Should I dump his ASS?

[Sadie79]

I have been experiencing relationship problems with my boyfriend of a little over a year. When we started dating, everything seemed great at first. He spent a lot of time with me, listened to me, brought me little gifts now and then, took me out, etc. He seemed so laid back, affectionate, and kind. My boyfriend was great about everything, talking about having a future with me, always payed attention to me. He warned me early on that he has his own seasonal (summer) business and often times he will not have time to spend with me in the spring and summer, this I accepted.

 

As time went on, we were dating about 3 months, I decided to move out of my parents house to live closer to my boyfriend and my job so we no longer had a LDR (he lived 45 miles away from me, and my job was 10 miles away from his house). Besides I was getting older and couldn't tolerate living with my parents anymore. I ended up getting an apartment only 7 blocks away from him.

 

It seems that since I moved out on my own, things have gotten worse between my boyfriend and myself. First off, when I was moving he wouldn't help one drop, actually avoided me and said "i'm too busy with work". I asked him to do one thing, help me put an air conditioner in the window, and he wouldn't do it. Other things he started doing seemed odd to me. He started having less sex with me around this time, and started smoking again (cigarettes) around this time. When I had any issues or problems in my life, instead of talking to me about them, he would have a "sucks to be you" attitude toward me.

 

I work nights, and have off about 2 nights a week, on 1-2 out of those nights he would come spend time with me (sometimes I hung out with friends and ended up not seeing him). Instead of taking me out, he started comiing over my house and the first thing he would do is flip on the TV and just veg. out. He'd tell me he was coming over at 8:00pm when he got done with work, and sometimes wouldn't show up till around 10pm. We started going out less, cause he said the food I cooked was"cheaper" and "better for you" - mind you he wasn't paying a dime for the food I put in the apartment, only for the beer (which I never drink, I hate beer). Not only that, he made a comment or two lately that we spend too much time together, is two nights a week too much all of the sudden? Never was with any of the other guys I dated before.

 

When it actually came time for fun stuff that we talked about or planned in advance, he would ask me to go somewhere, I would say yes and be all excited and look forward to it since it happened so rarely. When the day came, he would insist that he bring his brother and sister along. Not that I didn't get along with them, they just kinda make me feel left out, the whole family is the type that kinda does whatever they want all together, but does not ask what you want to do. Also, it seemed far and few between when we actually went somewhere, that we would actually go alone.

 

Speaking of family, when I moved he talking about moving in with me. Now, all he does is brag about how great he has it living at home with his parents, how he never has to do anything, how everything is done for him, how it helps him save money and it is so cheap. He's a very cheap guy with me...but it was ok for him to buy a quad few months ago (used one that he said was a deal of a lifetime). He never buys me any little things to show he cares, won't even buy as much as a candy bar. It seems like he just forgets about me when I am not around. He never calls me, I call him. He never says romantic things anymore, says he hates talking about feelings and stuff. He'll brag about how much money he makes at his business, like close to 5 digits a month, then he won't even take me out to eat cause he says it costs too much.

 

I am not trying to be materialistc here, just think that he should do something to show he cares. I call him up sometimes from work while I am on lunch at night,and he'll ignore me and be watching TV while he is on the phone with me. He used to tell me how beautiful I was, now he's starting to say stuff like "if you ever get fat, I'd dump ya". Worse yet, I asked him after a year into the relationship what he would want me to do if I ever got pregnant, he said "I'm not ready to be a father, I'm still trying to establish my business and my life, I'd want you to get an abortion."

 

My Bf is turning into a monster! He used to be a big party animal, fraternity boy in college...can he be resorting back to that attitude (he graduated two years ago)? He has also been drinking more lately, when he is over 1-2 six packs he will down like water. What do you guys think? Should I make a break with him, I really love him a lot, but he is not showing any signs of improvment, and will literally ignore me when I talk to him about this stuff??? He used to be so great in the beginning, and I really don't want to lose a good thing. I am testing him by not calling him, and now it has been over 5 days without him getting in contact with me. Is he just going through a phase maybe, HELP!

[Amazon22]

GET OUT AS FAST AS YOU CAN!

 

This guy is doing you more harm than good! You have your own life to be worrying about, not some drunken cheap-ass loser! Many relationships are great for the first few months and then after that if it is not meant to be then it will most likely turn into shiznit! Just explain to him that you have better things to do with your time and then maybe after he realizes that you are not going to just sit back and take his sh*t he might come around, but I doubt it. Maybe you are just in love with the idea of being in love...everybody is at some point in their life!

 

Good luck, be strong, and most importantly...STAND YOUR GROUND!

 

-Haley

[Tony T]

This guys a complete bum. Dump him at your earliest opportunity and move as far away from him as possible. How he didn't show you any signs whatsoever that he was a worthless piece of human trash before you moved close to him is a real puzzle to me.

 

Hell, I'd buy you a candy bar and I don't even know you. What a jerk!

[EnigmaXOXO]

I agree with the others Sadie. You can do much better. You DESERVE much better.

 

You can't change people, so please don't waste any more of your valuable time hoping and trying.

 

What you see is what you'll get!