vg6 Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 I've only ever had relationships with guys until recently. Last month, this girl I've been friends with for almost 3 years and I started seeing each other as more than friends. We've both been straight, but one night, we were talking about how guys can be such *******s (no offense to guys, we're just bitter), and we kissed. It wasn't like we just kissed, but we did eventually -- over wine and jello vodka. She slept over, but we didn't do anything more than just kiss and hold each other. We both have struggled through a long distance relationship for a while. Her's lasted for 3 years, mine for a year and a half. It ended at almost the same time, earlier this year. We always talked about our girl crushes and how we think we may be bisexual, but we never really EVER talked about getting together or liking each other. It seemed a bit awkward to. So.. this thing just happened, and that's the background. ANYWAY.. I'm starting to get really into her. Really. None of our friends know. They probably don't even suspect. We're just a little bit closer, we lock arms, lean on each other, but I guess people assume we're just really good friends. It's not like we're trying to hide it, but we don't know how to break the ice to the world. Well, I have this problem. I don't know why but I get so insecure when guys hit on her. When guys hit on me, she just giggles it off. I thought maybe she's not really into me, but she's been calling me more, she's really affectionate and she says that she loves me. So, she's not insecure? I don't want to be such an emotional bag. I'm scared that this relationship is just gonna screw us up. I wish it would last, but if not, I don't think we could be friends. I really don't know what to do. Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Should I be more chill?
whichwayisup Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 If you really like her and want her, go for it. Tell her exactly how you feel and where you want it to go, hopefully she's on the same page as you and that will put your mind at ease, be able to trust her and not ever worry she will go off with a guy. As for coming out, just do it when the timing feels right and you two feel secure enough to handle it together. Don't be ashamed and if you have friends who react in a negative way, they aren't your true friends. Let me know how this goes, I'm rooting for you!!
Author vg6 Posted November 4, 2007 Author Posted November 4, 2007 Thanks. I guess I'm just scared that I'm getting too into it and maybe this is just a phase for her. I think about how she was with her ex, who I'm friends with, and she was really in love with him. I've been freaking out when I see him online. I'm chicken sh*t. A part of me is really REALLY afraid to confront her. I know no one will judge us in a bad way. It's not that at all. We're completely open to homosexuality and so are most of our friends. I think it's just harder than it is to all of a sudden tell everyone we're seeing each other. My stomach feels so uneasy.
Author vg6 Posted November 4, 2007 Author Posted November 4, 2007 Oh my gosh, she just called me!! I'm so happy!! And anxious at the same time.
whichwayisup Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 Shelf that conversation until you two can talk face to face. Good that she called you..
Author vg6 Posted November 4, 2007 Author Posted November 4, 2007 She came by today we were both talking in bed when all of a sudden our friends came over. She said that she forgot to tell me that she told everyone she would be here, so they all thought it was a party. They brought booze and cards. They just left. It's 1:30am. I got pissed off when she left 2 hours before everyone else. I got drunk and was just CRAZY. She didn't even really have an excuse to go. She just wanted to. I feel like I'm being unreasonably upset right now. What the hell is going on? My head is spinning.
compassion42 Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 Maybe you should try to slow things down a bit. Feel out the waters and see where it takes you. This is all so new to the both of you and you may not be on the same page as far as what it all means. Relax a bit and try to talk with her about it all when the time is right.
whichwayisup Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 Until you two talk and find out what you both are feeling, what you two want to do about it, let something happen, have a relationship, or just be close friends try not to be too upset. I know, easier said than done, but keep in mind that her frame of mind may not have been where yours was. The party, people around, maybe she just wasn't aware of your feelings, or didn't know she should have stayed longer, or to sleep over.
shadowplay Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 Have you guys had sex yet? How old are you? And is this the first time either of you has done anything physical with another girl?
Author vg6 Posted November 5, 2007 Author Posted November 5, 2007 I'm 20, she's 21. We've been physically intimate with each other in bed, but not the type of sex that's just full blown. I don't know how I would describe it. We both agreed that we love it like this though, at least for now. She's the only girl I have ever really been with, and same goes for her. I haven't talked to her today. Just chatted online. Set a date for tomorrow. She's picking me up after class to have some ice cream
Author vg6 Posted November 5, 2007 Author Posted November 5, 2007 I never thought I could feel this way about a girl. I wasn't even attracted to her initially. I have always had female crushes even before I met her. Now, it's like she's the most amazing girl ever. She has the best laugh! I love the way her eyes laugh and the way she hides her face when she does. I never realized how mature she is and how well she carries herself. I think about what I'm doing now, posting things online to help me think things through and cope with the situation. I wonder what she's doing or if she's talking about it with anyone. Usually we would talk to each other about our boys. I hope she doesn't go on here, but she probably wont even come across or even think of it. I am such a geek.
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