Matthew2106 Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 So basically, Me and my girlfriend were on a break, due to her having feelings for someone and she didn't have that same fresh and new flare with me at the time. She hasn't said this.. but it's what she means. [ We had spent 20 months together ] Now she's with this guy, and I would still like to be with her. I partly blame myself, for talking to her about it instead of taking a proper break. Then maybe she wouldn't have gone off with him, and realised what life would be like without me there. She seems to be not thinking about me at all, especially when she's with him. Which is al lthe time right now. Do I still have a chance? This guy was her best friend... and now she might be scared to break it off even if she did feel anything, losing him all together. We've had so many great times.. and we love each other. I've always been worried that NC will only pull us apart, especially now she's with someone. And then I'll just lose chances of being with her for good.
funkybassplayer Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 for now let her go, and work on yourself. there is nothing you can do, and if shes happy then let her be. Its your ego pulling you back, if you can control that, then you can control yourself. Let her go and see if she comes back to you, if not, keep moving forward, and one day you may be in a place for a friendship if ou both wish it. Give to yourself now, not to your ex. She has someone new, and is in a new honymoon, and nothing will get in the way of that. I had the same, and i left her the best i could, only to see her back on a dating site 4 months later. Its not nice to see it failed, but it made me realise that i was more than the new guy. Be aware of your ego, work on you, and just connect with life, and nature, a long walk and a think is far better than drink, and misery. Be strong.
Author Matthew2106 Posted November 3, 2007 Author Posted November 3, 2007 It's a hard thing to keep up right now. I'm trying my best to, but it would appear she's even re-kindling, and arranging to meet with her old friendships of people she's hated, maybe to cope with the coming weeks where she can't see her new boyfriend as more... Perhaps she's trying to keep her distance from me for whatever reason?
waitingwaitingonyou Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 7 days of NC. Started it right after we broke up. We broke up because she is a drug addict and she cheated on me. I just wish she would call. I miss her and want her in my life. It is hard for me to not pick up the phone and call her. I started nc the day we broke up. I have not talked to her, sent one email, or even sent a text message. I have deleted her from my facebook and MSN. I have took all the steps of nc. I am working on myself but she still haunts my thoughts. What do i do?
funkybassplayer Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 the first few weeks are the hardest. Expect to feel the lowest lows, and mornings filled with sadness. The days can seem long, just waiting to go to bed so if you do sleep you have a few hours of freedom. I have been where you are, and to be honest, other than coming to terms with your emotions, there is very little you can do, but feel what your body is going through. But your feeling this way to emerge stronger and wiser. this is how we develope and grow in life. There really are no words to make you feel better, but you will eventually come to terms with this and you will settle. Just do what you can for now to stay healthy, drink water, eat as best you can, dont do anything you dont want to, if you must lock yourself away for a few days. For now, its best to stay away from the ex, as there is nothing she can do to help at this stage. I hope you guys can be stong and know that things really will get better. If your head is spinning withh emotions, try to calm yourself by sitting down, slow deep breaths, try to think of calm things like water. Be aware that sad emotion is the same as happy, at the end they are just emotions that can be controled.
Author Matthew2106 Posted November 3, 2007 Author Posted November 3, 2007 She just told me she hates me and hopes I die in a text message =\ Because her mom spoke to me, and I told her that she was lying about being with her best friend, She was with that Guy -_-;
bustertypsy Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 Matthew my friend, I feel for you,but listen to me very carefully.You have 2 options. 1-You can pursue your ex for as long as you want.If she doesn't want you nothing will change her mind,least you pressurising her.She will withdraw from you and actually start to dislike you.Pressure causes the person to withdraw even further.By all means let your ex know you love her and want things to work.Let her know your'e sorry for your actions,inactions.Ask,even beg for forgiveness in the first or second day of the breakup.Now you've done all you can,the ball is in her court! 2-This is where NC kicks in,and is the only way forward,regardless of the outcome. When you let them know that you love them,want them,are sorry, etc etc,you have now done all you can from your perspective. From this point onwards all you can do is move forward. Believe me Matthew,if the love is there NC will give her the time she needs to think about you and what she no longer has(even if she made the decision) If she loves you she will not be able to find peace unless she lets you know,and contact will be made.....but by her!. She may try to fight it,but eventually love will be the victor,always will be. So Matthew,by doing nothing is far more productive than chasing,begging etc. Take option 2,it's a winner every time.I wish you well. Keep me posted. Bustertypsy
Author Matthew2106 Posted November 6, 2007 Author Posted November 6, 2007 I would just like to say... I've made a personal realization in the past week. Since she told me those things, she almost set me free. I realized I deserve better than that, and that I CAN in fact do way better. Even if she did come back to me in a month or so, I'd say no. I don't talk to her anymore but I'm not too worried about it because she was so horrible to me it's not even worth it. I've met 2 really nice girls also =] And I'm forging good friendships, the grass really does get greener on the other side. Thank you to everyone for their advice.
bustertypsy Posted November 7, 2007 Posted November 7, 2007 Matthew,this is good news.Just don't let your guard down.Emotions can resurface without warning.But I think your mind is set to forward instead of rewind, and that is such a positive thing.You mentioned the 2 girls.Well,just remember,don't use an innocent person to help you get over another.Be upfront and honest and make sure everybody knows exactly where they stand,so nobody gets hurt.Keep up the good work my friend. Buster
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