spookie Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 Yesterday, for the first time, I realized I may actually be developing a drinking problem. Since we didn't have work or school, my friend and I started drinking at around 11 yesterday. Slowly at first - a couple of beers with lunch - but then we went on a walk with huge spiked slurpies and I was wasted by 4. Then my most recent ex called wanting to meet up, and I suggested our fav. bar. I don't know why, but being aroudn him put me on the defensive about everything and to appease my anxiety I had three long island iced teas. We must have left the bar at around 6 and my memory of what happened afterward is very hazy. I know I picked up when they guy I'm dating now called. I don't know what was said. I'm afraid we made plans for today that I can't remember. How do I figure it out without coming across as a total drunk?
compassion42 Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 It sounds like it must have been pretty obvious that you had been drinking. Just call the boyfriend and ask. Just be joking and non-intense about it and refer to the fact that you had a little too much to drink yesterday and just wanted to confirm the plans. You know, that does sound like a lot of drinking-please be careful with that!
The Joker Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 Then my most recent ex called wanting to meet up, and I suggested our fav. bar. I don't know why, but being aroudn him put me on the defensive about everything and to appease my anxiety I had three long island iced teas. We must have left the bar at around 6 and my memory of what happened afterward is very hazy. Seriously my best advice to you is go to your doctor and lay it all out on the table, and get into some serious therapy and any sort of drug/detox if you need that. You walk a dangerous path, i don't think LS should be your source for advice on such matters as clearly you are ruining your own future. Also when you mention your most recent ex, do you speak of that dude whom degraded you on the grounds of forced rape and went out of his way to put his butt in your face and fart? If so does that not show you are seeking public attention on such matters but in the end you just turn your head to the advice given by both men and women on how to better yourself? In the end it is your life and you ultimately make the choices for you, so if you wish to end up in the gutter it is no fault of anyone but you. Get yourself some professional help, don't become yet another waste case.
Author spookie Posted November 3, 2007 Author Posted November 3, 2007 Seriously my best advice to you is go to your doctor and lay it all out on the table, and get into some serious therapy and any sort of drug/detox if you need that. You walk a dangerous path, i don't think LS should be your source for advice on such matters as clearly you are ruining your own future. Also when you mention your most recent ex, do you speak of that dude whom degraded you on the grounds of forced rape and went out of his way to put his butt in your face and fart? If so does that not show you are seeking public attention on such matters but in the end you just turn your head to the advice given by both men and women on how to better yourself? In the end it is your life and you ultimately make the choices for you, so if you wish to end up in the gutter it is no fault of anyone but you. Get yourself some professional help, don't become yet another waste case. I did take people's advice regarding that guy. I ended it with him and have not looked back. About a week later, he apologized to me and said he wanted to be friends. I can handle that. I have no feelings for him at this point and I am not going to put up with any kind of crap but he is entertaining. I think a twice-a-month kind of friendship is going to work. Regarding getting help, I walked in to my university's counseling office on Wednesday because to be honest for the past year I have entirely stopped CARING about the outcome of anything and I know this road I'm on can only end in disaster. It's like, most days, life seems like a huge pain the a$$ to me, and all I can feel and care about is my own pain and grief. The therapist I saw spent 1.5 hours talking to me and recommended that I withdraw from the university and go home to "heal". I dunno about that but I am going to continue getting help. But this is all off-topic.
Phateless Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 Honestly, that sounds like a fun-ass day to me. I would have wanted to join you. I can actually relate to where you're coming from except it's not quite as bad for me. I am able to restrain myself from drinking during the week, and I never drink by myself, but once I start drinking on the weekend, I end up staying sloshed for most of it. I often find myself saying things on the phone I don't want to, and waking up and having to check my call and text-log thinking, "ahhh ****..." I just make a joke out of it usually. I say "hey, did we talk yesterday? I was pretty distracted and couldn't remember if we made plans or not. Just didn't wanna flake on you." Easy... For the drinking, I just drew a few limits that make me functional. -NO drinking by myself, EVER, no matter what -NO using it as a crutch/coping -try not to drink more than 3 times a week -maintain a healthy routine (exercise, work, school, etc) so far, it's been fine. i love to drink and i drink too much when I do, but I am not dependent on it. Let us know how the plans worked out.
The Joker Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 I did take people's advice regarding that guy. I ended it with him and have not looked back. About a week later, he apologized to me and said he wanted to be friends. I can handle that. I have no feelings for him at this point and I am not going to put up with any kind of crap but he is entertaining. I think a twice-a-month kind of friendship is going to work. Regarding getting help, I walked in to my university's counseling office on Wednesday because to be honest for the past year I have entirely stopped CARING about the outcome of anything and I know this road I'm on can only end in disaster. It's like, most days, life seems like a huge pain the a$$ to me, and all I can feel and care about is my own pain and grief. The therapist I saw spent 1.5 hours talking to me and recommended that I withdraw from the university and go home to "heal". I dunno about that but I am going to continue getting help. But this is all off-topic. Regarding that guy, i think most people were looking out for you in the sense of saying leave him in the dust. You just don't have the will power to tell the dude to go to hell and stay there. That kind of person is not someone whom will better your life, not one bit. The dude is pure garbage. The way he treated you as a love interest, Do you think he'd reform that for a friendship!? I could actually see him taking advantage when you are drunk. Because he knows your ways and limits. Regarding the help, seriously. LS is good for typical relationship matters but your self destructiveness is well beyond what anyone can help with here. It's not hard to see you're a sociopath from the lack of care not only for yourself but others in your writing. That kind of apathy does not get better, do you wish to reach to the point of not giving a crap about anything or anyone? Like i said you are on a downward spiral right to the gutter. Now you of course can turn this around if you want it badly enough, take the advice given and yes take the time to heal. But beyond that of what a university can offer, go to your family doctor and get into the professional circle of medical help.
compassion42 Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 On many levels I do agree with you Joker. But labeling someone as a "sociopath" really doesn't seem appropriate here at LS. I think we should be very careful about such things.
jcster Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 Regarding the help, seriously. LS is good for typical relationship matters but your self destructiveness is well beyond what anyone can help with here. It's not hard to see you're a sociopath from the lack of care not only for yourself but others in your writing. That kind of apathy does not get better, do you wish to reach to the point of not giving a crap about anything or anyone? Like i said you are on a downward spiral right to the gutter. Now you of course can turn this around if you want it badly enough, take the advice given and yes take the time to heal. But beyond that of what a university can offer, go to your family doctor and get into the professional circle of medical help. Well - don't bother sugar coating it Joker! Geez. Spookie - you sound really depressed. Alcohol is not going to help that situation one bit. It's good that you went to the University counselor - are you sure going home for a semester isn't a good idea? A lot of people get seriously depressed in their early to mid-twenties - I think it might have something to do with brain development. I would definitley stick with counseling, and stay away from people who aren't good for you (your ex comes to mind). As for the drunk call - just tell him you were drunk and can't remember the entire conversation.
shadowplay Posted November 5, 2007 Posted November 5, 2007 Spookie, why would you want to be friends with a guy who raped you? And please don't say it wasn't rape because I read your description and it definitely was. It doesn't matter if he's entertaining, you need to have some self respect and cut him out of your life completely. If you continue to see him, it will only chip away at your self esteem because deep down you know it isn't right. I hope things getter better for you.
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