Love Jones Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 If the person you are seeing..... 1. Will only have sex doggystyle 2. Finds it hard to commit to something - ie what time he will call you or meet you 3. Is evasive about his past 4. Wants to know everything about your life and your past but can't talk about his own 5. Can only talk about emotional stuff with his head turned away from you 6. Calls often but never calls when he says he will What is going on with him?
LoisLane Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 Not only is he that, he's also psychotic. Which movie did you get him from?
Author Love Jones Posted November 4, 2007 Author Posted November 4, 2007 Not only is he that, he's also psychotic. Which movie did you get him from? Unfortunately this is the man I'm currently seeing....
compassion42 Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 I doubt he's a serial killer but he definitely has some intimacy issues.
marlena Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 He sounds like a man with a lot of secrets. Not at all upfront. Prepare for lies and manipulation. Walk away now while the going's still good.
Author Love Jones Posted November 4, 2007 Author Posted November 4, 2007 Is it wisest to ignore his calls from now on and act like he doesn't exist?
ThesinPride Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 He sounds like a man with a lot of secrets. Not at all upfront. Prepare for lies and manipulation. Walk away now while the going's still good. This is indeed possible, to be fair and on the flip side of that though it's also possible that he has done stupid or careless things in his past relationships or just his past in general. Sounds like he has trouble being intimate, being able to trust, and has low self esteem. His inability to make contact even during sex could mean that he is afraid of you seeing something there you may not like. It could just be a matter of he is very insecure and not comfortable with himself.
marlena Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 LJ, How long have you known him? How did you two meet? I would be cautious and on the watch for more red flags. Trust your gut instinct. It rarely misleads you. To me, it sounds like he is hiding things...perhaps a severe personality disorder. Of course, I can't really know but something sounds fishy here.
Author Love Jones Posted November 4, 2007 Author Posted November 4, 2007 His inability to make contact even during sex could mean that he is afraid of you seeing something there you may not like. . Such as? Him turning into a werewolf or something? I'm also wondering if this might have to do with his penis size? He has what I think is called "micro penis" by the medical profession (penis is approx 2 inches long or less when fully erect)
bigheartkindsoul Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 If the person you are seeing..... 1. Will only have sex doggystyle 2. Finds it hard to commit to something - ie what time he will call you or meet you 3. Is evasive about his past 4. Wants to know everything about your life and your past but can't talk about his own 5. Can only talk about emotional stuff with his head turned away from you 6. Calls often but never calls when he says he will What is going on with him? Might not be a serial killer but most definately is odd, how hooked on him are you? I'd either ask hom WFT is going on or just dump him, and if he asks why list the reasons above Good luck hun x
ThesinPride Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 Such as? Him turning into a werewolf or something? I'm also wondering if this might have to do with his penis size? He has what I think is called "micro penis" by the medical profession (penis is approx 2 inches long or less when fully erect) You can tell a lot from a person from just eye contact: whether or not they are being honest, how they are feeling, etc. Eyes are a big giveaway to a person. As for the other matter.....possible. May be a matter of he is insecure about that, which may make him less confident. Dunno about bringing that subject though, it can be rather sensitive.
whichwayisup Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 Maybe he's married. Eitherway, you need to think about this relationship! You're having thoughts about him being a serial killer!
pollywag Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 It sounds like he might be a dog, which is why he likes it doggystyle. And possibly has two glass eyes, which explains the shifty eyes.
Author Love Jones Posted November 4, 2007 Author Posted November 4, 2007 Maybe he's married. Eitherway, you need to think about this relationship! You're having thoughts about him being a serial killer! Nope, he's not married. I do get the sense that he's very embarrassed about his small penis. I also get the feeling that he has sexual abuse or some kind of sexual ridicule in his past. All he's managed to divulge so far is that his father "abused" him (he felt unable to look into my eyes or face me while telling me this). I do not know whether he means that his father beat him up or perhaps molested him. I do know that his father is a violent alcoholic. The vibe I pick up from him is that he has strong feelings for me. If I wasn't picking up that vibe, I wouldn't still be dealing with him. But he seems to have SEVERE intimacy issues and I'm not sure I want to caught up in this crap. I've done my research and he is not married or in another relationship and as far as I can tell he does not have any kind of criminal past.
marlena Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 Oh, oh!!! I thought this sounded familiar. This could be the source of his complexes and odd behavior. Do you really want to put up with someone who has such serious issues? He may have a small penis but that doesn't justify his looking the other way when talking about anything emotional. The eyes, as another poster pointed out, are indeed the mirrors of the soul, as the saying goes. Red flags, sweetheart. All over the place. If it's early days yet, I think I would walk if I were in your shoes. And not because of the small penis, just to make myself very clear. Still, his inadequacy in this area, may have caused him to have severe self - esteem issues that may lead to even more serious issues - such as repressed anger for instance. The fact that you even ask, "Is he a serail killer?" can only mean that your intuitively you are sensing something very very bad is wrong with him. I hope I am wrong.
