doughnut Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 Hi all i am in need of advice. i have lost my wife of 4 years and lover of 10 years.... My wife is my whole life, my everything, my heart. I have 2 boys 6 and 4 years old. Mortgage and i have moved out... August this year 3 weeks in i decided that i hd to move out as our relationship was cold and dead... We had just been on holiday and had seperate beds... I am living in rented accomodation at present and paying most bills to keep my children and wife afloat but i just want them back as it is killing me. We needed to sort things out for the past year but i missed all the signs i was given and just blindly accepted everything was going to be ok. We have gone through a patch of me just coming home and not helping in the house and not communicating with any issues. drinking also but not getting smashed just a few beers. my mother in law (moved in4 doors away) a few years back split up with her husand and was coming over for mmonths falling asleep on our sofa drunk and feeling sorry for herself all the time... calling my wife in early hours and threatenng to do nasty things to herself i watched my wife physically drained through this and mentally scarred. This upset me and put an enormous strain on our already tarnished relationship..... I have recently come home to find a male in my house on the sofa chatting with my wife and it took me over the edge... My wife swears she is not with him and i believe her as most of her friends in her life have been male but it is cutting me up inside..... I work shifts 6am -4pm and 3pm till 1am alternate weeks. i see my boys after work at home with my wife when i am on the 6 - 4 shift and i stay till about 7pm then go home and wash and sleep. She makes me dinner and we get on fine. On the 3 till 1 shift i phone my boys at 6pm for about 10 min and i also see them from 9am all the way till 10pm every weekend as my wife works 9 till 10am 2pm till 4m and 9pm till 10pm sat and sunday ... I babysit as she goes out saturdays so i sleep in the house and she comes home in morning and then goes to work. She stays at a friends (female) we have talked and she has said today that she will give me a chance i suggested till the end of january... The chance is i still live away and we are like friends and act like friends and nothing else. she also stated she is not guarenteeing she will have me back as she doesnt know if she can..... please help... I love my ex sooo much and my children that i will do anything there is to get her back............... i miss being together so much the pain is unbearable......
sam840 Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 my wife left last week, almost to the day of our 10th wedding anniversary. just want you to know that i am feeling that pain. we have 2 wonderful girls, and she has removed them from school, and i have no idea where they are. it is killing me inside. the pain is near unbearable. my family is my life. it's so hard to find a reason to go on. i just registered, so i will go start a new thread now. your post just caught my eye, and i will check back SAM
Author doughnut Posted November 3, 2007 Author Posted November 3, 2007 my wife left last week, almost to the day of our 10th wedding anniversary. just want you to know that i am feeling that pain. we have 2 wonderful girls, and she has removed them from school, and i have no idea where they are. it is killing me inside. the pain is near unbearable. my family is my life. it's so hard to find a reason to go on. i just registered, so i will go start a new thread now. your post just caught my eye, and i will check back SAM Sorry to hear that bud keep me informed mate... I dont know wat is easier knowing where they are or not
Author doughnut Posted November 3, 2007 Author Posted November 3, 2007 Missed a few points... My wife used to lay next to me in bed and cuddle me and say "promise you will never leave me" i would say "you will leave me first" i was right........... I am a bloke but have no problem admitting i have wrecked my one good thing in my life........ Cant sleep ---- cant get my head straight ----- Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come. Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Scribbling on the sky the message the love is Dead. Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves, Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves. She was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong. The stars are not wanted now; put out every one, Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun, Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods; For nothing now can ever come to any good. --
Author doughnut Posted November 4, 2007 Author Posted November 4, 2007 Any advice would be nice please. I am unable to not see my wife or children otherwise i leave my wife (ex) unable to work.... How do i deal with not being able to get away to cope... My head is all over the place.... any advice please.....
Amy22 Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 I have never been in your situation so it is hard for me to give advice. If I am understanding correctly the break is because the relationship was cold and dead? Well then I say during this friendship time that you agreed to you have to show her that you are making changes. Make her fall in love with you again. Listen to her about what went wrong and what you can do to make it better. She was upset that you didn't help around the house? Well then when you are watching the kids do some things around the house. Make dinner or do laundry. Show her you are trying to change. If you can provide more details about why you split I will try to help more. To help you cope focus on making yourself better. Focus on your kids when you are with them. Spend time with family and friends. Nothing will ever take the pain away completely and that sucks. Good luck and keep us up to date.
Recommended Posts