My boyfriend of six years broke up with me but he calls me all the time!

[Jasmine777]

My boyfriend of six years calls me all the time and wants me to hang out with him even though he says he needs his space and that we are broken up! He says he may want to get back together and that he needs his space right now. He goes from being sweet to acting cold and reserved. He acts like he loves me and he acts like I am annoying and I know that I am not acting annoying. I went to his house the other night and watched a movie with him and he left his phone in his car the whole time which I thought was strange. He claims he is not seeing anyone but how do I know that!? He also jokes a lot about seeing beautiful women and he never seems to compliment me! He is acting strange and everyone is noticing it. What is up with him!?

[Ocean-Blue]

My boyfriend of six years calls me all the time and wants me to hang out with him even though he says he needs his space and that we are broken up! He says he may want to get back together and that he needs his space right now. He goes from being sweet to acting cold and reserved. He acts like he loves me and he acts like I am annoying and I know that I am not acting annoying. I went to his house the other night and watched a movie with him and he left his phone in his car the whole time which I thought was strange. He claims he is not seeing anyone but how do I know that!? He also jokes a lot about seeing beautiful women and he never seems to compliment me! He is acting strange and everyone is noticing it. What is up with him!?

 

You need to decide if you're OK with this guy stringing you along, like you're some sad little puppy. Is that what you want for yourself? He is keeping you as his safety net. He's been with you for 6 years, so he knows you're safe...he's comfortable with you. He wants to test the waters, see what else is out there - WITH THE KNOWLEDGE that he can come back to you whenever he pleases.

 

Is this what you want?

[Float]

I am sad to say that I've been in your boyfriend's shoes, and unfortunately, if I can say one thing, it's not to bother. It won't end up good.

[Amy22]

I agree with the other posters. He is stringing you along. It isn't fair to you what he is doing.

[oppath]

In defense of her ex boyfriend, however, he does not realize what the is doing. He no doubt genuinely cares for her and is struggling with his decision. I doubt it is even crossing his mind, even if he is actively flirting with other women, that he is keeping her on a string. Until you have been treated that way yourself, you never learn.

 

So Jasminne, what I would suggest is remain calm and polite but tell him "you ended this relationship. It is not fair for you to keep one foot in the door. I need to heal and being your friend right now is preventing that. I NEED s-p-a-c-e more than you." Assert a boundary to him.

 

Then, having done that, ignore him. Read his emails, listen to his voicemails, but don't respond unless he is manning up to you. Don't fall for "I miss you and want to talk to you." You don't have to be cold to him, but he needs to make the effort towards you, and a big one, too.

[Krying]

Jas, I have to say I'm jealous of your situation. Even if I was being strung along, I'd still jump at the chance to have some contact with my ex. At least that way, some closure or even being able to work things out would be possible. Nothing hurts more than someone leaving you, not saying why, and never looking back.

[Jasmine777]

Yeah this situation is very odd, he is texting me on skype right now! I took advice from the postings and I told him to leave me alone if he wants space and to break-up. He was like oh you just need a hug! Why would he keep calling and texting when he wants the space! It is very strange.