underwater2010 Posted February 11, 2014 Posted February 11, 2014 From digging and joining multiple website based on infidelity I have reached a few answers. 1. They are very selfish people....in life and in general. 2. They look for happiness elsewhere. They cannot/do not realize that it is found within one's self. 3. They want pleasure and do not care who they hurt to get it. 4. They are jaded against life and people. 5. The biggest of all LOW self-esteem...most of the time resulting in an over inflation of the worth/ego.
rumbleseat Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Just my opinion, but it would seem that most cheat because they have low sense of self worth, poor communication skills, poor boundaries, addiction problems, poor problem solving skills ( passive aggressive ? ) or they are just very unhappy within themselves are trying to make themselves happy. Lots of people become unhappy in their relationship ships, but many of them choose to walk away before they get involved with someone else. 1
whichwayisup Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 I mean besides the obvious,why i ask is because i would never in a million yrs cheat on my partner no matter how unhappy i was.What i would do b4 i ever consider cheating is bow out of the relationship well b4 i would **** someone over like that. What goes through theire heads? Do they not feel guilty? I mean how the hell can you come home to your partner,right after you have been with someone else and feel good about it? What kinda mentality is that? Just could never figure that one out. Some people are selfish, some feel entitled to do as they please, some are broken and unhappy so they think turning to someone else will fulfill a need to make them happier. Some are able to lie and deceive well, skilled liars and are able to push guilt away (if any is felt) and justify it to themselves like they've done nothing wrong. Some fall in love but are too scared to do anything about it and are scared of starting over so they get used to having two people meet their needs. Some are happy and just enjoy someone on the side for selfish reasons and really it's just a meaningless affair. Though, after a D-Day it's usually (9/10) the WS's begging to be taken back, throwing their AP under the bus and only then when they feel and suffer consequences, see what they are gonna lose, they wake up and see how wrong it all was, cheating etc..
Woggle Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 I don't know because I can never imagine doing it myself. I don't see how a cheater can love their partner because the thought of betraying my wife would make me sick to my stomach.
Eggplant Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 They don't care about other people enough to forgo their own gratification.
cocorico Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Many people cheat because they feel trapped in a desperately unhappy situation that they feel (however rightly or wrongly) they can't leave without badly hurting those they care about (usually kids, sometimes having seen firsthand how traumatised those kids get during a separation)... But the situation itself is so bad they cannot survive without some love, caring or support themselves to help them through. It's meant as a short-term survival mechanism though sometimes it provides them with a more permanent escape route.
i am gutted Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 i dont think it was over the top at all,from my experience women always seem to think they r dadies little girl,when the hell do they get over this?Im this, im that,get over it! The ugliest women think they dont have to try for anything just cause they r female, its pathetic! I dont think its over the top at all,its a hell of a lot easier for a women to get what she wants,she culd b the ugliest piece of turd in the placeand low and behold BOOM! u will have some loser buying her a drink,try doing that as a dude,aint gonna happen,thats what makes women secure not all women are the same......no its not always easier for a woman to get what she wants..........yes there are a lot of "high maintenance " women out there. I definitely am not one of them. I have always been a giver and and have given my all .......... sorry but I did not deserve what I got in return. So please just remember that there are some of us nice normal ones around .
i am gutted Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 its not a gender bash issue,of course as a female u wuld say that,its fact,and dont try and say it isnt so,u r only defending urself,gimme a break. if a female came up to a guy and said " hey u wanna **** me?" what wuld he say? sure no problem. depending on the idiot,but if a dude said the same thing he wuld get a slap in the face. My point is,its a hell oif alot easier for a female to get what she wants then a male,a women can b ugly as all hell,but if a dude is drunk enuff he will sucumb.That in itself doesnt make it right,cause it just makes guys look like desperate losers,but u have to admit it is easier for women,if u cant admit that u havnt been out much yea I can sort of see what you are saying in that respect but most women who do that would be classed as sluts and "easy" and yes unfortunately, guys seem to be quite happy to oblige lololol.
rumbleseat Posted February 12, 2014 Posted February 12, 2014 Many people cheat because they feel trapped in a desperately unhappy situation that they feel (however rightly or wrongly) they can't leave without badly hurting those they care about (usually kids, sometimes having seen firsthand how traumatised those kids get during a separation)... But the situation itself is so bad they cannot survive without some love, caring or support themselves to help them through. It's meant as a short-term survival mechanism though sometimes it provides them with a more permanent escape route. Let me get this straight. Their marriage is terrible, they are miserable, so they separate, but that is so awful for their kids that they come back and continue on in their marriage because ending it would be horrendous for the kids. They choose stay married and keep the kids in an extremely unhappy environment for years because they are too much of a coward to leave. Then they have an A, even though they know it is the one thing that could make the whole situation blow up and make things 100% worse for the kids? They can't end their marriage because it would hurt the kids, so they handle hat by going and doing the one thing that will end their marriage. Yea, right. Makes perfect sense to me:rolleyes: Sounds like that person would be much better served by spending some time with a psychiatrist instead of an OW/OM.
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