dhfpf22 Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 hi, i am 20 years old and really need some advice with whats been going on with me lately. i had just moved into my apartment with my best friend and everything had been going decent. my friend meets this one girl, and they start hanging out and then date for about a week. Throughout that whole week, every time she would come over to hang out with him, he would dissapper, so me and her were always there by ourselves. we eventually got to talking a lot, and one night both told each other we had feelings for each other. i immediately told my friend the next day how i felt and that i would never do anything unless he was completely fine with it. he said he was and then i really started to hang out with her. every day for basically two months. we never technically considered us as dating or anything, just because we were taking things slow as the reason we met was weird, but basically we were. So were together for a little more than two months, and i start to fall for her. she is unlike anyone i have ever met in my life. my friend and his friend (who introduced me and my roommate to her) start talking crap about me and her to both of us. this has been going on towards me for a little now, but just starting for her. this goes on for 2 days and gets so bad she tells me she doesn't like me anymore. we stay friends, and still hung out, but it was always so weird for me. after two weeks of this, i realize i love her and really want to be with her. i tell her this and she tells me she is not over me, still has feelings for me, and if something happens in the future it does. but she is not looking for anything, and then tells me she has a problem with getting into serious relationships, something it would be with me. i don't know if this is because she has some things going on bothering her like she never has met her birth parents.. or her past relationships (long term). i still talk to her every day, and am always thinking about her. i just can't get over her knowing that we both have told each other we have such strong feelings. i don't know if i need to wait, or what to talk to her about. it just has been driving me crazy. thanks for your help.
Spinderella Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 we stay friends, and still hung out, but it was always so weird for me. after two weeks of this, i realize i love her and really want to be with her. i tell her this and she tells me she is not over me, still has feelings for me, and if something happens in the future it does. but she is not looking for anything, and then tells me she has a problem with getting into serious relationships, something it would be with me. i don't know if this is because she has some things going on bothering her like she never has met her birth parents.. or her past relationships (long term). The reasons dont matter, because unless she decides that she is not happy with being unable to have a serious relationship, then she probably wont be interested in why. Its up to her. i still talk to her every day, and am always thinking about her. i just can't get over her knowing that we both have told each other we have such strong feelings. i don't know if i need to wait, or what to talk to her about. it just has been driving me crazy. thanks for your help. If you still give her everythiing she needed from the relationship, then she is never going to decide that she loves what she gets from you enough to make the commitment to you that you want from her.
Author dhfpf22 Posted November 3, 2007 Author Posted November 3, 2007 The reasons dont matter, because unless she decides that she is not happy with being unable to have a serious relationship, then she probably wont be interested in why. Its up to her. If you still give her everythiing she needed from the relationship, then she is never going to decide that she loves what she gets from you enough to make the commitment to you that you want from her. When we were together it was always a little different, just because of the way we met and how our friends looked at us. We both said we would have been together much sooner if we never met the way we did. I don't know, she says she will want something relationship wise, but not any time soon, and I think this is because she said she is scared to get into something serious, and is just not ready. But I can't figure that out because she says she has such strong feelings for me. I am so in love with her, its just been driving me crazy. I don't know if I should wait untill she is ready, forget about her (which I have tired, and yeah so hard), or try to talk to her more(which I have done a lot) about this. I just don't know what else I can say to her.
Spinderella Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 You cant talk her into it. Are you still acting as a couple but without the status?
Author dhfpf22 Posted November 3, 2007 Author Posted November 3, 2007 You cant talk her into it. Are you still acting as a couple but without the status? No, we still do hang out, it was always hard for me to hang out with her, and I ended up just leaving out of no where twice in a row because I couldn't take it. But recently when we hang out, after I found out she still had feelings for me, things are better and we have fun, but don't act like a couple anymore. I don't know if she just wants to become good friends first again.
Spinderella Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 You can only take the situation as you have it. Either be happy with it, or if you want more only, then dont be friends.
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