. Okay, so he wants to be friends. If you feel you can do that then do, if not then don't and just be open about it. I had to say to my ex "I'm sorry I can't. I love you and I can't put myself through that pain". I had to realise that I need to look after myself rather than dragging my own sorry backside through all that misery. Maybe one day in the future you can be friends, but it sounds like it would be too hard for you now.
Author BrianG Posted November 5, 2007 Author Posted November 5, 2007 okay, asked her how is thursday? (band) her response:not on yet:( u should have went i would have given u ur ticket my message back: should have but wanted 2 go with u, not just u in the same room, sorry shouldnt have texted her response: its ok i agree about the same room thing - hope your ok my response: hope your ok as well, enjoy the show her response: thanks i appreciate you letting me go to the show nite Any input or comments? i figured that was the response i would get, gotta go back to nc and move on i guess, well i guess it was worth a shot.
MattyTee Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Okay Pink - my email if you want to get hold of me is mjctaylor at btopenworld.com (obviously without the spaces and using @ instead of at).
MattyTee Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 Hope you are okay Pink, not heard from you. Please feel free to contact me if you feel like you need to.
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