jeffro1971 Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 The situation is that my wife and I are headed to divorce ultimately and at a minimum, seperation. The problem not lies with her but with myself. She is a very caring, loving, beautful woman. I on the other hand, havea problem with lying and being deceitful. This year we celebrated our 10 year anniversary. It seems like every year, even before we got married she would catch me in lies, I of course would tell more lies to try and hide the truth. The lies are generally about our finances, me getting a credit card without her knowing. Gambling had been another issue after three years of marriage. Last week we had a phone call about being past due on an account, I lied again and said it had been taking care of, she kept on me and I finally broke down and told the truth, after a few days we were back to being jovial and in fairly good spirits. Then yesterday she surprised me at work with the kids ( I work 2nd shift) they brought me dinner and afterwards the kids wanted to see my office. Problem was I had bought a lottery ticket and was hiding it there and wife of course found out about it. She is very upset adn wants me to leave, does not want me to talk to her and basically wants me out of her life, Says that this has gone on wayyyy to long and she is tired of it, the promises I make to get better (which I seem to fail at) the sorries that I say are meaningless and not to even say it any more. I know this sounds corny, but I truly do love her and care about her, she says I have a funny way of showing it. I just want her to be happy at this point, and I feel that would be without me. That is devastating, we have two boys as well, and I think about them and what is going to happen. I want to change but it seems like when things are going good, I find a way to mess them up! My thinking right now is to find a place to stay and give her some time way from me, but at the same time, I want to be there to help. Help with the kids and whatever else she may need. I probably should not be surprised at her actions towards me because enoguh is enough. I am looking for some guidance. I am finding out more and more that money IS the root of all evil. It is destroying our marriage. Any thoughts or suggestions would be helpful. Sorry if it seems kind of vague but hopefully you can get the point.
Precious210 Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 The LOVE of money is the root of all evil. You have to stand firm and love your family more than the lies you are telling and be ready to change. You are going to have to prove to her that you mean what you say. After a person says something for so long, yet does not do it, the other person begins to not believe anything they say. Show her that you love her by maybe giving her some space so you can get your mind together. Love is what Love does. Stop jepordizing your family for the things that are small.
Author jeffro1971 Posted November 4, 2007 Author Posted November 4, 2007 Thank you for your response. She has told me she wants her space and to not bug her about the situation at this time, I am assuming she needs time to think about things as well. I tend to bug anyways, not pressuring but wanting to know, where do we stand? What is the future going to hold for us? She told me also that the one thing that is keeping her from cutting ties with me is her mother. It would just devastate her mom, her mom has helath related issues and she thinks this will be a big blow for her. I agree as well, but seeing my wife so frustrated with me, not speaking with me not even saying she loves me me anymore, I just want to get it done and over with if this is were it is headed. It sucks because of the holidays coming up as well. I hvae been sleeping on the couch the past couple of nights because when the stuff hit the fan,m she told me she did not even want me sleeping with her. In addition, she has gone out tonight for a girls night out. I think that it is good for her to do, but yet, I am scared of the fact she may be "looking" for someone to replace me. Just my insecreity at this point and feeling so guilty for the hell I have put her through. Why do I do this to someone I love so much and care about more than myself? I would do anything for her!!! I would die for her. I think at one time I told her that and she stated to me, "You would do anything for me, except what I need the most from you." Which is telling the TRUTH. I know when I do wrong, I am a grown man and know the difference, I just want her to have anything she needs, when she needs it. In addition, thank you for your comment on the LOVE of money is evil, why is it then that I am that way? I really do love my family and care about us all. I want to talk to her about things now, and come clean on everything, however, I think it may be way over due and just plain too late. What do you think? Should I just keep it inside me until I know waht our future is or should I make her listen to me and have me come clean about everything even though it may be the end? I am so confused right now, crying almost all the time, when the kids are not around. I love my kids and her soo much, I feel so stupid for the lies. Thanks for reading.
Recommended Posts