Trappedinabox Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 Hi all, I'm new here..been reading these posts for a while and would also like some advice So, the story goes... my ex & I split a month & 1/2 ago..she broke up with me..she has some health issues at the moment, and cited those as the reason, which I understand. However, in a post break-up conversation she reveled she gave up on us long before this,sometimes love just isn't enough,etc etc. So I did the usual "I love you & we can make this work, give me a second chance" etc for a week or so after and with no luck I completely backed off,told her I'd be there if she needed me but I would not contact her. In that time she also told me she couldn't talk to me because she couldn't be what I needed. Fast forward, I started hearing from her every few days (text msgs) just to say hey and to remind me that she's there for me and I can call whenever I want to etc. Then she started to call, once a week I guess. Now 7 weeks later she's calling almost everyday,sometimes twice a day just to chat, also pushing me to tell her what's going on in my head..also texts at 1:30-2am to say "I've been thinking of you" or "I was going to call tonight,sorry I didn't" Every conversation ends with "if you feel like calling me, please just call" So,this is doing my head in! It feels like she's got something more to say everytime but she never does and whenever I try to end the conversation she always says she doesn't need to go and we end up talking for another hour or so-great conversations too, flirty,light-hearted, giggly. Now we're going away together in a week for a short break which was planned after we broke up and I'm getting texts almost everyday saying how excited she is, how many days until we go,etc etc. The trip is very much all planned out and seems very couple-y and she often mentions that she's been to a certain place we're going to before and how she's sure it will be much better with me.. Anyway, I could go on forever! I'm not sure what to think about all of this and am so confused.. Just need someone else's opinion? Thanks x
Scorpio13c Posted November 2, 2007 Posted November 2, 2007 Hi Trapped, How serious were/are her health issues? Why did she cite those as her reasons for breaking up? How old are the two of you? Can't really give you any insight until those questions are answered first. Scorp
Author Trappedinabox Posted November 3, 2007 Author Posted November 3, 2007 Hi Scorp, Her health issues aren't life-threating, more of a chronic illness which changes her lifestyle. But at this stage it remains undiagnosed. She said she needed time to focus on herself and getting better, and this was the last place she ever expected or wanted to be in but she didn't know what else to do. I'm 24 and she's 23, we were together for just over a year.. this illness started to present in the last 4 months of our relationship and got progressively worse.
Amy22 Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 It sounds like she is either playing games or she wants to at least discuss trying to work things out. I would be cautious. I wonder if she thought you would be calling her and begging her to come back and then when you moved on and she realized you were strong. What worries me if you did start to call her and show her what you have been feeling when the challenge of getting you is over what is she going to do. I would try to find a way to kind of either ask her or just tell her you are broken up and you can't contact each other and see if she spills her guts. Just be careful because she could say ok and you could never hear from her again. You could just see what happens on vacation. Hopefully then whatever she is feeling would come out. Just becareful because if you read her signs and act on it, you could read them wrong and mess things up. I am sorry I wasn't to much help. It is hard to tell what people are thinking and why they do what they do.
Scorpio13c Posted November 3, 2007 Posted November 3, 2007 Hi Scorp, Her health issues aren't life-threating, more of a chronic illness which changes her lifestyle. But at this stage it remains undiagnosed. She said she needed time to focus on herself and getting better, and this was the last place she ever expected or wanted to be in but she didn't know what else to do. I'm 24 and she's 23, we were together for just over a year.. this illness started to present in the last 4 months of our relationship and got progressively worse. Hey Trapped, At 23, women can be very ambiguous with what they want. Unless her illness is a progressive type that is also debilitating to the degree of eventually having to be dependant on someone, i wouldn't buy that excuse. You see, if it were, she could be testing your commitment to her, if not, she is unsure of her real feelings towards you. I wouldn't go on vacation with her unless she stated that she wants to get back together. Anything short of that, well she broke up right? Act like you are broken up. Don't allow her to lead you on with false pretenses, otherwise, you'll get burned. She's either your girlfriend, or she is not. Forget the trip & tell her you don't do romantic getaways unless it's with a significant other ie: a girlfriend whom you are not broken up with. Scorp
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