ThesinPride Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 Nope, he's not married. I do get the sense that he's very embarrassed about his small penis. I also get the feeling that he has sexual abuse or some kind of sexual ridicule in his past. All he's managed to divulge so far is that his father "abused" him (he felt unable to look into my eyes or face me while telling me this). I do not know whether he means that his father beat him up or perhaps molested him. I do know that his father is a violent alcoholic. The vibe I pick up from him is that he has strong feelings for me. If I wasn't picking up that vibe, I wouldn't still be dealing with him. But he seems to have SEVERE intimacy issues and I'm not sure I want to caught up in this crap. I've done my research and he is not married or in another relationship and as far as I can tell he does not have any kind of criminal past. Could be a few things there. Sexual ridicule? Quite possible given the circumstances. If he was abused(doesn't matter how) it could be another cause. The only thing I can suggest is to try to talk to him about it. It would be hard for him so don't be pushy, but try to get him to open up. He may be acting the way he does because he feels unworthy of your attention. Mind you I'm hardly an expert, but it's worth a shot if you do want to have a relationship with him.
amber1 Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 He actually sounds like a lot of the guys I've met lately.
Starry-eyed Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Just to repeat what others have said, this guy has a lot of damage and you have to ask yourself if you want to deal with that. It will complicate things and possibly lead to drama. You can't fix him, but he can fix himself. However, about the sex thing, have you tried to initiate other positions? One position only can get a little predictable. He might think that doing it from behind hides his penis and then you won't notice. There might be things you could do to reassure him about his penis and that you find him attractive. Avoidance of eye contact, if it's all the time, then it's worrisome. But if it's only ocassionally when he's trying to communicate some intimacy or reveal something private, may be ok. He could be a very private person. Maybe he doesn't feel fully "safe" or comfortable yet to casually reveal things. How long have you been dating?
LoisLane Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Ask him to fix himself and maybe you can fix yourself too. He's clearly insecure in so many ways.
woodsfield Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 he sounds like a jerk that likes to give it from behind.
Author Love Jones Posted November 6, 2007 Author Posted November 6, 2007 Just to repeat what others have said, this guy has a lot of damage and you have to ask yourself if you want to deal with that. It will complicate things and possibly lead to drama. You can't fix him, but he can fix himself. I probably don't want to get caught up in that level of drama. On the rare occasion he does talk about his past/parents he gets really angry and sounds like a resentful little boy. I need to be with someone who has at least done some work towards resolving their issues. He sounds like he hasn't even begun to tackle any of his.... However, about the sex thing, have you tried to initiate other positions? One position only can get a little predictable. He might think that doing it from behind hides his penis and then you won't notice. There might be things you could do to reassure him about his penis and that you find him attractive. 95% of the time he can't get it up, so there hasn't been that much sex Avoidance of eye contact, if it's all the time, then it's worrisome. But if it's only occasionally when he's trying to communicate some intimacy or reveal something private, may be ok. He could be a very private person. Maybe he doesn't feel fully "safe" or comfortable yet to casually reveal things. How long have you been dating? He can make eye contact when we're in a social setting. We've been dating a few months.
dbtmarley Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 Maybe the guy is a great guy with some painful crap that happened to him in the past. Crap that was not of his making or his control. He might only like it doggy because he is thinking about his small penis and does not want to see the disappointment in your face when he sticks it in. His past might involve a lot of pain and misery, of which he wants to put behind him and forget. Perhaps his past has affected his ability to love... or maybe those he loved just ended in painful disappointment. Or he could be.... What everyone else said. Some people never get past their insecurities and past, making them a bad choice for a relationship. Just the way it is.... sucks. I would talk to this guy a little more before you give him the boot. You must really like the guy if you are willing to go the micro route.
Author Love Jones Posted November 6, 2007 Author Posted November 6, 2007 You must really like the guy if you are willing to go the micro route. :eek::D
Starry-eyed Posted November 6, 2007 Posted November 6, 2007 I probably don't want to get caught up in that level of drama. On the rare occasion he does talk about his past/parents he gets really angry and sounds like a resentful little boy. I need to be with someone who has at least done some work towards resolving their issues. He sounds like he hasn't even begun to tackle any of his.... 95% of the time he can't get it up, so there hasn't been that much sex He can make eye contact when we're in a social setting. We've been dating a few months. I would want someone who has started working on his issues already, too. How old is he? Maybe he's young enough that he doesn't really realize he has issues that need working on. If his problems are with his parents, just be aware that could have great impacts for you as well if the two of you developed a long-term relationship. Have you suggested counseling to him? Or just talked about therapy in general? Erectile dysfunction is not good. Perhaps he has a lot of "baggage" about having a small penis. Sex is important to me, so I would not get involved with someone who 95% of the time was dysfunctional, especially if he didn't want to do anything about it. Maybe sex isn't that important to him? It sounds like you like him and care for him. He probably has other aspects of his personality that are great and fun and interesting. How much work do you want to put into a relationship? How do you want to be treated? Those kinds of questions might help you decide whether you want to stay with this guy or not.
Author Love Jones Posted November 6, 2007 Author Posted November 6, 2007 Sounds like a great catch, doesn't he? Not!
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