moredeborah Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 Hi, I rarely have long-standing relationships with friends ... for many reasons, but I'm starting to see a trend with the best friends that I've had for the last 4 years. BF1: Amanda and I did EVERYTHING together. Went to shows, hit on guys, shopping, eating... and then after about 2 years of this, I grew tired of her neediness to hit on guys. After awhile, I found it pathetic and her gossip about men was too much and I was done! BF2: Cheryl was such a free spirit and I was down in the dumps because I broke up with my boyfriend and most of my friends weren't speaking to me b/c of the break up (it was "my fault"). So Cheryl always invited me. After a year, I couldn't stand her pushiness and her need to MAKE me go out with her. It was like she said, "You're going" instead of "do you want to go?" BF3: Jenni is a nice girl and we have a lot in common. We hang out a lot but we're not really best friend status yet. I'm starting to notice her know-it-all tendencies. Like, I'll say I discovered this great new band and she'll say, "Oh DUH I've been listening to them for years..." And she says this for almost everything these days. So, I know it's me that is causing these friendship break-ups, but is this common? Does everyone find that after awhile, friends flaws turn you off?
Amy22 Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 I really haven't had one best friend for most of my life. I think most of it is just we all change over the years and therefore your friends and who you hang out with changes. I don't think that any friend is perfect and some of mine have flaws that you mentioned above. Right now I can't say I have a best friend. I just have friends and hang out with different people different nights. When you have a best friend do you hang out like 7 days a week? I am just asking because if I hung out with anyone all the time I am sure my flaws would drive them crazy and theirs would drive me crazy. I guess that is why I enjoy hanging out with a lot of different people through out the week.
Author moredeborah Posted November 2, 2007 Author Posted November 2, 2007 well, not all the time 24/7 hanging out, but at least once a week. and my current BF, we work together so that's why we see each other so much.
Amy22 Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 Well if you are not hanging out with them all the time then I would just say it is because over the years you have changed and just didn't feel the same connection and you found a new best friend who you felt more comfortable hanging out with.
Pedigree Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 Does everyone find that after awhile, friends flaws turn you off? Yeah. But I usually don't break friendships, though. Usually with me what happens is that we're still friends but we become quite distant from another (ie. we'll meet now and again but most of the time we hang out with other friends).
AriaIncognito Posted November 4, 2007 Posted November 4, 2007 I think as with any relationship you have to weigh the good with the bad and decide whether or not the friendships are toxic to you or good for you. Some you'll find that while they might be slightly annoying, they are still good people and you still like them on some level. Some you'll find that they are truly a bad influence and will have to cut it off. I think you have to basically deal with friendships as you would any relationship. Also, since we do change quite often, it's not all that unusual to go from one set of friends to another to another. Eventually you might find some that stick through moving groups, but if not, usually it's all in the growing process.
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