There's another girl

[lovesick1]

Hey everyone.

 

First I want to thank everyone for putting up with and responding to my questions I posted here a couple times over the past few months, sadly I have another, well, it's more a story I guess.

 

I have a girlfriend who I've been dating for coming up on a year. I love her and all, but I'm really ready to move on. She's not and has no idea I feel this way. I can't bring myself to tell her though becasue I can't stand the thought of breaking her heart but I think I am going to because I am head over heels for another girl..

 

So this past week I heard from a friend that this other girl was talking about me and thinks I'm "really hot," according to him. This girl I have always thought to be incredibally attractive, she's nice, funny, and VERY smart, and I feel she really likes me. Last night at some party she gave me a huge hug that felt, honestly, absolutely amazing. It was like the way my girlfriend hugs me when we're in those incredibally sappy moods and can't quit saying, "I love you." It was one of those really tight 3-5 second hugs that seem to really mean something. I felt compelled to pick her up and spin her around and gave her a peck on the cheek but this probably wouldn't have been appropriate because I was not completly sober and she was.

 

And she has been sending me all the signals since last week. I catch her staring at me then looking away when I look back, she preens when I'm around her, and that hug she gave me... Although onetime I looked over at her and she happened to be looking at me and we just stared at each other and smiled, big time chemisty there. Like I said, I'm absolutly head over heels for her:love: and have always thought her attractive and now that I know she feels the same, I don't want to lose this opportunity to make something out of this because I feel my relationship with my current girlfriend is over. The problem with my girlfriend is she's constantly giving me crap and problems of hers I have to put up with and the second I have one problem she has no time to listen to me or says how dissappointed she is in me for me having that problem, and her parents are just plain PSYCHO. The dad's a drunk and the mom grounded her thru our anniversary for being 20 minutes late. Also, shes a lot less attractive than this other girl.

 

So, do you guys think I should break it off with my girlfriend and if so, how should I go about doing it? I don't know how to let her down easy on this one.

[LoisLane]

So you're going thru the pasture is greener on the other side. Sure.... break it off with your girlfriend then hook up with the other girl. Then trust me, you'll realize that your ex is the one that understands you better and can get along with you more than anyone could. Not only that, the other girl will also dump you because who leaves his girlfriend for another girl so easily??

 

Your girlfriend is going thru a hard time and you want to go after another girl? Says alot about you.

[lovesick1]

The only hard time we are both going through is college. It is seriously putting stress on every issue and I want to see other people so I don't have to plan my relationship around college which shouldn't be done anyway

[whichwayisup]

So just be honest with her and tell you want out. DO NOT TELL HER the negative stuff, she has enough bad stuff going on in her life right now, and don't tell her that you want another girl.

[bigheartkindsoul]

So you're going thru the pasture is greener on the other side. Sure.... break it off with your girlfriend then hook up with the other girl. Then trust me, you'll realize that your ex is the one that understands you better and can get along with you more than anyone could. Not only that, the other girl will also dump you because who leaves his girlfriend for another girl so easily??

 

Your girlfriend is going thru a hard time and you want to go after another girl? Says alot about you.

 

 

I agree with you LL. Sorry but you love her but are ready to move on -surely these two statements do not go together.

 

You do not dumped your current just because a new and better model is now on the market and showing you interest, you either love your g/f or you don't. Plus her parents should not really have any baring on how you feel about your girlfriend.

 

If she wasn't as attractive as other girls why did you get with her and spend a year with this person, I think actually you might have some hidden problems you might need to look into.

 

I hope you do leave your g/f cause sounds like she deserves more than someone who is willing to leave just because he wants an upgrade.

 

I know that might not be what you wanted to hear so sorry but just my take on it.

[Kamille]

The problem with my girlfriend is she's constantly giving me crap and problems of hers I have to put up with and the second I have one problem she has no time to listen to me or says how dissappointed she is in me for me having that problem, and her parents are just plain PSYCHO. The dad's a drunk and the mom grounded her thru our anniversary for being 20 minutes late. Also, shes a lot less attractive than this other girl.

 

 

Lovesick, I do think you should move on. I mean, if I were your girlfriend I would be horrified that you speak of me in these terms.

 

I wonder though if perhaps your girlfriend giving you crap is not linked to the fact that you offer her very little support? Did you two build something together or were you just there to have fun?

 

See, it just doesn't sound like you laid any groundwork with your current gf. I think it is quite typical for relationships in your late teens to early twentys. I know my first serious relationship was like that. My ex-boyfriend seemed more preoccupied about what I could do for him, and about his own self-image, then about actually building something together.

 

I guess all it means is that you are likely not ready for a more serious kind of relationship. It'll happen.

[Lauriebell82]

So you think that this new girl that you are dumping your gf for is perfect. Yeah, I highly doubt it. She may have parents with issues, and some issues and problems of her own. But you are ready to dump your gf of a year for some newer model. I agree that you should dump your gf though, because honestly I wouldn't want to have a bf who is just staying with me because he's scared to break up with me and is in love with someone else. Your gf deserves better than that, IMO.

 

Oh and I agree that you don't love your gf, because if you did you wouldnt be chasing after another girl. Sorry, but love just doesn't work that way. I don't even think getting into a relationship with this other girl would be a good idea. You have the college guy mentality that you should be dating a lot of different girls (which is totally fine) but don't try to get in a relationship with some other girl because your tired of your current gf. The same thing is going to likely happen with this new gf you are infatuated with. It's fine to play the field, but you can't do that and be in a relationship at the same time. It's not fair to play with girl's minds like that, and everyone is just going to end up miserable.