vecchio Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 This past week, my wife of five years informed me that she wants out 'so she can have a life, stop doing all the ****ing work around here, be appreciated, get her life back", etc. Since last December, I have been recuperating from complications of a motorcycle wreck, and she's taken excellent care of me, but I am far from unappreciative - I thank her multiple times daily, try to do considerate things for he as I'm able, as I get better (I had bone infections and still have unhealed fractures nearly eleven months later - my intense pain and limited endurance makes most normal life activities difficult, painful, or simply impossible. Anyway, I figured she was just having a bad week, and waited a day, then tonight tried to brooch the subject, ascribing her statement to angry words. Come to find out that, nope, it wasn't angry words - she wants out because I've changed since my accident and she thinks I'm now a miserable person. And the funny thing is that I"m really NOT! I've always had a sardonic, wry wit, and based on what I've been through, I don't think it's that abnormal to focus on the negatives a bit - it's a long road back to feeling normal. To my credit, despite serious anemia, osteomyelitis, and unhealed fractures in my necy, ribs and knee, I STILL only took off 8 weeks disability, and went back to work full-time WAY sooner than I should have - to make things better financially for her and my son (He's 5 on New Years Eve). Clearly I'm not THAT much of a son of a bitch - I work 40-50 hours a week, bring home a good paycheck, don't drink, gamble or smoke weed or crack, I have never raised so much as a finger to either her or our son. I think she's really just bored/tired/angry at me over it all, and looking for an out, and it's easier to try to pin it on me morphing into an incorrigible son of a bitch than for her to woman up and just say, Listen, I didn't sign up for a crippled guy - you're on your own pal - oh yeah - except for the $1500 a month I'll want you to hand my ass in separate maintenance and child support. It's really like SHE'S a different person - and all of this came to a head after she spent a week in the office (usually she works from home) and spent every evening that week going on and on about a nice male coworker from out of town. I wasn't born yesterday, and when two thing happen closely together that look like they might be connected, odds are good there's a corrolation and probably a causality. What do y'all think is really going on here? We decided to head for counseling since she doesn't fight fair at all, and when I go there in retaliation, well of course I'm the worst son of a bitch who ever drew breath. Anyway, we'll find a marriage shrink and go try to fight nice, but I think she's gonna turn real ugly if forced to confront any truths about herself and her boiliing angry temper. I'm trying to go into it with an open mind, but I think I already know how it'll go down. The shrink is gonna (mostly) side with me and then my wife will pull out and claim that she was right about us needing to split up since she's "obviously such a terrible bitch"! Why do women do this ****? Why not just calmly ask for what it is you need? Why all the drama and emotional manipulation? Would appreciate your feedback. Be honest, but a little gentle - it's clearly been a rough week around here. Rough Road in Denver
whichwayisup Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 Wow, I'm stunned here. I can understand her being frustrated, fed up, but she has to know that you're on the road to recovery, but to quickly turn around and do this to you (sorry) can only mean one thing. The male co-worker. He has her attention. Do some research here, find out more before you confront her about him. Whatever it is that is going on between them IS messing with her head. He more than likely is feeding her ego, making her feel desired. Fact too, that she has done a 180 so fast means she is NOT thinking clearly at all, she's thinking with her emotions. I mean, what sane thinking person does what she is doing and decides to throw in the towel without giving you an opportunity to seek some counselling, to make things better. I mean, it is possible that you're depressed, rightfully so seeing as you had this accident, but for her to go do this is just wrong. Ask a trusted friend to help you out with finding more info on her and this co-worker. Sorry that you're having to go through this.
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